Rose Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 As a heterosexual cisgender aro female, I walk precariously on a tightrope of misunderstanding between the "straight" community at one end, and the LGBT+ community at the other. To my straight friends (and by "straight" I mean the heterosexual, heteroromantic, cisgender people), particularly the male ones, I am an utter confusion. All of them that I have come out to understand my aromantism and agree THEY would never pursue a relationship with someone unless their romantic feelings were reciprocated, yet cannot see why I struggle to find a partner. The question always comes up "well, sure, I would not pursue a non-romantic sexual relationship with you, but isn't that every guy's dream?" *Face palm* I have yet to figure out if guys honestly believe THEY are the only ones who want romance and cannot extrapolate that (almost) EVERYONE feels that way...or if stereotypical heteronormative relationship roles are so deeply ingrained they can't imagine that all other males are anything less than sex-crazed, emotionless people. Both seem sad options. On the other hand, several of my LGBT+ friends who (even though I am out as aro to them) refer to me as the "straight ally". Thank you (for the erasure of my romantic orientation and also, indirectly, the importance of romantic orientation in determining how we all pursue our relationships)? Yeah, no. Yet often I don't feel "queer enough" or "LGBT+ enough" to contradict them, especially if there are people in the room I am not out to. Do any other cis heterosexual aros feel they experience these or other problems unique to their gender/sexual/romantic orientation combination? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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