mordo Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 honestly just my opinion not trying to speak for everyone but personally aro communities saying the whole “we still feel love even if it’s not romantic” feels like excluding the people who don’t necessarily feel “love” for other people. idk sometimes it feels like there isnt much community for the people who don’t feel strong/any alterous attraction, and it feels weird not feeling any attraction or desire for a close relationship even though it’s the “stereotypical” view of what aromantic is. kinda just a rant and no hate to aros who do feel strong forms of attraction or want a relationship i’m mostly just trying to find other people who relate lol 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianBird Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 Actually this a really good argument 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueEvergreen Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 I dislike the argument as well, as the idea of being any sort of exclusion for not feeling a type of attraction seems kind of dumb in an aro community, where we experience the same thing in the outside world 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confused Opossum Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 i agree. i see the whole “we can still love” argument as an attempt to please alloros and fit into amatonormative standards…. while pushing loveless aros and aros who feel little to no attraction under the bus. no hate to aros who do love and feel other types of attraction, but that shouldn’t be our argument as to why aros are valid. a more apt argument might be smth along the lines of “some aros love, some don’t, either way we exist and we deserve space/respect” 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueEvergreen Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 33 minutes ago, Confused Opossum said: “some aros love, some don’t, either way we exist and we deserve space/respect” This is so much of a better way to put it 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opal Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 16 hours ago, mordo said: honestly just my opinion not trying to speak for everyone but personally aro communities saying the whole “we still feel love even if it’s not romantic” feels like excluding the people who don’t necessarily feel “love” for other people. idk sometimes it feels like there isnt much community for the people who don’t feel strong/any alterous attraction, and it feels weird not feeling any attraction or desire for a close relationship even though it’s the “stereotypical” view of what aromantic is. kinda just a rant and no hate to aros who do feel strong forms of attraction or want a relationship i’m mostly just trying to find other people who relate lol I loved this so much because when I clicked this I wasn't expecting such a powerful, persuasive argument and it really changed my mind on this subject. 59 minutes ago, Confused Opossum said: no hate to aros who do love and feel other types of attraction, but that shouldn’t be our argument as to why aros are valid. a more apt argument might be smth along the lines of “some aros love, some don’t, either way we exist and we deserve space/respect” This is such a strong statement and I loved the way you phrased it. Honestly, this subject should be more talked about as a whole and this thread is so significant. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 3 hours ago, Confused Opossum said: i agree. i see the whole “we can still love” argument as an attempt to please alloros and fit into amatonormative standards…. while pushing loveless aros and aros who feel little to no attraction under the bus. Yes, it's to please allos. Not sure if that's the most important factor, though. Some aros imagine the aro community being their perfect "platonic dating pool". Loveless aros disturb this romanticized 😄 view. The distinction between "loveless" and "empathyless" is not much explored, and the two get easily confused. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 On 10/4/2023 at 7:35 PM, mordo said: no hate to aros who do feel strong forms of attraction I feel strong familial/platonic love and the whole "aros can still feel love" thing pisses me off to no end. It feels like I'm being used as a shield against criticism of loveless antagonism (I'm curious if anyone else feels this way and/or aros who feel romantic love sense that with "aro people can still date"? or if it's more a me thing). And it feels like I'm expected to make up for my romantic attraction with it. AND it feels like alloros expect me to express platonic love the way they express romantic love even though it's not anywhere near similar to romantic love. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 4 hours ago, Neon said: I feel strong familial/platonic love and the whole "aros can still feel love" thing pisses me off to no end. It feels like I'm being used as a shield against criticism of loveless antagonism (I'm curious if anyone else feels this way and/or aros who feel romantic love sense that with "aro people can still date"? or if it's more a me thing). And it feels like I'm expected to make up for my romantic attraction with it. AND it feels like alloros expect me to express platonic love the way they express romantic love even though it's not anywhere near similar to romantic love. One of the first nice mainstream articles about aromanticism was titled "Aromantics just want to be your friend". LOL, that we went from there to "aros can still feel love" ... It would still be exclusive, because some aros DO NOT, but at least it doesn't use that word love. Which nowadays means romantic love 98 % of the time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Newest Fabled Creature Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 (edited) As someone who may call themselves a loveless aro even when I don't always consciously identify as such, I always hated the argument that aros can "love in other ways." It's not that I'm trying to say that there aren't aros who do love in other ways, but it felt like the aro community was still trying to use love to humanize ourselves. It feels unnecessary to broaden the word "love" in the attempt to still be considered human when aphobes will not like us anyway nor consider that we exist in the first place. I didn't like it when some alloroaces used love to humanize themselves, but when I see fellow aro-specs get caught up in that as well, I oftentimes just want to be an ass and say that I don't love in other ways, and never will, even though I do; I know it'll look like I'm contradicting myself in saying that, but there are aros who don't love in other ways at all, and there are aros who do, but we shouldn't utilize that as some weapon to where we're just segregating ourselves from each other. Edited February 4 by The Newest Fabled Creature 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P4R4D0X Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 (edited) Being anattractional, i could not agree to this topic more. Edited February 6 by N1GHTM4R3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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