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(Greyromantics) Romantic Relationships


breaddd
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So, I was just very curious about this. Have any of you greyromantics been in a romantic relationship, and how did that affect it? Did you tell your partner about your greyromanticism? How did they respond to that? Anything else that might be significant?

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I've never been in a relationship after coming out of the closet. I nearly got myself into one a few weeks ago, but when I realized the icky feelings weren't going to go away, and I basically shut my (ex) mutual crush out of my life. They're pretty hurt, but I would've hurt them and myself more if we kept going.

 

In the past, I've only told one partner I was overwhelmed by them, and ended the relationship after 3 months. Later on, I only dated people who I only felt platonic attraction to, in hopes of maintaining a stable relationship, or finding a relationship that was basically just sexual friends, but then my partners always wanted more...so I'd indulge them for awhile and then break up with them after a few months, telling them that "I no longer felt anything." Since then I've realized I've been a total jerk and I don't try to date or manipulate people like that anymore. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I've had one crush and it was on an aromantic asexual girl (as in 100% aro and ace) who was romance repulsed. So I never told her, and I've never dated.

 

I thought I wanted to for awhile and I still kind of do, but it turned out that I mostly just wanted a sexual QP relationship and something to pour my energy into. And now I have my vegetable/herb garden (I discovered this morning that chamomile tastes surprisingly good in scrambled eggs) and college and job applications and my writing, so I'm happy.

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  • 7 months later...

I am in a relationship with an allo person and he was totally understanding when I told him about my grayromanticism. He was interested in learning about it and was asking a lot of questions, which I found good because the first relationship I was in the guy (also an allo) couldn't cope with me being grayromantic and we never talked again.

He was very careful in the beginning after I told him (we weren't together at that time) to not do or say anything to overwhelm me which I found really sweet.

It's kind of a QPR, kind of a romantic relationship (still trying to figure that out).

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  • 3 weeks later...

I think mine were all affected by my feelings being generally weak/coming and going/anxiety and depression, and I've had about 3 or 4 boyfriends dump me by straight up ghosting. I'm not sure if my answer would really count, since I only found out I was grey romantic after I split with my most recent boyfriend, and haven't had any interest in anyone since then, so I can't gauge how much difference knowing could potentially make. 

I feel like my first relationship was the only really good one (still had anxiety, but I felt like I had reasons to feel that way, so maybe my discomfort was being masked or mistaken for something else?), and the 'aro seed of doubt' seems to have been growing since then.   

My ex was the only boyfriend I was actually honest with to any degree about how I felt, and he was OK with it because he wasn't afraid of honesty (though understandably a bit worried when I said I kept having urges to break up...)

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