How do I tell the difference between a squish and a crush

[Zoe]

I can not tell if my past attractions to people were squishes or crushes.

I was "boy crazy" for a while, but some of them I could just turn off and go on. Others I really liked them. I would stare at them all the time, be super nervous, and sometimes blush around them. I never thought about kissing them though. I didn't really even think about dating them.

I was in middle school back then, so everyone was dating everyone and I wanted to too. I tried to date some in middle and highschool, but it never worked. I rarely even get these feelings anymore, it's been about 2 years now. As soon as they would ask me out all of the feelings I felt for them were replaced with fear. I just wanted out and felt trapped. I was relieved when they finally left me alone.

I usually didn't even care I'd they rejected me either. The only times I've ever cried over boys was when one told me he only asked me out on a dare and when me and my BFF asked a boy out and he rejected both(I was most likely crying because she was crying).

I have had feelings for girls too. I thought they were super cool and I wanted to be around them all the time. Twice a girl has given me butterflies too. I have tried and tried to want to date girls, but I can never get myself excited. The most I ever get is feeling like I want to cry.

I lose feelings very quickly, something as little as them not answering my text will make me lose feelings immediately.  

Do these sound like squishes or crushes? 

Thank you.

[mewix]

Hmm well in "micro-label" lingo one label might be Post-rubor aromantic someone who loses excitement and interest quickly of crushes/squishes. Another is Lithromantic when you lose interest when desire is reciprocated.

To me though it sounds more like a crush just one that fades quickly as I associate butterflies or nervousness with such but then again some people probably do have slight nervousness to friends making approaching new friends especially if your shy so it might not be so clear cut.

If you can't tell what they are maybe somethin more alterous or mixed feeling. I often got admiration in someone mixed up with certain feelings.

Overall I wouldn't get too caught up in labelling and that. Overall its less about the label and more how you experience and feel it as. 

 

 

[Blake]

Hello there, I would say first that having butterflies can also mean that you where anxious of what could happen with that person. Another thing is that you have to think, "Do I feel like this because I like the person" or "Do I feel like this because that is what everyone around me says they are feeling". Those two are different since you can make yourself have a crush/squish but that doesn't mean it is an actual one since as dar as I know, having either is more of an involuntary feeling. To me is sounds like squishes coupled with a bit of anxiety to what the other person would react or say. I can be wrong since only you know yourself, but that is what I thought. Hope it helps and anything else ask away ^^

[Just a Bear]

the only thing I know that helps is that a squish leads to a desire for friendship and a crush leads to a desire for romance or a romantic relationship.

Edited September 8, 2021 by Ashe.

[hermi1e]

from my experience, they can Feel similar (butterflies, thinking about them all the time, staring at them, urge to be near them) but the Desires are different. basically what @Ashe. said: if u don't have a desire to be romantic with them, then it sounds like it's not very romantic attraction, that sounds more like a squish. however, this is something u ultimately gotta decide for urself, and i cannot give u the answer. 

 

also ik this can be confusing asfuck because romantic and platonic Actions can look similar. for example, i've had experiences where i wanna hold someone's hand or give them forehead kisses and i thought "this must be romantic attraction!" but it was actually a squish. it can help to imagine actions that u consider strictly romantic, like kissing on the lips. tho honestly, if u have to think about it on purpose with effort, it's probably not something u innately want (obv this isn't always true but yea). go with ur gut.

Edited September 8, 2021 by hermi1e