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[TW:sex(ual abuse)] It seems like as if I am the creepiest orientation, transfeminine and aromantic, but not asexual.

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In LGBT++ community, being asexual is seen as kinda a virtue. 

 

There is this treatment of asexual people as if they are constantly having sex shoved down their throats by this sexnormative world, and that asexual people are precious little beans that can never sexually harass anyone, only get harassed by others. With all the talks about "consent" and "harassment", it is easy for asexuals to take the "innocent" stand. 

 

Also feminists hate femininity, or despise it. They perceive feminine women as "confoming to patriarchy", and therefore as a trans woman, I conform to patriarchy simply by existing. Not only that, there is also a view by like, 100% of people that trans women just want to gain access to being women instead of actually being women. Like "man dressed up following into women's bathroom". 


So I am basically a creep just by existing, in intersectionality's terms.

 

Also I experienced childhood sexual abuse, and also got told that I am "bad", "dangerous", "retarded", etc. This is due to neurodivergence, since I couldn't conform to society's rules. Combine the two, and I perceive myself as a sexual abuser. Since bullying by different people was common in my childhood, including victims themselves, I have it internalized that since I was sexually abused, there is also a high probability that I am a sexual abuser myself, when I respect consent and know that this is not true. But I need some kind of label, or a card so I can feel like a normal person instead of a creep. Being asexual gives exactly this, while being a transfeminine aromantic allosexual makes it worse.

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Tbh I'm not sure what you are trying to say but I still want to write something because your experiences sound horrible.
Did someone ever came up to you personally and said you're a sexual abuser? Because you are trans* and not asexual?
Or did you spend too much time in toxic SJW spaces and some random feminist insulted you?
Also, let me get the asexual bit right: You're using the label to feel normal, so people aren't able to call you a sexual abuser?
Did I get that correctly?
Girl, in whichever spaces you hang out, get out of there.
It's not normal to get called a future sexual abuser because of one's identity (or past).
And you shouldn't tell yourself you are or will become a sexual abuser yourself because of a happening you had no control over.
Aromantic allosexuals aren't creeps.

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Oh my goodness I'm so sorry! But i agree with everything @NotHeartlesssaid, you need to get away from spaces you were?are hanging out in. These people sound crazy , ignorant, and stupid. You do not deserve to be treated like this. Transgender people and aro allosexuals are not creeps, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

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14 hours ago, NotHeartless said:

Girl, in whichever spaces you hang out, get out of there.
It's not normal to get called a future sexual abuser because of one's identity (or past).

THIS THIS THIS

 

Trans people are not inherently predatory. Alloaros are not inherently predatory. The ideology you're talking about isn't intersectional - it's TERF ideology, and radfem ideology, and it is toxic and harmful and absolutely not true.

 

The only thing that can make you a predator or sexual abuser is if you choose to sexually abuse someone.

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On 1/21/2019 at 1:11 AM, NotHeartless said:

Also, let me get the asexual bit right: You're using the label to feel normal, so people aren't able to call you a sexual abuser?
 Did I get that correctly?
 

Exactly.

On 1/21/2019 at 3:42 PM, eatingcroutons said:

THIS THIS THIS

 

Trans people are not inherently predatory. Alloaros are not inherently predatory. The ideology you're talking about isn't intersectional - it's TERF ideology, and radfem ideology, and it is toxic and harmful and absolutely not true.

 

The only thing that can make you a predator or sexual abuser is if you choose to sexually abuse someone.

A lot of the self-proclaimed "intersectional feminists" sound like TERFs, but only towards trans females.

 

They love trans boys and how they wear binders and how they are masc as hell and so smol.

On 1/21/2019 at 5:53 AM, Anything_but_allo said:

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry! But i agree with everything @NotHeartlesssaid, you need to get away from spaces you were?are hanging out in. These people sound crazy , ignorant, and stupid. You do not deserve to be treated like this. Transgender people and aro allosexuals are not creeps, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

The radfems haven't directly called me a sexual abuser, I just feel about myself that way because childhood guardians called me a bad person a lot.

 

But people treat sexual harassment and rape with such caution I naturally started getting afraid of who will I become. 

 

Based on how nicely and with cake they treat AFAB people and romantic asexuals, I figured out that there is no place for opposites in their community.

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Alright...can't talk for everyone on here and I've been not a part of this community for a long time yet.
But you're welcome here. Be who you are. I accept your identity absolutely and don't have these twisted views on (other) transgender, be it MtF or FtM.
Or on people who aren't asexual. So, welcome to the forums :aroicecream:.

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Oh. Okay, I just saw this and makes sense with your other questions then. Agreed with others on this thread, you can't be a sexual abuser/predator if you respect it when other people don't give a consent, and you are open about what you are looking for while approaching someone.

 

Being trans and/or alloaro isn't inherently predatory, and if people you are surrounded by is pushing down that TERF/RadFem bullshit on you, then it is likely for better to limit your interactions with them as much as you can.

 

I'm sorry you were abused in such a way as a kid, and I hope you are able to avoid people who abused you, but their abuse doesn't define you or make you something inherently broken/dirty/an abuser- the fact that you actually worry that you might be abusing someone even while trying your damn best to avoid that sounds to me like regardless of the abuse you went through, you still have your heart in the right place. And of course, if that label makes you feel more comfortable with yourself, then that's how you identify yourself as, end of the line.

 

Just please know that there is nothing wrong with being alloaro either, and that you are always welcomed here as others have said 💚

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