Emerald Cheetah

So I had heard about the discrimination that happens in the LGBT+ community. However since I hadn't been identifying as Aro for long, I hadn't experienced this discrimination from anyone, let alone from someone in the community at all yet. Sadly, I just had a run in with this first hand a few weeks ago for the first time. I was talking with my German friend over the phone and he asked me to tell him about something new in my life. I was struggling to tell him something so random so he asked me about my love life. I hadn't really told many people of my Aromanticism, and he's not someone you can take seriously so I told him jokingly that "I don't have a love life". Then when he said that surely there must be someone, I decided to say the "A" word. I said "I'm Aromantic"...He was Bisexual so I thought he would be accepting but then he said " I don't believe you" and that shocked me. I had never experienced this so I didn't know how to respond. All I could say was "Why?". I tried to play it off as he told me things like that I should try dating, or as he asked me if there really is nobody that I would date, or as he suggested I was just socially awkward and not Aromantic but on the inside it was starting to hurt. It hurt even more after the conversation ended. As I reflected on the conversation I realized he had tried to "fix" me. He tried to get me to date. He tried to make me something I'm not, and it was a member of the LGBT+ community that did this! (The only good thing I got out of that is now I'm starting to think I might be asexual too, not heterosexual like I previously thought. but what a way to find that out...definitely not how I'd prefer to) Now that I've experienced this, it is clear that this is a real problem. People think we don't exist. People think there's something wrong with us just as my friend suggested it was my social awkwardness that was the problem (though other worse informed people will suggest things like actual mental illness). And even worse, we are overshadowed in our own community and that has lead even our own peers to believing that we don't exist. I began noticing things I would overlook like how, and I'm sure you guys don't do that here, but when I look through the aromantic hashtag in instagram I'll see posts that deal with asexuality only. There's not a single mention of aromantics except in the hashtag! It's a bit of a pain having to scroll past those nonaromantic posts especially for people who aren't even asexual. It's also hard when some (not all!) alloromantic asexuals will throw aromantics under the bus to be accepted as well by saying things along the line of "Look! I have a partner. I experience love too! There's just no sex involved." Now I know not all Alloromantic Asexuals do this but some do and this is definitely damaging to the Aromantic community. I'm just beginning to notice how different we are from the rest of the LGBT+ community. We are separated from them by a common bond a lot of them share: love. And it's not just a small part of the asexual community that will do it, parts of the LGBT community will do it unknowingly when they argue their case saying that "it's just love." This helps them, but when they've been accepted by others, the aromantic community won't be accepted because those same arguments will be used against us. It hurts us in the long run. Yeah I'm sorry this post is very all over the place! I'm kind of having a crisis. It's just, as other parts of the LGBT community are starting to be accepted, aromantics are struggling to get any recognition at all. We're growing slowly but I'd love to see more progress. But how? How can we make people see us and understand us? After this incident I feel like I'll be more hesitant in the future to come out to, well, anyone!

Hello! Based on your description I'd say you're aromantic. I'm also romance repulsed so I can relate to some of what you said. However I wouldn't be able to say whether or not you're demisexual because I'm also quite confused where I stand in terms of sexuality. I identify as heterosexual but it's not as clear as my aromanticism. Sure, I have sexual "desire" but I've never experienced sexual "attraction" towards anyone (at least not that I know of). Hopefully someone else can drop by and give you their opinion on the sexuality portion because I honestly can't answer that one.

I honestly don't know if I can ever remember having a dream that wasn't in first person. In most of my dreams the only senses I have are sight and sound (or sometimes just sight). Other times I have the sense of touch as well but when touch is involved it usually has to deal with pain. I can remember having a dream where I was sitting in the stands and all of a sudden I could feel my teeth twisting in my mouth like they were being pulled out (And I don't think I even woke up immediately after some of my teeth fell out). It was seriously painful but most of the time with my dreams, the sense of touch isn't that extreme.

Yeah I definitely don't want to have kids either because the thought of those 9 torturous months and the fact that I'd have somebody who's dependent on me kind of ruins the whole thought for me. The "Genetic Guilt" you're mentioning makes sense. After all, it's only natural since the survival of our species depends on procreation. However at the end of the day, I look at the pros and cons, and having kids seems to have more cons in for me. However, the best solution that I can think of to such a problem is adoption. The child may not be your blood but they will still, in a sense, be a continuation of your family. They will become a part of your family tree. Not to mention, it's a great service because there are far too many children who never get adopted and never get to know what it's like to have a mother or father.

wow. Either there are a lot of nonreligious people in Arocolypse, or the nonreligious just realllly gravitate towards religion-themed posts. I'm willing to wager it's a little bit of both. @DeltaV There was another thread like this? awwww I wish I could've been there to see the flames spread. But yeah it's understandable that religion is one of those topics that can get out of hand really fast. As long as people don't put too much opinion into their posts, it should be fine! However it's very hard, if not impossible, to keep opinions out as most people feel very strongly on such a topic (including me). So yeah, the conditions are very good for this thread to become a fire-y one. Let's hope it doesn't! I'm almost thinking of making an individual thread for atheists since there's more here than I originally thought.

Yeah I understand. Perhaps we could talk about this privately instead? I know a lot of the non-religious aren't all the same when it comes to their lack of belief. Some are repulsed, some aren't. Though I tend to use the description of atheist more, because I see it as an umbrella term that a lot of people can understand better than other terms like agnostic, humanist, etc. etc. I include agnostic in there because it's not well understood that agnostic defines knowledge, but not belief. That's why I'm an agnostic atheist, because both labels convey two different meanings. I'm agnostic because I feel there's no verifiable way to prove that a god or gods exist. But I'm also an atheist because I choose not to believe in any particular god.

Nice. I've never met an eclectic pagan before! It's cool that your parents didn't force anything on you. I really wish more parents did that nowadays. Before I got confirmed (yup, there was no escaping it), my Youth Group took us to multiple churches and temples nearby. I got to see a hindu temple, a Sikh temple, etc. It was really cool. Awareness of other religions and cultures is super important and I like that Religions aren't being so exclusive anymore. Though the United States (where I live) still has a long way to go towards complete acceptance. Hello fellow atheist ? I'm glad you're Catholic school is accepting of who you are. It gives me a little more hope for humanity when we can accept those who are different.

So I know this community isn't super big which is why this post is not about a specific religion. But that's okay! Because I'd love to see what Religion most members of the community identify with. Comment down below your religion and how it has impacted your life. If it has had any effect whatsoever on your aromanticsm, comment that too (I don't really expect Religion to have much of an effect on it but if there is prove me wrong, by all means)! I'll start. I am an atheist (agnostic atheist if you want to be specific) but I grew up going to a Methodist Church. I didn't become an atheist until around 7th grade though it could have been earlier. I honestly don't remember when I became one as it was more of a slow transition. I don't think my atheism has had an effect on my aromanticism because being an atheist doesn't really come with any strings attached. Being an atheist is just a descriptor of what I'm not and nothing more. What about all of you?

This is the best I could find from Pinterest (some aren't really even memes though. They're just jokes): https://www.pinterest.es/pin/298433912789955120/ https://www.pinterest.es/pin/433893745329277436/ https://www.pinterest.es/pin/282671314085626653/ https://www.pinterest.es/pin/251216485444890846/ https://www.pinterest.es/pin/AVrwawYoBViL0b1rVfgnSC1bymkH-MZmhJ9rhHQjuUUMPlu3PDahM14/ Yeah. The Aro community really doesn't have any memes. WE NEED MORE MEMES PLEASE.

@mythlady YES SO TRUE. Spoilers for non-RWBY viewers below!!!!!!

I'm a Slytherin ? Once, my friends asked me what my house was and they had the most horrified look when I told them I was a Slytherin. It was quite hilarious actually! Most of my friends are Hufflepuffs though which I find...interesting

YMBAI you cringe every time you encounter the Hallmark channel. Seriously, my mom loves the hallmark channel and it's excruciating to watch their movies because 1. It's obvious how it ends and 2. ROMANCE EVERYWHERE

@DannyFenton123 OMG YES. One time, I tried to play footsie with a friend and they told me footsie was flirting and I was so confused because I sincerely thought footsie was just a game you play with someone when you want to annoy them or have fun. Like seriously, I just see it as a friendly competition of trapping the other person's feet. HOW IS THAT FLIRTING?!?!?