anzu2snow Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Hi! Realized I'm ace last June, and aro back in November. So, I still feel new to the ace community, and even more so to the aro community. Of course, I've always felt this way, but it's good to have words for it, and know that there are others like me. Joined AVEN a while back, so I decided to join this forum. I've felt alienated and different before I knew about both those terms. I thought if I pretended to feel like everyone around me, I'd feel what they felt. Obviously, that didn't happen. I've embraced it now. I'm pretty much out to everyone, and open about it. I've only had 2 people react negatively. One felt sorry for me, and thought that there must be something wrong with me. The other implied that it was a phase, the right man could change me, and that I needed a straight relationship. I think it'd be awesome to have a qpr, and gender wouldn't matter to me. I like the idea of a relationship that's not romantic and sexual. It's more emotional and platonic. Oh, I created a local ace group on facebook, and we're finally meeting offline a week from this Saturday. It'd be awesome if there's another aro ace. I know one of the allies is aro, so that's great, too. I'm an author of 2 books, clarinetist, love my cats, into cooking, love learning languages, learning about cultures, amateur photographer, and more. Sorry, if this was too long. Nice to meet everyone!
Spud Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 It's awesome that you're able to be open about everything like that! It's also great that you were able to find the right words to describe yourself. Welcome to Arocalypse. Enjoy the ice cream and papos! *insert shameless discord chat plug here*
Louis On Air Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Great, well welcome to this site. A new face is always welcome.
Ace of Amethysts Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Hi, I guess. You look a little familiar. Here`s some ice cream.
anzu2snow Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 Thanks for the warm welcome. Yay, ice cream!
omitef Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 Hey, Anzu--I'm glad you found us. I'm sorry to hear that people reacted negatively to your coming out--it's happened for me too, and I've never understood why people would react negatively to aromanticism. It's also cool to hear that you're interested in QPRs--if you ever have questions about QPRing, feel free to PM me, cuz' intimate relationships outside the bounds of romance are MESSY as FUCK. Also, as @Spud said, we have a Discord chat if you're interested in joining. have a sith lord papo
anzu2snow Posted February 23, 2017 Author Posted February 23, 2017 Thanks, @omitef! Yeah, I had a huge urge to tell the one who said it was a phase: "Maybe you'll change your mind someday. Maybe you'll become lesbian, bi, ace, etc." When I explained qpr's in the most simple way I could, she looked like a deer in the headlights. Meanwhile, my parent and a couple of close friends of our family seemed to understand quickly. My parent think it's interesting and would be cool. Cool, thank you! I might pm you in the future, then. I feel new to it, and am slowly learning more. Nice, I might join that, too.
omitef Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 @anzu2snow Yoooo you told your parents about QPRs?!? That's brave. I dread ever needing to explain QPRs to allos because I've never gotten anything other than a dismissive response of "isn't that just the same thing as a best friend/good friendship?" Either that, or people start talking about my QPR as if it were a romantic relationship. One of my friends even started judging how attractive the personality of my QP friend was after I started describing her, as if she were going to be his potential girlfriend (oddly enough, same friend actually asked me if I wanted to be in a QPR with him)
anzu2snow Posted February 23, 2017 Author Posted February 23, 2017 @omitef Yeah, I told my parent (she's a trans woman, but sometimes I still call her Dad. Can't call her Mom, because my mom passed away...) and those friends who are like family about qpr's at Thanksgiving. That rude lady was there, too. Since I told them I'm aro ace, we ended up talking about relationships, and they wanted to know if I'd be happy without one. I explained that a qpr is basically like a relationship without the sexual and romantic stuff. What do you have left? My parent said it sounded a lot like what her relationship was to my mom when my mom started to get sick. The friends of ours have an interesting relationship anyways. They never wanted kids, and to spite the idea of a traditional wedding, they had it on Halloween. People dressed up in costumes instead. Sounded cool. They loved the idea, too. The other lady said: "a relationship is entirely built on that! Without that you have nothing!" I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with telling people.
DannyFenton123 Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 Hey, welcome to the forums! It's awesome to have you here! (Also awesome work writing those two books! I'm working on some ideas myself )
techno Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 Welcome! Glad to have you here! Hope to see you on discord, too!
shotinthehand Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Hello and welcome! What are the two books you've written?
anzu2snow Posted March 11, 2017 Author Posted March 11, 2017 @shotinthehand, the first one's called Alliance, and the second one's Sweet Endless Terror: An Anthology of Nightmares. With Alliance, it's a fantasy, mystery, and has some horror. In their world, humans and demons are segregated, with demons getting the best schools, housing, hospitals, etc. Shadow, the main character, is the first to be admitted to what was once a demon's only college that's opened its doors to everyone. With SET, it's 12 short stories based on my recurring nightmares. (I've had many more than 12.) Definitely full of horror. They're both on Amazon now. First time using their promos for SET, and it's doing much better than it did in other places. I'm really excited about both of them now.
shotinthehand Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 17 hours ago, anzu2snow said: @shotinthehand, the first one's called Alliance, and the second one's Sweet Endless Terror: An Anthology of Nightmares. With Alliance, it's a fantasy, mystery, and has some horror. In their world, humans and demons are segregated, with demons getting the best schools, housing, hospitals, etc. Shadow, the main character, is the first to be admitted to what was once a demon's only college that's opened its doors to everyone. With SET, it's 12 short stories based on my recurring nightmares. (I've had many more than 12.) Definitely full of horror. They're both on Amazon now. First time using their promos for SET, and it's doing much better than it did in other places. I'm really excited about both of them now. Cool! More books for horrendously long reading-list!
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