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DeltaV

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  1. If just the mangers wouldn't suddenly be so suspicious... Because of Corona I now feel like a very overworked hikikomori. At least I can sleep longer, because no commuting. yeah, well... In professionally very ambitious people I sometimes notice a strange contrast between their intelligence and their shallowness. 😃 I can't complain about interesting new projects. But at some point you start to pine after specialization. After all, it's not just for insects. Human malemployment is possible, too! I know it!
  2. Dutch: eekhoorn (= squirrel), English: cauldron, French: noir (this is very unoriginal), langoureuse (= languishing, languid), German: Nebel (= fog, nebula), Greek: ψυχή (psyche, but I like that in Greek it's a four letter word), Russian: мир (= peace, world), that's a great one!
  3. There exists a little bit of non-fiction about aromanticism... But it sounds you want rather "primary sources" (like autobiographical) or literary non-fiction, right? Probably very difficult to find if it's supposed to be more than a blog post or article.
  4. Split Attraction Model. Now, different types of attraction have always been differentiated (stock example: Aphrodite Pandemos vs. Urania). But still, the idea that sexual attraction is necessary, though not sufficient for romantic attraction, is and was extremely popular. Which is a connection. From the pure wording, calling it a model makes it very ambitious. And using split hints at the claim that they simply are split, as a matter of fact. We don't just differentiate, we observe that they are objectively split. Any connection is just a contingent, statistical thing. So it could perhaps be understood as the claim that humans have two completely separate "brain modules" for romantic attraction and sexual attraction, which some future neuroscientist might discover. I like to compare it to color vision, where our subjective experience leads to wrong assumptions about how our vision is organized. Without any physiological knowledge (that the retina has cone and rod cells) we would assume that we cannot see "Stygian Blue": a color that is black and blue at the same time. Hue and lightness are strongly connected in the sense that for any object we've ever seen being black excludes having a hue - so our eyes' organization should mirror this reality. But with some tricks, we can surprisingly experience such "chimerical colors". So lightness and hue are separate for our eyes. I'm not so optimistic, though, that this is easily translatable to human psychology and the brain. Compared to that the eye is "extremely simple" and research is "extremely straightforward".
  5. I agree that sexual attraction can easily happen without seeing the genitals. As you point out, when people are not undressed. But I fail to see what all the factors you list ("aesthetics, symmetricality, pheromones/smell, fashion, makeup, hair, style, body type, etc") have to do with gender. Strictly speaking they have nothing to do with it. Only in a loose, indirect sense. With gender we have the situation that it can be a self-identity (self-concept) and a social grouping that is imposed by others - in different ways. Point 1., the self-identity, is most likely completely irrelevant for sexual attraction. Whoever is attracted to, say, Miley Cyrus, it's rarely of any importance here that she identifies as genderfluid. So it must be about point 2., gender as externally-imposed grouping. People think they're straight if they are only attracted to people they themselves categorize as the opposite gender (most likely that equals perceived / assumed biological sex). I reckon that the run-of-the-mill straight man puts Miley Cyrus squarely into the group "women" and doesn't doubt that he is straight if he's attracted to her. Now if he gets the information about her gender-self-id he has two options: either he drops his own attraction-self-id or he thinks "Yeah, fine, but I'm still straight". And he'll likely choose the latter option. So we are in the uncomfortable situation that there is a conflict between gender-self-id and attraction-self-id. This might sound far fetched. But there are more drastic cases, like if said straight man declares: "I'm not attracted to Laverne Cox because I'm not gay!". This results in quite a mess that reminds me of the status of Trent Reznor and fans as "industrial musician" and "fans of industrial music" respectively. Reznor is usually regarded as industrial musician. Indeed as one of the most popular and established ones. Yet he never "identified" with that genre. Still he can't escape this externally imposed grouping. Even Wikipedia lists him under this category. And then there are some people that accuse him of not producing "true industrial music", despite he himself never expressed any intent of doing that. And if you're a fan of Reznor does that make you a fan of industrial music? Are you "allowed" to identify as such? While in the case of "music-associated social groupings" this just leads to relatively harmless bickering, the takeaway from this comparison is: this issue has not been resolved after many, many years of argument --- how could it be? there is no rigorous theory behind it! Gender is taken a bit more seriously than music subcultures. To apply a similar "theory", which is perplexingly vague and most of its fundamental terms are elusive to the point of becoming evanescent, may be a bad idea. I hope that the happiness people get out of this "gender" and "attraction" classification thing outweighs the negative effects. But I wouldn't be surprised if that's not case. Personally, I'd rather opt out of it.
  6. I wonder if sexual attraction as you defined really exists. If it does, it seems to be extremely rare and overall of virtually no importance in motivating sexual behavior for most people.
  7. It's funny how this all makes perfect sense to me, like one of the most commonplace problems you could have. While in reality we're part of the tiniest minority... Now I don't go 4 years without feeling sexual attraction, as you said somewhere else... perhaps 4 days. 🙃 Still the list of my special "demands" and mood killers is sooo long, it does rarely translate into action; sometimes it feels too me like I border on graysexual, too... maybe "light gray" 🤷‍♂️
  8. Yes, that's a less loaded way to put it. I mean, of course it's bad to break agreements and lie about it. The question still remains why it is taken so seriously in this case compared to other agreements. Also, in some cultures this agreement of monogamy is not made explicitly, just implicitly assumed.
  9. I think it needs four ingredients for allosexuals to regard sex as just some kind of sport (it's never strictly speaking like a sport, it needs a bit more responsibility than... badminton): they see it as disconnected from genuinely loving another person their sex drive isn't high or persistent they have no interest in something beyond vanilla activities (otherwise it can become very complex) it's not something their sense of self-worth depends on So (1) is a typical aromantic thing. (2) and (3) are likely unrelated to aromanticism. And (4) ... I don't know.
  10. DeltaV

    Word Association

    vending machine
  11. This shutting down announcement of Arocalypse just fitted into this general doomsday feeling. I think there should be an 𝓐𝓻𝓸 𝔼ℕ𝔻 of the 🅦🅞🅡🅛🅓 Party (8. p.m ... till?) but please keep a distance of at least 6 feet from the other guests. Romantic behavior is considered unsafe. There will be free beer...
  12. Input: '2' + 1 Output: '21' Input: '2' - 1 Output: 1
  13. Doctor LBMango, if aros don't get PhDs who will? They have more time!
  14. Since (I hope) nobody desires to eat humans here, I wonder what taste attraction is? So is it about ... licking?❔⁉️ Would still be strange imho. The word attraction certainly doesn't include actually doing it... it means "drawn to"... like with gravitational or magnetic attraction. I guess it's unusual to you how those terms are used here... like there is also platonic attraction and romantic attraction ... and very important differences are glossed over by classifying them all as attractions. It's probably safe to say that platonic and romantic attraction have overall a way less mercurial nature than sexual attraction. They are weaker but long-acting. It's again similar to physics... like the gravitational attraction of the whole Earth can lose against the magnetic attraction of a humble refrigerator magnet. But OTOH gravitational attraction rules the grand scheme of things over long timeframes. Thinking a lot about sensual or aesthetic attraction is probably typical for asexuals, because both can be confused with sexual attraction. But if you've ever felt sexual attraction, you won't confuse it – the difference is very clear and specific. I don't think that sensual and aesthetic attraction are generally strong or enduring enough to make allosexual people reflect about them deeply (contrary to their platonic, romantic and sexual attraction).
  15. Ok, so this has to do something with religion and I'll shoehorn something in about aromanticism... Last Friday I saw all these guys running around with roses in the public, for real. What was this again? Oh... of course. Then I wondered if Valentine's Day isn't like in a really bad time of the year! Still deep in the winter!!! Where do you get the roses from? 🌹 + ❄️ = 😕 This tradition must be relatively modern. Only after the invention of air cargo ... or at least greenhouses. Is this perhaps ... a celebration of romantic craziness? This is true only for the Northern Hemisphere, of course. Only logically, on the Southern Hemisphere there are some Wiccans and Celtic neopagans etc. who celebrate Beltane on 31 October / 1 November. It switched places with Samhain (Halloween) for them. Sooo... shouldn't Valentine's Day be on a different date for the Southern Hemisphere, too? Like on 14 August? Then we could transport via air cargo the roses that naturally bloom in the Northern Hemisphere's summer to the Southern Hemisphere. And the other way around. Wouldn't that be great?
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