AllTalk Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 Hi all, New here, physically and conceptually! I'm a mid-30s female, have always classified as heterosexual ... But practice, fantasy, and attraction don't necessarily align with simply that. I've always assumed that I would just be single forever, have never fantasized of marriage and a family, have not sought out dating relationships of any sort. With the couple of guys I've dated in the past, I've generally just wanted out and away from that awful claustrophobic anxious situation of being emotionally connected to someone. I've joked around saying I'm too jaded and cynical to believe in relationships. I've played the "I don't have time for relationships because I'm focused on my career" card. Close friends and family just know and accept that I won't be making any babies or bringing a significant other to occasions. 99% of the time, I am totally okay with this scenario. But that 1% of the time I ask myself what the heck is wrong (different? missing?) with me? Why don't I have that biological urge to couple up and fall in love and make babies? Why have I never planned my dream wedding or dreamed of a spouse or even just wanted to go on friggen' dates?! I mean, society says ppl date others and want love, so why don't I? (I am aware of the ridiculousness of that statement ?.) Anyways, today is one of those 1% days so I started Googling. I knew asexual was a thing, so I started there. Some nice ppl over on the AVEN forum brought up this idea of a romance spectrum in addition to a sexuality spectrum. MIND BLOWN!! I mean, I really don't think I'm asexual. I like sex and sexy things. In terms of sexual attraction, I'd classify somewhere in the realm of pansexual. But the ability to separate sexuality and romantic relationships is a brand new concept to me! Along with "spinster", "not marriage material", and "voluntary old maid", I've also considered that maybe I'm a slut but just really really bad at it?? ? Really, this potential of "aromantic" is SO much more appealing! So, all the boxes check nicely. I think this one fits. I'm still just hours into my discovery of this option, but so far, it feels good. Looking forward to chatting with you all and really figuring out if this is where I should be. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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