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Grateful for your aroness?

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I've been thinking about this lately. I'm very comfortable in being aro, and sometimes even relieved - both bc i'm not that confused "WHAT AM I??" teenager i used to be anymore, and because sometimes there is seemingly a lot of drama for allo-romantics. But i don't think i've ever felt grateful for it? 

I started thinking about it because i've seen various other people with different labels be grateful for their identity. Autistic people (which i realise isn't a label in the same way sexuality is, but it illustrates my point) being grateful for how they view/experience the world differently, queer people in general grateful for their amazing various communities that they've gained. And that's another thing, I am grateful for my queerness. I identify as wholly queer, and I love it, and I'm grateful for how much more joyful and diverse the world is for me as a queer person. 

Me being aro.... I'm grateful for the community, not necessarily the identity. My aceness is irrelevant, like many aroaces on here i don't really think about that bit much lol. 

I've typed the word "grateful" so many times now I'm starting to forget what it actually means lol. I hope my point comes across ok?? Maybe happy would be a better word. Do you feel happy for your aroness?

idk if this makes any sense lmao sorry folks 

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Posted (edited)

Mmh, well i am not "unhappy" for it. In fact, i am comfortable with my aro-ness.

Past the fact that it has been a huge thing for me to discover the word (less confusion) , I would love it better without the arophobia, amatonormativity and general dickness of peoples (intrusive questions, them doubting you, insults, etc ). Also, romantic drama smell like something i don't need in my life lol

A "classical" romantic relationship (whatever that mean) would not work for me. In fact, even calling whatever relationship i have "romantic" would make me uneasy even if as they are i am fine with them. But despite the fact that i always knew when i was not interested and not giving up (peoples have been insistant, i always gave a firm no), i was (am?) not impermeable to amatonormativity.

So to summarise : i love being aro , but it's not all rainbow and sunshine.

( I could say the same about being non binary maybe, but i feel like it's not really the same. i feel like orientation is my relationship to other peoples and gender is my relationship with myself. Speaking for me there. )


Edited by Leton.

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As you said, I feel like comfortable is a more fitting word for me than grateful. I am very happy and cozy up here on NoRomo Hill but I don't really feel like it's something to be grateful for. It just is. I wouldn't say I feel grateful for being queer, either, even if love it.
Like, why would I feel gratitude for being all these things that are considered wrong? I would never want to change myself because I've fought very hard for who I am now and yada yada, but I don't think our oppression is anything to celebrate. My teenage years sucked major ass because of my queer identities and while the trauma made me stronger, I shouldn't have had to be stronger in the first place!

Having a wonderful aro community is amazing but it's also a result of everyone else hating and ridiculing us, so gratitude for the identity rather than the people seems ill-placed. 

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