Gender of squishes

[Chemgirl]

So I'm fairly new to identifying as alloaromantic and I wanted to ask if it was normal to have squishes on both sexes? Even though I'm only sexually attracted to men, almost all of my squishes have been on women. 

[Coyote]

1 hour ago, Chemgirl said:

I wanted to ask if it was normal to have squishes on both sexes?

 

Well, in order to know the answer to that, you first have to take into account that not everyone experiences or uses the terminology of "squishes" at all. See this thread on that. It's a concept that's useful to some, but not everybody.

 

Of the people who do both experience those feelings and label them as something like that -- well, it depend on if you're asking if it's "normal" as in "within the norm" or if you mean "normal" as in "the absolute most common way." If it's the latter, I can't say for sure. I don't think anything like that's been... measured, exactly. But within the norm? Certainly. But if you mean "normal" as in "anything other than this is abnormal"... nah. It seems like it's also pretty well within the norm to have a gender preference in the people you get attached to or hang out with. But in any case -- you don't need to worry about what's normal. There's no stakes to it either way. 

[TripleA]

On 8/4/2019 at 3:07 AM, Chemgirl said:

So I'm fairly new to identifying as alloaromantic and I wanted to ask if it was normal to have squishes on both sexes? Even though I'm only sexually attracted to men, almost all of my squishes have been on women. 

Alloaromantic? What? You Aro or Allo?

[nonmerci]

7 hours ago, TripleA said:

Alloaromantic? What? You Aro or Allo?

I think it was for aromantic allosexual?

 

Now, I don't really have squishes so I can say what's normal or not, but I see squishes as an attraction. So it seems logical that as sexual or romantic attractions, it is oriented. And as sexual and romantic attraction can differ, it seems logical too that your platonic attraction is not necessarily oriented the same way as your sexual attraction.

 

But this is just my understanding. Maybe aros with squishes can be more useful for you.

[Emerald Cheetah]

7 hours ago, nonmerci said:

So it seems logical that as sexual or romantic attractions, it is oriented. And as sexual and romantic attraction can differ, it seems logical too that your platonic attraction is not necessarily oriented the same way as your sexual attraction.

That's interesting point you've brought up. I've found that I only experience squishes on women however why? I cannot say. Platonic attraction is a very confusing thing for me just as romantic attraction is confusing for those who experience it. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I experience squishes on the same sex is because I fear getting too close to the opposite sex. Throughout high school, I only had friends who were girls and I found it difficult to befriend guys. They just kept themselves at a distance from me. I always felt that guys only would come close if they wanted to date me. So could I experience a squish on the opposite sex? I have no idea though sometimes I honestly doubt it. Every time I get close to a guy, I start to fear their intentions with me. I've only ever felt close to girls and therefore felt squishes towards some of them. 

[Madame Giraffe]

On 8/4/2019 at 4:07 AM, Chemgirl said:

So I'm fairly new to identifying as alloaromantic and I wanted to ask if it was normal to have squishes on both sexes? Even though I'm only sexually attracted to men, almost all of my squishes have been on women. 

 

I do think it can be a thing, if it happens to you it can be. 

 

On 8/7/2019 at 7:02 PM, Emerald Cheetah said:

Every time I get close to a guy, I start to fear their intentions with me. 

 

(this is so relatable)