Should I join AVEN

[SwiftySpeedy]

I kind of want to join AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) but I also heard that it was kind of a cesspit which is why a lot of people left AVEN and came here. Should I join?

[HelloThere]

Just now, SwiftySpeedy said:

I kind of want to join AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) but I also heard that it was kind of a cesspit which is why a lot of people left AVEN and came here. Should I join?

well it does have a lot of aromantic people on it as well, you can kinda ignore the hate there pretty easily. IT's kinda a side effect of being on a big site, so I'd just tread carefully and report anything suspicious, but otherwise it's ok.

[illumi]

if u want. there r troll posts popping up once in a while but its quickly got rid of and i dont see a bunch of arguments & other shitty drama happening; it could just be that im inactive but as the user above me said; its p ez to ignore the negativity 

[nonmerci]

I think the best is to see for yourself.

I was there a few months ago. I was better than I expected : I think that the biggest toxicity was from a few years ago but thay they "clean up" a lot of it when they change the terms of service to ban things like anti-sexual posts and invalidation.

There are wonderful people on AVEN but you have to chose your places. The just for fun area is cool, the thread dedicated to memes are very fun (and usually full of the best people in AVEN lol). However, stay away from the hot box : usually the problematic thread gets locked and the problematic members get banned eventually, but they have the time to get pretty heatened before they do (usually it is thread about trans people). Also in topics about asexuality, you sometimes find people who don't believe sex-favorable aces exist, so if you are one, I don't recommand it unless you are ready to fight.

 

4 hours ago, HelloThere said:

it does have a lot of aromantic people on it as well, you can kinda ignore the hate there pretty easily

Yeah, I've heard so much that aros were a minority who get shitted on there that I was surprised to see it is not the case. There are a lot of aros and I never met people deny aro's existence or make fun of us there. I think it happened a few years ago (you can find old thread that are... questionable) but not now. I've met misconceptions about aroallos though (it was mostly one or two people, but pretty vocal).

 

So to sum up : I don't think it is as bad as it used to be, though you should avoid hot box at all costs if you don't like fighting.

Edited May 24, 2023 by nonmerci

[Collie]

It's just a huge site. You can block/ignore rude people.

[Holmbo]

I got some good advice there about asexuality. I've not read it written anything about aromanticism there though so I don't know how that is.

[HelloThere]

23 minutes ago, Holmbo said:

I got some good advice there about asexuality. I've not read it written anything about aromanticism there though so I don't know how that is.

There is an aromantic thread there but it’s smaller and gets less attention than arocalypse so I’d suggest it if you want a little extra advice.

[Picklethewickle]

I enjoy the time I spend on AVEN. There is a lot of diversity on that site, not just asexual microlabels but discussions on different forms of attraction, as well as gender, neurodiversity, and faith. There are aroaces on that site as well, but not much of the conversation is around aromanticism. The most frequent topics are people questioning if they are asexual, and asking for guidance on navigating relationships. Almost all the of the sections can be viewed by guests, so you can look around and see what you think of the place. If you decide you do want an account and then change your mind later you always can ask to have your account deleted.

Sometimes I get sad over the number of people who are disappointed in themselves for being asexual, but that isn't the fault of AVEN. The members there actually do a lot to encourage people to come to accept themselves.

[HelloThere]

4 minutes ago, Picklethewickle said:

I enjoy the time I spend on AVEN. There is a lot of diversity on that site, not just asexual microlabels but discussions on different forms of attraction, as well as gender, neurodiversity, and faith. There are aroaces on that site as well, but not much of the conversation is around aromanticism. The most frequent topics are people questioning if they are asexual, and asking for guidance on navigating relationships. Almost all the of the sections can be viewed by guests, so you can look around and see what you think of the place. If you decide you do want an account and then change your mind later you always can ask to have your account deleted.

Sometimes I get sad over the number of people who are disappointed in themselves for being asexual, but that isn't the fault of AVEN. The members there actually do a lot to encourage people to come to accept themselves.

I don’t get how one would be upset over being asexual, it means that you’re literally immune to seduction tactics so you could be a spy! Literally the only reason to be disappointed in my opinion is how others would treat you.

[Picklethewickle]

1 minute ago, HelloThere said:

I don’t get how one would be upset over being asexual, it means that you’re literally immune to seduction tactics so you could be a spy! Literally the only reason to be disappointed in my opinion is how others would treat you.

Exactly! I agree with you so much on this. Yet, it seems many people do feel like their missing something, or that they're defective, or that they've been doing something wrong. Unfortunately people and media can give a lot of messages that hold sex as the norm. Some people internalize these messages to the point they consider their own thoughts and feelings abnormal.

[TrueEvergreen]

It is completely up to you.

Personally, I'm trying to avoid it, but that's partially because it's such a big site which isn't my thing, I don't really have anything against it.