onpanwa

I never liked the term "squishes" I prefer to call them "friend crushes" so essentially just wanting to befriend someone because they interest you because of their aesthetic/personality/etc. Not sure if that's the answer you're looking for. I always thought a crush meant you like the person romantically so a "friend crush" is the platonic version of that.

Touch aversion is definitely a thing! I'm really glad I ran across the term online so I could use it to accurately describe myself. I'm exactly like you, I only allow very close family or friends to touch me and mostly in a very limited way. One quick hug is fine but an arm on my shoulder? Please get that off me. Strangers absolutely must NOT touch me. If they do I slide away immediately. It already feels invasive even when I'm touched through my clothes but if it's bare skin I just FREAK OUT. I didn't even realize when it started, it just did. It also has nothing to do with germs since I absolutely love it when a dog licks my face or a cat rubs herself on my lap. I just don't like human beings to touch me and that's just something people are going to have to deal with. The only reason that I let close friends/fam touch me is out of respect and familiarity but I would really rather just have them not touch me at all if they can help it. Cuddling or kissing is gross to me and I can't imagine myself ever doing that with someone else...unless they're a dog or a cat. I'd be totally chill with that. So yeah! You're not alone! Touch aversion is real and a lot of people are like us who don't like being touched.