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Drew

Touch Aversion is a Thing, right?

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I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never experienced these things before, but the thought makes me quite uncomfortable. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently and my family just kind of brushes it off. What I’m talking about is hugging, cuddling, kissing, hand holding, close and intimate. I’m fine with hugs from very close friends and family most of the time, other times I’ve asked them to back off which they do mostly. I’ve had other people who expect hugs or just hug cause they’re a hugger. I’ve started setting boundaries with them and it’s quite the experience to tell people to back off. 

It’s just, I really can’t even stand the thought of cuddling or kissing and I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this too. 

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Yep this is a thing! Personally I find that wearing bulky sweaters (when it's not to hot to do so) really helps when it comes to dealing with unwanted family hugs and such, but if you're in a position to safely set that boundary then that's probably better. 

If you're looking for more threads on this topic I would actually check out AVEN sense touch aversion tends to be more widely discussed in the ace community 

 

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Oh yes, I am touch averse as well. It is interesting, because even in cases where it's good for me and I am specifically asking, like, "mom can you rub my shoulders? I think I did something weird with this muscle" I still feel some level of discomfort being touched, even though it's actively helping me. 

My parents adapted to this early on, since I was like this as a child as well, and once I got my aspergers diagnosis, a lot of boundaries like that where specifically brought up and discussed. I had to specifically tell my grandmother, who is naturally more inclined to touch people casually. I got some push-back there at first, but she's adapted now, and remembers not to touch me. Similarly to you, I am ok with hugs in certain circumstances, and one good thing that came out of specifically telling people I don't like being touched, is that they now ask my permission to hug me. And just being given a choice and a moments warning makes a huge difference for me, so I am way more inclined to actually give someone a hug, once this was established. So now my friends and grandmother get the occasional hug after all x)

I really do think it is good to stick with the boundaries, even if it feels weird in the moment. People around you will adapt eventually, and then you will be able to find a much more comfortable dynamic.

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Touch aversion is definitely a thing! I'm really glad I ran across the term online so I could use it to accurately describe myself. I'm exactly like you, I only allow very close family or friends to touch me and mostly in a very limited way. One quick hug is fine but an arm on my shoulder? Please get that off me. Strangers absolutely must NOT touch me. If they do I slide away immediately. It already feels invasive even when I'm touched through my clothes but if it's bare skin I just FREAK OUT. I didn't even realize when it started, it just did. It also has nothing to do with germs since I absolutely love it when a dog licks my face or a cat rubs herself on my lap. I just don't like human beings to touch me and that's just something people are going to have to deal with. The only reason that I let close friends/fam touch me is out of respect and familiarity but I would really rather just have them not touch me at all if they can help it.

Cuddling or kissing is gross to me and I can't imagine myself ever doing that with someone else...unless they're a dog or a cat. I'd be totally chill with that.

So yeah! You're not alone! Touch aversion is real and a lot of people are like us who don't like being touched.

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Yeah, it’s both a mental health thing (related to ASD, PTSD, similar disorders) and an aro thing. It really sucks, because people always act like having boundaries with touch is this huge big bad deal, n like,,,,, no? It’s not a personal offense against you, I just don’t like being touched sometimes/certain areas/certain ways?

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