Natkat Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Hello, I am sorry this is long. So, I been thinking if I should come out to more people than those few I am out with now. (Just to make clear I don't want to come out to my family, only friends and such.) Why do I want to come out? I don't know, but in general I consider myself a pretty out person, and laterly the aro thing been a pretty big thing in my life and it feels so odd how that is the only thing I can't talk about when I can talk about Ableism, Racism, Polyamory, Transfobia and so many other topics but keep my aromantism hidden. Also I am currently trying to do more aromantic awareness, like I am making a meet up and writing a book and such. First of all awareness is always more easy when you are out, and secondly it also feels odd when I tell people I am busy yet nobody know exactly what it is I am doing . I kinda just want to talk about it and not feel like I am hidding something from people. Now the first worried I had when I started to identify as aro was that I could not be out because it would mess up my political activisties. I have previously been in the media a few times and considered myself a pretty active activist, so I were afraid that the media and those who were sceptical would find out and "abuse" my aromantism in a way to harm the things I stood for and by that also get alot of enemies who would feel I was a bad representation. however this is not a worry I have now since I arnt really active anymore and in general have decided that I dont have the time for anything that requires alot of energy for anything that involds the media attention (at least not right now.) so yeah, its not really a worry I have anymore, but I am stll worry about coming out. I am paticular worried about being out in the trans-enviroment since I feel its like my second home. I am autistic and grew up in an autistic enviroment but I felt disowned because despite my classmates being mostly cool, being trans was never 100% accepted or normal at least for the adults, and when I go their there I can expect to get mispronounced and called my old names and its all pretty akward. So I feel I lost a part of my comunity for being trans, and I dont feel like losing another one for being aromantic. This is my main worry. Beside that I am really worried on how I should come out. The thing is I dont feel I have a firm label and thats why its so difficult for me to come out to people. Its much more easy when you just say. "im bi" "im trans" and so on. However I dont know where I fit on the aromantic spectrum since I feel its difficult to tell a squish and a chrush apart. I could go from everything as, aromantic, gray-romantic, litroromantic, quiroromantic and so. Mostly I just call myself aro, aro-spec or aromantic or grayromantic but not being 100% sure which label would fit makes it even more difficult to come out. and last, for those few I came out to, I had a few good experience but also some bad. I consider myself allosexual, pretty sensual, open for QP, and if I happent to one day feel I wanted a romantic relationship then so be it (even when I dont think its gonna happent). I sort of feel like with some of the places and people I came out to that there were an expectation that then I dont feel any type of attraction and general I dont want to bond with people at all, which really sucks because that is not really the person I am or the type of signal I want to give people. and its all worries me. So yeah any advice or support would be wellcomed. maybe someone had simular thoughts on comming out? icecream for the people who read this far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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