Queasy_Attention Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 After years of experience I can now ride the bi-cycle ("I'm definitely bi", "wait no maybe I'm totally gay", "wait no actually am I just straight and pretending?", "shit no definitely still bi", etc etc) with ease. But I think I need training wheels for the aro equivalent, jeez. I'm falling off and scraping my knees over here. Being an aroallo with a nice side of mental illness makes for a rough learning curve... I keep questioning my feelings and wondering if I'm just convincing myself I'm aro because I think it sounds cool or I want another identity-- because I do experience a lot of emotions and impulses that could easily be mistaken for romantic attraction. The good news is that if I take the time to meditate on it and figure out how I feel and what I really want, I come up with the same answers: I feel very strong physical and platonic attraction for people, and those both manifest in certain ways because of my past experiences and relationships-- and no, I don't want a romantic relationship. The bad news is that I have to meditate on it every time it comes up (at least for now-- it's only been about three months since I seriously investigated the possibility I was aromantic.) I want to trust myself, I want to be able to just trust that whatever I feel is some combination of emotions and attractions that have nothing to do with romantic intent, but I'm not yet in the place to do that. I still have to investigate and analyze all my feelings to stop from second guessing myself and worrying that I'm lying to myself, etc etc etc. I guess this is kind of just a vent, but I'm curious to hear stories from people who have been confident with their identities for a long time, particularly people my age (23) or older. What's it like to know you're aro and have that as a consistent through-line in your life? Did you go through long periods of doubt? Do you still doubt yourself? How do you work through that? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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