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When did you first experience sexual feelings / sexual attraction ?


nonmerci
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Hi !

Questions for the allosexuals here, as you may have guessed when you read the title.

I've seen some debates lately about when people "develop" their sexuality. Most of people say it is through puberty, some say it is later and it is not uncommon for people to "become sexual" as young adults.

As of course nobody had data, and internet seem to not have either (the one I find was about attraction in general), I thought the best to do was to ask, so here I am.

How old are you ? And how your aromanticism affected it ?

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that's hard to answer as it's a gradual thing.  i found boys cute by like, 7, but i'm not sure when exactly it became sexual attraction, as such...i guess i started having sexual thoughts around 13-15, but i wasn't considering actually having sex then.  around 16 began my excitement at the idea of two attractive guys together sexually, which i mention because it's still a significant part of my sexuality.  like my sexual fantasies would be about that rather than something involving me, and i started watching gay porn at 18.  for a while i wasn't in any rush to have sex, and what i had--and still have--is rather a lack of opportunity, due partly to my being very particular in terms of who i'm sexually attracted to and partly to my not dating.  eventually i wanted to enough that i began to pursue it (but still not enough that i'd choose to have sex with someone i wasn't substantially attracted to).  i guess that brings us up to now.  i'm 24.  btw i tried to phrase this somewhat delicately but if you have any follow-up questions, however personal, i'd be glad to answer.

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Sexuality is a broad topic. Some aspects of my sexuality were present before puberty (certain kinks, preferences, etc) but that stuff didn't involve Sex.

Actual sexual feelings started when I was around 11-12 and were definitely a thing by the time I was 13-14. My attraction is limited so I can't really say that I've become more sexual as I've grown up, it's just presented in various ways. For reference I'm almost 26.

I do think my aromanticism affects it. Like I said, there are things that limit my sexual attraction, and my lack of romantic attraction adds to that. I don't have the opportunity to develop sexual feelings via romantic ones.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'm in my mid 30s & I think what I feel is more like sexual desire, rather than sexual attraction, as it's not usually aimed at specific individuals. It began around puberty.

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Not allosexual, but do experience sexual attraction under grey-asexuality. Lithsexual: having attraction but not wanting it reciprocated. I definitely fancy women in a sexual way now and then, but I don't actually want to go through with it.


I don't think I've ever had much in the way of sexual attraction to specific others. It's pretty rare if it ever happens. I did see a muscular woman at work last night and I was like oh hello.... wait I think I'm into this. I'm 29.

I remember exploring sexual feelings as a teen, I even used to like the idea of having sex as some deep emotional connection thing. I just never felt a connection to others in that way back then. 

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