Erederyn Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Something that I find myself getting a bit frustrated with from time to time is dealing with amatonormativity from close friends who know I’m aromantic and have said that they accept me and think I’m valid. We’ve had some discussions about what it’s like to be aromantic and generally how the emphasis on romance in society can be harmful, and I’ve explained to them to the concept of amatonormativity and have had conversations on this with them a couple of times and so forth. I find however that they’ll still say or do really amatonormative things, and I get a bit disappointed and hurt. I have to wonder how much time they’ve taken to reflect on and challenge their own amatonormative ideas after our discussions. I don’t necessarily expect my friends to do the work of challenging their amatonormativity, and I get that that would take time (although for some of them it’s been at least 3 years) and energy to change something so ingrained, but I did hope it’s something they’d be more conscious about. So it stings a bit when they continue being amatonormative, especially my queer friends. In a way, it feels like they don’t really accept me. Or at least that they accept me, but not aromanticism, if that makes sense? I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it makes me wonder sometimes how seriously they take it. I’m not sure if it’s worth it confronting them with it, though. Perhaps I have too high hopes that after learning about amatonormativity, they’d become more mindful of it, and I am taking it too seriously. Anyway, have you talked to your friends about amatonormativity generally/have you confronted friends about being amatonormative? Do you find that they try to change their amatonormative ideas afterwards/ do you even hope or expect them to challenge their own amatonormativity? 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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