SoulWolf Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I signed up here because I've noticed that a lot of you have the same problems as me... my main priority in life has always been friendship. That just seemed like the most logical thing for me... but over time I've noticed that most people don't really prioritize friendship... like, at all. I've lost friends due to them (probably) being creeped out by me seeming a bit too obsessed(?) over the friendship... they moved away, changed their numbers, didn't tell me anything about it... I tracked them down like the creep I am, and they didn't seem all that happy to hear from me. I just thought that's what a good friend would do... I recently got to the point where I actually completely gave up on people. I lost 90% of my friends to them getting married and breeding and all that... things which I don't have the slightest bit of interest in. Oh, fun side note. Before that, I did spend about 13 years of my life "wanting" a relationship with a friend of mine, because I thought that was the only sensible way that I could be close to him and have him actually consider me as important as I considered him. Took me way too long to realize that's not really how it works... or that it's not healthy (FOR ME) at all. Denial is a weird thing. Anyway. So I gave up on almost everyone I've known for over a decade because they clearly don't value friendship much. Went all cynical and stuff. Then I realized that I don't want to be cynical. I want decent friends. All I've ever wanted was a friend who considers me as important as I consider them. But I'm actually too scared to let people get close to me, no matter how much I'd like that. Partly because I'm sure they'll eventually abandon me like most other people have... and partly because I'm afraid they'll misunderstand my intentions. If they know how much they mean to me, they'll think I'm "romantically interested" in them, whatever the hell that means. Seriously, I just don't understand romantic stuff... and I've read a lot about it and actually really TRIED to understand it... but I just don't... which is frustrating for me because I'm normally pretty good at figuring things out. So... it's awesome to find out that there are other people who feel the same way, and that there are actual words for these concepts. Yay. So hi... that's my life story in a nutshell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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