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Hello from Germany


LJ_84
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Hi at all,

I am a transmasculine genderneutral person from Germany. Since my first puberty I know that I'm aromantic, unfortunately here is very less knowledge about aromanticism so I often feel like an alien :( I am also autistic, chronically ill and disabled. I'd like to meet other aro sexual people so I don't feel so out of place no more.

 

If anyone wants to know more about me, just ask :)

Greets,
LJ

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Welcome! :icecream: I'm from Germany too (NRW, but hopefully moving soon) and I totally understand that you feel like an alien. Barely anyone here knows aromanticism exists (at least I never heard anyone ever mentioning it). I think my parents think there's only straight and gay/lesbian and my friends only seem to know those plus bisexual since one of my friends identifies that way. Other than that LGBTQ+ orientations/genders are never talked about. I know I surely felt alien until I found out there are lots of people around the world who feel the same way and it's completely normal ^_^ I hope you'll enjoy it here!

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Hi and wellcome

you sound almost like me. So cool.

 

I know the alien feeling. I couldnt even say the word openly for a year ago. Now since I do make meet up and so I get to meet other aro people but the procces of awareness it still very lonely at times cause there are missbeliefs even within the LGBT comunity. Aro sexuals are also rare. I guess its somehow logical since most awareness spread is within the ace comunity.

 

 

 

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Thank you all for welcoming me so dearly! :)

 

Yeah, it's pretty hard to be aro in Germany. Almost every time I try to explain, people keep telling me that I will "find the right person" -.- Another thing what is difficult for me is, that I was asexual before transition and for some 3 months ago I started to experience sexual attraction first time ever towards men and masculine people. It still happens very rarely and randomly oO Maybe I'm something like grey-ace or so, Idk :/ Anyway, I find it very difficult to find someone for a kind of friends with benefits relationship. Most people are first like "Ah yeah that's cool!" but I think they mess it up with "fuckbuddy" what is not what I want! I'd like to have a close friendship where you sometimes also can have sex, but it shouldn't be about the sex only. I think this might fall under queerplatonic relationship? :/

 

Oh btw, I might be in 2nd puberty currently but I'm becoming 32 this year :D

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Welcome! :icecream:

 

3 hours ago, LJ_84 said:

Another thing what is difficult for me is, that I was asexual before transition and for some 3 months ago I started to experience sexual attraction first time ever towards men and masculine people. It still happens very rarely and randomly oO Maybe I'm something like grey-ace or so, Idk

 

Maybe. I sometimes notice that some people look attractive and sometimes even 'hot', but I never feel motivated to actually do something with them for real. I just don't think it's worth the hassle.

 

3 hours ago, LJ_84 said:

I'd like to have a close friendship where you sometimes also can have sex, but it shouldn't be about the sex only. I think this might fall under queerplatonic relationship?

As far as I understand it, that sounds accurate.

 

Quote

The relationship may or may not have some elements or degree of sexuality/eroticism at various times, or none - it doesn't matter, because sexuality/sexual exclusivity is not what the relationship is organized around. It's defined by the intensity and significance of the emotional connection.

From: http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Queerplatonic

 

I like your avatar/quote thingy. Every time I ever told someone I'm single (after they asked), it seemed like they assumed it means I'm "available". Sigh. I've been tempted to just say I'm not single because I'm in a serious relationship with my multiple personalities.

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@SoulWolf Thank you for the link! I'm still getting used to the terms :)

 

Yeah, that I found that logo somewhere and was like "That fits me perfectly!" :D I'd like to print it on a t-shirt or so ;)

 

With that sexual attraction thing... It can happenw hile grocery shopping or something simple. I see a guy and am like "Omg, he is hot, cute" (whatever) and then I'm like "Moment, what was that?!" :D I'm not sure yet if I really want to act on it. Especially as aro. And I can only get intimate with someone I have a platonic bond to :/ 

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