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Have you experienced arophobia IRL?


Vhenan
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I've seen so many awful comments about aros online. People calling us heartless psychopaths and predators, saying that aromanticism is a curse or a mental illness or that we're just faking it for attention or to justify commitment issues.  Some of it was even directed at me. 
All of that has made me scared to tell people in real life that I'm aro. 


Do you think these comments are just internet discourse, and I shouldn't worry too much about it, or are they something I could actually encounter IRL?

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Not to scare you, but it can totally happen. Maybe that the nature of internet make it more overwhelming on it though. 

I had arophobia toward me irl.

 

That being said, sometimes we are so focused on a corner of internet that it flaw our judgment to speak as a whole. Not saying it make it fake, but there is some discourse you see more here or there. Just something to take into account.

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Internet can be very violent on these subjects because people are anonymous and we don't know them. Hopefully, if you tell people you care about irl, they will express it differently.

That being said, it doesn't mean people you know won't be arophobic. Comments like "you'll find the one someday", "but you will live your life alone", "you can't know for sure", "does it me you don't like me", "so you want one-night stand" (for allosexuals), "you are just afraid of commitment"... Things like that. They won't say it in a agressive tone, but it will be as offensive and invalidating.

 

Now that this is said, people can also have a good reaction. I see people be supportive or curious. You can't really know how someone will react before you come out.

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Oh yeah, plenty of it. Some of it from my own family. They've gotten a little better about it over the years, though.

If you're allosexual you can especially expect to hear a lot of comments about being manipulative or using people for sex, regardless of your actual personality or sex life...

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I don't often come out enough to people IRL for me to say much on the responses I get from people. For me personally its a range of "oh, okay" to the usual "you'll find the right one someday." I've found not enough people even know enough about aromanticism to hold any kind of malicious opinion about it lol.

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Really only ever once in a GSA meeting in high school. I kind of gave them an angry schooling and the day after they came up and apologized to me. They actually seemed sorry and upset they hurt me so we were all good after that! It's not good to pretend arophobia doesn't ever happen, but it doesn't have to turn into some horrible, unsafe situation all the time either.

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