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I currently label myself as demisexual, but I'm not sure I really am. I'm confident that I'm aro-spec, but I might be allosexual.

Most of the time I feel like the only way I would ever have sex is if I were romantically attracted to someone, since I see them as connected. But, I only very rarely am attracted to anyone, so that is very unlikely to happen. Hence, I label myself as demisexual since I am at least effectively demisexual--since I'm demiromantic.
But the other day.....well, I typed a whole thing out here, but the implied question would really be best for AVEN, so I'll just say I did something the other day kinda allosexual-ish, and now I'm wondering if it's really alright to call myself demisexual.

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I'm allo aro. Not demi, so idk how much help I'll be, though. What's your question?

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It is alright to use a label if:

  • You want to use it OR
  • You relate to it OR
  • It helps you communicate your feelings to others OR
  • It describes how you feel most of the time OR
  • You connect with some experiences of others who use the term OR
  • It makes you feel comfortable/happy/safe to use the term

Remember, asexual and aromantic are not actions ("I did something the other day kinda allosexual-ish") you perform. They are descriptors of how you experience/relate to attraction, and you don't need permission to label your own identity. =)

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3 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I'm allo aro. Not demi, so idk how much help I'll be, though. What's your question?

So I had made myself a secret blog on Tumblr where I occasionally (when I get in certain moods) reblog porn and stuff. Which, yeah, you can be ace-spec and still be aroused by porn, doesn't mean you want it in real life. But one day I was in a mood, and made a post on that blog asking people to message me because I wanted to try virtual sex. I was curious what it'd have been like, largely, but I'm not sure if it also qualifies as sexual attraction.

Generally speaking, I don't desire sex with people, and don't think I'd want it unless I had deep feelings for them. But this is making me question that. Maybe I'll allosexual after all.

(I did delete the post asking for messages because the action goes against my morals.)

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4 minutes ago, questdrivencollie said:

So I had made myself a secret blog on Tumblr where I occasionally (when I get in certain moods) reblog porn and stuff. Which, yeah, you can be ace-spec and still be aroused by porn, doesn't mean you want it in real life. But one day I was in a mood, and made a post on that blog asking people to message me because I wanted to try virtual sex. I was curious what it'd have been like, largely, but I'm not sure if it also qualifies as sexual attraction.

Generally speaking, I don't desire sex with people, and don't think I'd want it unless I had deep feelings for them. But this is making me question that. Maybe I'll allosexual after all.

(I did delete the post asking for messages because the action goes against my morals.)

That's not sexual attraction. Sexual attraction would be wanting to have sex with a specific person. Attraction requires a target; Being curious about sex with any random stranger is just being curious about sex.

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Like @Jot-Aro Kujo said, an attraction needs a target, be it a specific person (ex. crushes/squishes) or a group of persons (male/female/any in between). Wanting or being curious about a theme (in this case sex or experimenting) is totally normal. From my experience, I thought being in a relationship was something I was super curious for years, since everyone I knew who was in one escribed it as the most amazing experience ever. But lo and behold when I was in one, I felt opressed. My curiosity led me to experiment and to gain knowledge of myself, it was because of that relationship that I discovered that it wasn't for me (since it involved romance and I identify as aro). Hope this helps, and there is nothing wrong with you mate, if you want to try something new do it (safety first tho).

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15 hours ago, questdrivencollie said:

So I had made myself a secret blog on Tumblr where I occasionally (when I get in certain moods) reblog porn and stuff. Which, yeah, you can be ace-spec and still be aroused by porn, doesn't mean you want it in real life. But one day I was in a mood, and made a post on that blog asking people to message me because I wanted to try virtual sex. I was curious what it'd have been like, largely, but I'm not sure if it also qualifies as sexual attraction.

Generally speaking, I don't desire sex with people, and don't think I'd want it unless I had deep feelings for them. But this is making me question that. Maybe I'll allosexual after all.

(I did delete the post asking for messages because the action goes against my morals.)

Being curious and being sexually attracted to something are too completely different things. Straight people are often curious about what having sex with someone of the same gender is like and so they ‘experiment’ but, most of the time, they’re still straight. The same thing happens with gay people. Sometimes they discover stuff about themselves, sometimes it just reaffirms what they thought before. Being curious does not inherently mean that you’re allosexual

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