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Introversion, independence, and being "forever alone"


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So I still live at home, but in my experience this heavily depends on who you live with. I'm also a very independent and introverted person, and I live with my mum, sister and recently my sister's boyfriend.

 

My sister recently started working full time but before that and before her boyfriend she was a nightmare to live with. She was the neediest person ever and I felt so suffocated and like she was this giant presence who took over the whole house (still do a bit). This has of course changed recently and I've noticed that I have a really good dynamic with my mum. She's also a very independent introverted person who likes her space, so we both have our own spaces where we can go and we also communicate our needs. So if she's sick of me she can ask me to give her some space and I will.

 

So I think you could manage a roommate if you were both compatible, in addition to having a good living arrangement and negotiated spaces. This is of course getting a bit nitpicky and sometimes I feel like I won't find the perfect living arrangement either but a girl can still dream :)

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On 4/28/2016 at 2:14 AM, LunarSeas said:

As to the living question, I absolutely loved living in a tiny (I mean tiny) apartment inside a house, where the neighborhood bar was basically my living room. I was the kind of person to bring a novel and drink my beer while reading in a noisy bar. I know. xD But I enjoyed having my "den" where I could retreat, but had the option, in walking distance, to socialize if I wanted, or just not be all alone while I read. I miss that. A lot, actually. 

 

Totally yes!! Even 270 sqft / 25 sq.m. feel like a lot to me but good 200 sqft / 18 sq.m. options are gone from the market :(

 

The relatives keep telling me to work more to be able to afford a bigger apartment closer to the city center and potentially fit a partner in, you know the drill... but I want to retire young instead, consumerist haters gonna hate :P 

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3 hours ago, aroMa(n)tisse said:

but I want to retire young instead

 

I know exactly what you mean. Spending tons of cash on a huge space I'll never use will just push retirement out further. It seems like a lot of people around me don't realize this and just buy the biggest place they can afford.

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I'm very introverted and I struggle with depression (and with that comes the self-isolation that some of you mentioned), so a certain level of companionship is very important for my mental health, but not always. I live alone now, but a while back I lived with a close friend of mine and it was such a nice situation. We're both pretty introverted and since we knew each other so well we could sense when the other person needed space. Even better, we could be hanging out in the living room and one person would say "I'll be in my room" and leave and neither of us would be offended or anything. We were okay with being in each other's company until we didn't want company and that was okay, if that makes any sense. In contrast, whenever I visit my parents my mom wants to spend time with me all the time and it's really draining, and if you want your space she gets really upset. And then my college roommate would hang out with me for hours and hours at a time, being super draining, or would ignore me for days on end and that would be really lonely-no in between. So I think it really depends on who you're living with. My friend and I were in sync enough to have a good dynamic going, with enough solitude to not tire each other out but enough companionship to not feel isolated. 

 

As far as an ideal living situation goes, I would love to buy a house with a group of good friends who know each other's boundaries. I really like domestic stuff, but Society tries to make that exclusive to romantic relationships which I think is unfair. I love the idea of making dinner for someone, watching a Chopped marathon while cuddled on the couch, that kind of stuff. I love companionship (in moderation). My best friend and another friend of mine like to play with the idea that one day we'll buy a cottage in New Zealand one day and raise chickens. xD

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