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squishes and age difference


Ettina
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Are squishes less age dependant than romantic and sexual attraction? Is it creepy or problematic to squish on a child when you're an adult?

 

My squishes have been directed roughly equally towards adults and children, although they feel a bit different (for kids I feel a lot more protectiveness, like I want to be their mother). Before I knew the difference between a squish and sexual attraction I was afraid I might be a paedophile. I even squished on my little brother for awhile when he was 2 or so. I've even squished on my cats.

 

It just occurred to me that I'm not sure I'm using the word squish correctly. For me it feels like an overwhelming love for them, and feeling like my heart is pulling towards them, and just amazed and overwhelmed that someone so wonderful and amazing and mysterious could actually exist, mixed with a sudden wish that I could just be in that moment with them forever. I want to hug them tight and never let go. It hits me for a couple minutes and then fades, and often I'll have a phase where the same individual triggers it occasionally every time I see them. It does fade over time, though.          

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I have no clue. I've had squishes on people 40 years older than me, and on people 10 years younger than me. and anywhere in between. 

 

right now if someone is moer than 10 years younger than me I feel uncomfortable about it and avoid developing it in anyway. and if it's someone too old I feel too inadequate to approach them. 

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in my experience, friendships 10+ years apart tend to be more fleeting than within my same age group. with the younger folk, at some point the difference in age/experience will eventually bring to surface some fundamental worldview difference that makes it awkward to avoid a fight because they think you are a peer and you being a mentor is hard on them, and with people older then me... I'm that young one who is not comfortable having them always have more experience, a mentor instead of a peer. 

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I don't know if that counts as a squish, but I've had that feeling for people (of varying ages), and animals. There's nothing sexual or romantic about it at all, for me. As far as I can tell, it's pure unconditional love. I have no idea if other people feel this often... I think some do. There are some people who say they feel this kind of love for everyone, everywhere, at the same time. I have no idea how they can do that without exploding. But it's a very interesting concept to me... and I don't think it's weird or creepy in any way whatsoever. I'd like to learn more about this and maybe learn to feel it for more people/animals at a time. It's easier for me to feel that way about animals than humans, anyway.

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I think it really depends on what you're considering a squish.

 

Unconditional love toward someone, in my opinion, is different than a squish (with overlap, obviously, but I don't think they're synonymous). For me, unconditional love is kind of omnipresent; I feel it all the time for a number of people. When I think of a squish, only one person comes to mind; for me, squishes are very individualized.

 

I think it might make more sense this way: I feel copious amounts of platonic and/or familial love toward so many people, but I only feel toward one person what I would classify as maybe a squish.

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On 12/11/2016 at 4:03 PM, Ettina said:

 

Would you count the feeling I described above as a squish?   

 

Based on my personal definition, no. But my definition might vary from other people's.

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  • 9 months later...

i don't think age matters in terms of a purely platonic squish.  i already feel vaguely creepy for sometimes being sexually attracted to 16-year-old guys (i'm 19).  i think all my squishes, aside from some on celebrities, have been on people close to my age.  i'm not sure whether you'd count this, but my cousin is 5 years younger than me and i really like being with her and have had periods of time when it felt like a squish.  it would only occur to me to evaluate something like that if it were a boy because i'm not sexually attracted to girls at all (nor romantically to anyone).

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