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trans* persons and names


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First of all: this thread doesn't have to be about me personally, I'd like to have it as an open space for people who want to try out names, but–

HOW DO YOU ALL FIND YOUR NAMES?????? It seems to be a pretty impossible thing.

yeah, so... I'm an trans non-binary person trying to find out it's name. Actually I'd say I'm quite out of the closet for a while now... I mean: People I interact with do know my right pronouns and I'm currently doing hormone therapy^^

But somehow I still didn't really change my birth name (no trans* person has to do so of course!!!) and it starts to feel kinda weird (in the beginning I was like, cool, you don't have a deadname, that's actually amazing). Also because in my head I don't refer to myself with this name anymore so it doesn't seem to fit (I still want to keep it as 2nd name I guess)

I spent a few months elsewhere and people there do know me with another name that my (not yet) deadname. So I already practiced and it felt... good? normal? but even if I like the name and I like when people use it I don't FEEL that it's MY name. So, yeah, how did you all find your names? Cause I need one. And I want to be sure.

Also I want to have this fancy trans* identity card that exists in my country as long as I can't legally change my registered sex and I need to decide which name I want to put on haha

Of course I have people I could ask to use different names for me – but I don't want to tell people another name when I might change it in a few weeks again. I have the urge to be sure myself, so I don't want to tell it everyone (I'm sure close friends wouldn't mind to try different names). But I don't want to use I name for just a few people – elsewhere different groups of people (who all knew I'm an enby) knew me under different names and it stressed me a lot whenever there was the possibility that those groups might interact in a certain way.

 

So, does anyone here have tips how I can find out BY MY OWN which names fit? Lol

How did you know? Did you change it more often? Did it feels "special" or did it just feel "normal"?

 

Also, if you want to feel free to try those names to refer to me/talk about me, I'd love it :):)you could try out neo/meo (both variants!), mati and mio (but I already experienced this name in use so that's less urgent)

Edited by Acecream
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Also trans enby here.

I choosed a name by mixing random letters, deciding that this might work, tested it out a bit as a username online and now when I moved to completely new place just used this name instead. I don't really feel anything special about it, but I like it better. It has taken some time to get used to it, but it's fine now and have never felt wrong.

I don't hate my deadname either, and thought I wanted to keep it as second name for a long time but have changed my mind on that. 

I don't really have any advices to give, but this is how I've done. Hope you find your name, all those you mentioned sounds cool

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Often, your new name is something you might have to "grow into" a bit. As you said, it'll feel good and comfortable and all, but probably won't start feeling like You for a short bit

Personally, I took my Legal middle name and made it my first name, as it's a traditionally masculine name. I masculinized my Legal first name and made that my new middle name. That helped with the connection, as it was already pretty darned similar lol. I'll probably change my first name again when I move out and start Properly transitioning, but that's what I use for now- it took a good year or two of my favorite people using My Name before it felt like Me. I'd only consider changing it again because of bad family memories attached

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On 10/6/2022 at 10:56 PM, A User said:

I based it off my birth name, bc i still have attachments to it

yah that's not that easy with my name as there is no good sounding masculine or neutral variation haha and my name doesn't have that much different letters so you can't really create new names out of it

I'm tending towards meo right now. talked to a friend who knows me since many years about their opinion which one fits me most haha. well, we'll see

thank you all

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It's okay to inform people about using another name than you were using before. Think about your own comfort. Here you can check a base of 200+ gender neutral names – don't look on the "popularity" part because it's connected to the base of PESEL.

Talking about how I found my name… it's very weird story because I literally took it from a random Brazilian football player, lol. I just changed the -i ending to -y.

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14 hours ago, Acecream said:

yah that's not that easy with my name as there is no good sounding masculine or neutral variation haha and my name doesn't have that much different letters so you can't really create new names out of it

I'm tending towards meo right now. talked to a friend who knows me since many years about their opinion which one fits me most haha. well, we'll see

thank you all

totally get it

np tho

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