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New and facing facts


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Hello party people. I'm stoked and sorta nervous to be here- I'm working through the realisation that I'm somewhat asexual and quite a lot aromantic, and wondering where to go from there.

 

I've had a few epiphany moments in life. There was the high school girlfriend who I fancied in that teenage way but had no idea how to treat emotionally, the LDR guy I thought I loved but couldn't bear to so much as cuddle with whenever we met up, the man I met through work who I love as a friend and find very sexually attractive but have no desire to 'date', the disheartening online dating spree where every flirt left me colder than the last, and the two ace friends who recently became a couple who I adore and adore together but I just can't comprehend how they can cuddle 24/7. It's only now at 25 that I realise it's time to accept I'm not just picky or shy; I'm fundamentally different from all my friends who are either serial daters or moving in with their beaus and getting rings on their fingers.

 

It's a little scary facing the prospect of being mostly solo forever- no conquests to give you social status, no steady partner to bolster you emotionally and financially, no spawn to look after you in your old age. I'm glad I found this place (through Aven) to remind me I'm not the only one.

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Hi, there. Your "spawn" don't look after you in your old age. They shove you in a retirement home. That has been the case for 50 years, at least, and still people talk about their children taking care of them in their old age as if it were a reality. 

 

Enjoy your time here. :)

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28 minutes ago, chairjockey said:

Hi, there. Your "spawn" don't look after you in your old age. They shove you in a retirement home. That has been the case for 50 years, at least, and still people talk about their children taking care of them in their old age as if it were a reality. 

 

Enjoy your time here. :)

Having worked as a care assistant, I can say this is pretty accurate. Your spawn aren't even guaranteed to outlive you, either. And, to Hell with social conquests via having a partner - carve your own path in life! I'm not aro or ace (more like a double grey of sorts) but I've decided to save for a deposit on a house for myself in the future, and just do my own thing. I find relationships too stressful and confusing to want to be in one long term, so unless I meet someone I really click with and who ticks all the boxes, I'm not gonna bother.

Welcome to this little patch of anarchist heaven!

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Cheers folks. That's a fair point about the retirement home! I'll remember that one. xD Untamed Heart, it sounds like we're in a similar situation. It might happen... But it might not, so we've gotta look out for number one.

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