Zoe

I can not tell if my past attractions to people were squishes or crushes. I was "boy crazy" for a while, but some of them I could just turn off and go on. Others I really liked them. I would stare at them all the time, be super nervous, and sometimes blush around them. I never thought about kissing them though. I didn't really even think about dating them. I was in middle school back then, so everyone was dating everyone and I wanted to too. I tried to date some in middle and highschool, but it never worked. I rarely even get these feelings anymore, it's been about 2 years now. As soon as they would ask me out all of the feelings I felt for them were replaced with fear. I just wanted out and felt trapped. I was relieved when they finally left me alone. I usually didn't even care I'd they rejected me either. The only times I've ever cried over boys was when one told me he only asked me out on a dare and when me and my BFF asked a boy out and he rejected both(I was most likely crying because she was crying). I have had feelings for girls too. I thought they were super cool and I wanted to be around them all the time. Twice a girl has given me butterflies too. I have tried and tried to want to date girls, but I can never get myself excited. The most I ever get is feeling like I want to cry. I lose feelings very quickly, something as little as them not answering my text will make me lose feelings immediately. Do these sound like squishes or crushes? Thank you.