Have you told people you're an aro (in your real life)? I can't decide whether I should or not.

[Ted guy]

I've considered outing myself as an aro in my real life. 

I think "some things are better left unsaid".

A couple reasons I don't want to: I don't think my wife or family would understand. They might interpret that I'm completely lost to the world of love and feel nothing.

It's just misinterpretations.  People don't understand what you're going through until they're in your shoes.

--------

Reasons I want to: I'm worried I've offended a lot of people in the past, some women thinking we had a connection. It turned out I didn't feel that way and I think they took it to heart.

Perhaps outing myself would offer them consolation.

Edited April 9, 2023 by Ted guy

[Isa1116]

I've come out to a few people. Mainly my siblings, cousin and a few friends. My friend are pretty ok with it but my family, though being 'ok' with it, doesn't seem to like it.

I think you should see if the people you want to tell are ok with the lgbtq+ community. Like, subtly bring it into conversation? Or maybe specifically bring up a-spec? Good luck with that though! :)

[Ted guy]

1 hour ago, Isa1116 said:

I've come out to a few people. Mainly my siblings, cousin and a few friends. My friend are pretty ok with it but my family, though being 'ok' with it, doesn't seem to like it.

I think you should see if the people you want to tell are ok with the lgbtq+ community. Like, subtly bring it into conversation? Or maybe specifically bring up a-spec? Good luck with that though! :)

A long time ago my brother brought up thinking I might be asexual (because he couldn't understand why I never wanted a girlfriend).

I dismissed the idea because I am attracted to women, but its mostly aesthetic attraction. It's very hard to reach sexual attraction, but it does happen.

Because of that I didn't know I was aromantic until somebody told me online. Because of that I might bring it to him, but yeah I think my family won't be overly cool with it (as you mentioned)

[Neon]

You should not come out unless you are completely safe and comfortable. From your post, it seems like you are not completely comfortable.

Also, do not come out for someone else. Come out for YOU, and you only.

[BasicallyEmoPotato]

I have come out to my siblings and hinted that I am aro to my parents. But my parents don't know officially. My friends know, but they don't seem to understand it except for a few.

[Collie]

I would, but it's probably going to remain an online-persona-only identity for me. I'm out as asexual and lesbian, I don't think I could explain the grey area of aromanticism to people without a huge hassle

[Holmbo]

It's tricky with a romantic partner. If you do come out you'd also have to talk about if this changes how you both want your relationship to be. It's probably good to be honest though.

[Keith]

While it is important to be honest with your partner, you also need to remember that you should come out for yourself, and not for anyone else. So, if you feel comfortable enough with the people in your life, I say go for it! But bare in mind, that society is really uneducated about aromanticism, so they might not understand it. You should also think about the feelings you have for your wife, and how could your coming out affect your marriage, or maybe what would you like to change about it once you come out.

As for me, the only person IRL who knows about my aromanticism is my ex girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure she never took it seriously. I'm planning on coming out to my current friendgroup though! I just don't know when.

[HelloThere]

On 4/11/2023 at 2:49 PM, Keith said:

While it is important to be honest with your partner, you also need to remember that you should come out for yourself, and not for anyone else. So, if you feel comfortable enough with the people in your life, I say go for it! But bare in mind, that society is really uneducated about aromanticism, so they might not understand it. You should also think about the feelings you have for your wife, and how could your coming out affect your marriage, or maybe what would you like to change about it once you come out.

As for me, the only person IRL who knows about my aromanticism is my ex girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure she never took it seriously. I'm planning on coming out to my current friendgroup though! I just don't know when.

That’s actually pretty cool! I kinda came out to some of my friends but I never said I was, I just said I’m suspicious I am. XD

i’m not really sure I’m old enough to and the only way for me to be really 100% sure in my dumb mind is to date and see if I feel anything. But here’s the kicker, I wouldn’t date anyone other than a close friend and it’s still be awkward explaining the actual purpose of said date because otherwise I’d be just some jerk for using this person as a romantic test subject. So yeah that’s a real pickle right there. And I’m only fifteen so I have no way to be sure! I know that identifying is not permanent but I want it to be set in stone because I can’t mentally handle being wrong after over a month of suspicions. 

[HelloThere]

On 4/11/2023 at 2:49 PM, Keith said:

While it is important to be honest with your partner, you also need to remember that you should come out for yourself, and not for anyone else. So, if you feel comfortable enough with the people in your life, I say go for it! But bare in mind, that society is really uneducated about aromanticism, so they might not understand it. You should also think about the feelings you have for your wife, and how could your coming out affect your marriage, or maybe what would you like to change about it once you come out.

As for me, the only person IRL who knows about my aromanticism is my ex girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure she never took it seriously. I'm planning on coming out to my current friendgroup though! I just don't know when.

Hey btw Keith I’m wondering, just tell me if I’m wrong but are you in early high school? I read one of your posts and it kinda hinted at you being younger, I was just wondering since I’m like 15 years old I could talk and see how you knew for sure you were aro. 

Edited May 6, 2023 by HelloThere

[Keith]

8 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

Hey btw Keith I’m wondering, just tell me if I’m wrong but are you in early high school? I read one of your posts and it kinda hinted at you being younger, I was just wondering since I’m like 15 years old I could talk and see how you knew for sure you were aro. 

Yes, I am!! I saw your comment on my post and I replied to it, but if you have more questions, then don't be afraid to ask them!! You can send me a private message or sth ;D I'm always happy to help!!

[HelloThere]

Just now, Keith said:

Yes, I am!! I saw your comment on my post and I replied to it, but if you have more questions, then don't be afraid to ask them!! You can send me a private message or sth ;D I'm always happy to help!!

Yeah I’ll take this to private message, knowing me that’s gonna be a lot of notifications for the owner of this thread. I am glad to hear that you had figured out you were aro/ace at a young age though. Some don’t figure it out until they’re 30s. XD