Holmbo

From this "self help" book I'm reading. I thought other aro's might enjoy it.

In Sweden it's not really a thing to kiss at midnight. We toast champagne and take groupies ?
At least me and my friends do. I can't speak for everyone I suppose.

In Sweden a lot of people never marry. The act itself is not expected. But of course living in a romantic monogamous relationship is what most people strive for still.

I wonder if OP is still asking for suggestions 2,5 years later

Anyway, for those who like sci-fi, The Expanse is very light on romance. There's like one romantic relationship which doesn't take up much focus at all, and lots of other great relationships. Not much sex either (don't let the sex scene in the pilot fool you) The female characters get to be prominent without having to be paired up with the men.

6 hours ago, nonmerci said:

Nano is a good for motivation. Impression that you trier though you didn't write fiction before.

I have passe the point of 10 000 words but I don't think I'll finish it this year. First because I don't have enough with 50 000 words, second because I can't help but wanting to go back because I'm not satisfied. 

I have tried writing before but I would always get stuck right away. So I thought nano would be a good thing to really force me to write. And it did. I wrote more than 4000 words which is much more than I ever wrote before. And I also realized that I'm really bad at imagining characters, outside the pov.

On 11/2/2018 at 6:43 PM, nonmerci said:

Hey everyone! As a lot of people seems to write here, I was wondering if someone was doing nanowrimo this year?

(it seems that people who write novels are a minority here, but who knows)

I tried it this year, but only for six days. It's just so many words. I don't write fiction usually so I thought nanowrimo would be a good way to force me to really try it out. My story was actually aro themed.

On 2/25/2017 at 12:17 PM, Dodecahedron314 said:

Yes, another one, join the clarinet army! 

I'll also join.

On 9/26/2018 at 1:00 AM, November said:

According to the ace community census (https://asexualcensus.wordpress.com/) there are about 60% women and 13% men ...

There went that theory. Interesting that not as many men feel the need to talk about their asexuality either.
Maybe it's dependent on which forums men vs women prefer? For example there are probably more men on reddit, they might write about asexuality and aromanticism there.

2 hours ago, nonmerci said:

If I base my opinion on what we saw in tv shows and movies (and we know that it influences or behavior to some extent) I say that girls talk more about romantic attraction, and boys about sexual attraction.

I wonder if that means there are more guys in the ace forums?

On 9/23/2018 at 9:48 PM, Kürtőskalács said:

 

I live in Malmö!

Väelkommein!

This is a difficult situation and I don't think you should feel bad about giving in to pressure.

I read your earlier post and it seems to me like you are pretty set on not being in a romantic relationship. This sentence stood out for me "They told me a relationship was about give and take, which made me feel guilty because they gave up a lot to be in a relationship with me, like cuddling and frequent physical and verbal affirmations they would probably typically receive in a romantic relationship." I'm in no way a relationship expert but I think the give and take aspect should not be something one does begrudgingly. It's supposed to feel good to give something to your partner, not like a sacrifice.

I've been in similar situations before. My first (and only serious) boyfriend which I dated for a year. I never felt romantic love for him but I cared about him and wanted to experience a relationship. I'd feel guilty about not having romantic feelings for him and not being as attached to him as he was with me. This made me compromise a lot about my own feelings and comfort. After a year I realized that it wasn't what I wanted and I broke up with him. He was devastated, almost suicidal, and clung desperately to our relationship. I wanted to still be friends and he wanted too, but everytime we met he'd feel sad about our break-up and ask for romantic interaction. Eventually I just had to break it off completely. The reason I'm sharing this is as an example that it can be really difficult for Allos to go from romantic relationship to platonic. If you break up you might have to break entirely, cut all contact. I understand that this would be difficult as you live so close to each other and have many friends in common. I wish I had some solid advice for it. All I can say is that I understand what you're going through and I think you should not feel guilty about doing what feels right for you.

I feel like I could never have become anything other than aro. But I also feel like it's part of my personality and we know personality can change. 

In the book Sex at Dawn the authors writes about research of sexual orientation, among other things. It has been shown in studies that in general female sexuality is more fluid than male. Females can acually change from say heterosexual to bisexual over life. While males are more influenced by early sexual experiences. If sexual orientation can change then maybe romantic can too. 

I'm not sure what would constitute an ace song. Which songs have you found in this category?

I'm sorry you didn't get the support you wanted. My mom said something similar to me when I came out. She also said she didn't belive it was a thing ?

Don't worry about being sure. Maybe you will feel different later but if aromantic fits your experience now, use it. For comparison, imagine if a person feels heterosexual but is hesitating to say so because they could be bi, maybe they just haven't met the right partner yet. No one would hold it against this person if they realized later that they were bi, and neither should they hold anything against you. If romance happens to you it will happen, regardless of how you think of yourself. 

1826

@karnzter many of your suggestions seems plays more like breakup songs to me than aromantic. Someone who have been in romantic love but their partner didn't treat them right. Maybe my mind interprets it different. 

So far it's twice as many females. 

But only the respondents so it might not be representative ?

There's an older thread like this one too. http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1245-our-favourite-aromantic-songs/

@karnzter I was only referring to the title. Since I don't speak French and didn't read the translation. 

@karnzter I'll have to take your word about the French ones. L'amour doesn't sound very aromantic

I have one in Swedish then.
Om Sanningen Ska Fram - Eric Amarillo

If we see it as a kinda satire on ideals of romantic relationships. Here is a translation of some of the lyrics:

If I listen when you're talking,
not speaking about myself,
if I say you are beautiful,
but it doesn't matter.
Because beauty is within us,
if I lie about things like that.
If i say things are good,

but don't talk about my work.

If I give you my tears,

but is strong when you are weak

Playing sweet home Alabama,

on a fire side guitar.

If I'm sure of myself
but never too full of myself.
If I'm a alpha in bed,

but never fight.

Would you sleep with my then if truth be told?
Would you sleep with me then, would you sleep with me?
Would you sleep with my then if truth be told?

 

@Silyun I really like Friends - Anne Marie and Marshmello
Thanks for the recommendation.

Maybe some new Scandinavians have joined?

I made a playlist from the songs suggested

I don't really have many suggestions myself as I mostly listen to instrumental music. 
Maybe U + Ur Hand - Pink

 

3 hours ago, KelTheImpossible said:

YMBAI people asked who you first kissed and your answer is "a book".

Which book was it? ?