Blake

10 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

I love early afternoon showers. I grew up through a few droughts, even living in one house that relied solely on rainwater for a time, so I am very water conscious and shower maybe once or twice a week. The shower might be hot or cold, but the luxury is the timing. I just think there is something so nice about the day around 12-3pm that makes 'me time' extra special. 

That sounds fantastic mate. As a environmentalist it makes me happy that people are water conscious, because water is a very important thing we need and not everyone has the luxury of having it as available as some of us have. Thanks for sharing!

On 6/27/2020 at 9:41 AM, Guest Redpanda said:

How would you go about explaining that I am exploring my sexuality without sounding like I'm using them? (which I do not I think, I only meet those that I'm truly interested in). I just said that I am still unsure/confuse to what I am feeling and that I never had crushes before. And looking back, I don't think it was the most accurate thing to say. I don't want to be misleading

I would tell them straight up in the first date that you are exploring dating, and that you want to take it slow to get to know everything about it at your own pace and get to know if dating is for you or not. That is honest, and if the guy is worth something he will understand and won't pressure you. The important thing is that you feel comfy dating. Feelings are confusing, and having crushes is overrated :3 You are not misleading them by any means, it is not your responsibility if they don't understand that feelings are complex and that you are exploring yours. What is important is that you take it at your own pace and don't let anyone pressure you into anything. Hope it could help you.

13 hours ago, aro_elise said:

i've heard that it's pretty common for americans to never leave the country, like not because of money or work or whatever but because they just don't feel like it, and that's crazy to me. 

I have heard this too, and I think like you. I love traveling too and since my budget is kinda limited my preference are cruises (cuz of unlimited food and I just love the sea) and also cuz I can visit more than one place. Only downside is that it is kinda quick, but it is cheaper and "safer" than traveling by myself to a place for the first time.

Hmm never tried gel pens, but I can see the appeal of coloring. If you like it, then keep doing it ^^ for funsies is also a good reason

It is rather simple, what things you do that causes you to feel super great but at the same time, people don't appreciate them as much as they should be.

For me it is cleaning my earwax with q-tips (cotton swabs). idk why but it causes me to feel sooooo good, and my friends don't see at as something that off the world. :3 Maybe it is me, but I just love it.

So yeah, what are your pleasures of life? Be it an activity, a food, drink, etc. I would be happy to know what things causes us that sense of fulfillment and pleasure.

I don't have a lot to go from what you told here so I will thread lightly. First of all, since you know about xe entering in a qpr I am assuming that you are in an open relationship that both of you have spoken about. I guess you both have spoken about the rules of the relationship, so parting from there I do not see that xe did something wrong. Now, if you feel uncomfy you should voice it since I am sure that xe isn't a clairvoyant. Also, it is not bad that you are feeling what you are feeling, after all, you here initially with your bf and that friend has been rude to you. Talk with your bf of why he looked for another relationship and how it would then be the new rules, cuz you do not have to be with that friend also. You are enough as you are, do not think that you are missing something, just open a communication, and if you want that friend to be in the convo the sure, and if not then don't.

Tldr: speak with your bf and ask everything that you feel should be asked. Bf being in a qpr doesn't mean you are missing something, just that now a new player is in the game and you want to know all the whys.

This was as light as possible since I do not know everything from your pov.

24 here. and yeah, most people here are still in high school, which is quite interesting. Younger people already exploring their identity makes me so happy, cuz I didn't have that pleasure. (Now I feel old, but happy nevertheless :3)

Hello there ash li, I am sorry to hear that you feel that way. To answer your question simple yet incomplete, it is normal. But then you have to ask yourself what is normal, and then if normal for me is normal for you, because you are seeing it as society wants you to see it, and that is with one eye blind. You don't have to be normal, normal is overrated. You can be you, and you didn't choose to be aromantic anymore than a flower decided to bloom, it just did. Ask yourself if you want to fight against what you are, or would you rather accept what you are and continue on following the misty road of life. I know that you feel broken, and that you are missing out, but that doesn;t mean that it is completely true, cuz you will miss out whatever the future is holding when you die, or you have missed out the first 4 billion year of the universe :3. What I am trying to say is that it is ok to miss out of things, because we are only one drop of water in an ocean, maybe you will move through some places, but you won't be able to be in all places.

So yeah, it is ok to miss out, because then you can experience things differently. Also, being in a relationship that was toxic is something I can somewhat relate to, so it is ok, now it is over and that is what matters. You can search here about amatonormativity, it may bring you some light. And something that I can tell you is that even though you feel broken, you aren't. You are you, the same way that I am me. Comparing yourself with something puts value in you, and you are invaluable ^^. Cheers mate and hope I helped you a bit.

Firstly, hi!!! ^^ and second, only you can know what label you want and fits you, like @Apathetic Echidna said, there is nothing wrong changing labels based on your experiences. They are there to help you and your brain find something comfy and wholesome for you. Now, let me try to help you by telling you my experiences as an aromantic.

I experience don't experience romantic attraction at all, but I do experience other types of attractions, like platonic, sensual and aesthetic. One of the things that people misunderstand when they interact with me is that my behavior is socially flirty, not because I want it, but because my actions do not go according to what society stipulates it should be for people that barely know one another. So that is something that you should ask yourself. Also, I am speaking as an aromantic, not as a demiromantic, so idk if you want to experience it (by this I mean to develop a with someone a romantic relationship to know how you react) to convince yourself (you should only try to convince yourself not others). This ofc, should be done if you want, and the other person should be aware of the situation,  that you are rightfully exploring your sexuality, there is nothing wrong with that.

For me, I knew I was aromantic cuz I was in a relationship and I felt nothing of the romantically coded activities, and I was told multiple times I did not have feelings, which I do, but they are not romantic ones. You can befriend people because maybe you crave meaningful interactions with persons. We are social animals and there is nothing wrong with that, and maybe that friend can be a fbw, or strictly just friends, that is up to you to put boundaries. For me, every friend I have know that I have no problem having sex with them, but do I do it? nop. I look in a friend someone to be able to be relaxed, and enjoy myself and I see sex as an activity, just like riding a bicycle or exercising, not as a special moment cuz I don't think sex should be high on a pedestal, you can do it or you don't, that is up to you and life will continue either way.

Now if you want to identify with the label demiromantic, maybe you want first a friend, but then want something more intimae with that person. Maybe first they have to be a friend, and have a bond to then develop mushy feelings. Personally I don't so I won't speak a lot of it cuz I don't know it, but from what people say, you will develop feelings for that person after you form a bond, so i guess that is where you should start (if you do plz be safe).

As a scientist,  one experiment is not enough make a conclusion (natural science here, not social science), you should explore different scenarios until you are satisfied with the results. But keep open communications with whoever you are exploring your sexuality plz, you are exploring yourself but that other person is a human too and keeping them in the dark about whatever is happening is at the very least inconsiderate cuz that person may develop feelings for you and it is spending of their time to be with you. Sorry if it was too long, cheers and hope I could help you.

I have rejected people making advances to me by just changing the theme and saying we have to study and keep the conversation in the theme of the study even though I know full well that they are making a "move" on me. I just don't care and they usually drop it at second try of me being "oblivious". People overestimate my mind, they think I am dumb when it comes to feelings, but the reality is that I see what they want and just don't care about it. Not my problem that you thought that we where going to bed with me mate, the test of the zoology class is 100000000x more important than that so suck it up and keep quizzing me with my index cards (mini vent cuz I really wanted to give it a try studying with someone else than my dog but apparently it can't be done without "distractions")

Eight strangers around the world suddenly can share everything they perceive and think and are against an evil organization that want to steal their ability for evil

I wish I could tell you that the feelings you are feeling will pass eventually, but that would be a lie. I feel you, I am not where you are, but I know all to well that dark corner of your mind who whispers that you will never be happy, that you will die alone and ugly and smelly and lots of other things. My words to you are: Even though you righteously feel like you do, do not give up hope. It is ok to not find what you are looking for. But that does not mean all hope is lost. Yes, maybe you will never find that person...but that does not mean that you will pass every second of your remaining life miserable. In your journey you will make friends that won't be romantically involved with you, but you may find those who are. I am aro and pansexual, so maybe this doesn't make a lot of sense to you, but what I do is to say "I have a very open mind" to all my friends. And I do, I really do, but that sentence lets them know that I am not an average person, and that maybe I want something more than friendship. It is not written in stone, 95% time that sentence means that we speak of weird things (ex. how the opposite of a centaur would live; can we mix genetics to adapt humans to extreme climate thus making the liveable planet zone more ample?/etc) but that other 5% means that if we both want to, cuddles may happen/sex/maybe a bit of kissing/ or any other activity that we all want to do. Maybe it won't work with you, but maybe it helps you. I hope it helps you, really, cuz what I say to myself to get out of the dark zone of my mind is that it helps neither my brain nor me to think negative all the rest of my life, let myself think the "impossible" and try to do viceras, hearts ^^ (in spanish is: trata de hacer tripas, corazon). Cheers mate

Banned for not having a profile pic of coffee

Ok, first of all hey! and yes I did read all your post. ^^ I like to read long posts. I will try my best to help you and for longetivity sake I am going to take it by paragraphs

24 minutes ago, stegosaurus said:

i have identified as biromantic and asexual/gray ace for years, and have only very recently started questioning if i could be gray aro as well. this is because i know that i have experienced romantic attraction in the past, but in the past few years, the experience has significantly dropped. it used to feel relatively easy to fall in love, and now i am not sure if i am even capable of it anymore. i don't feel like i just haven't met anyone in the past few years who interests me, it feels like i genuinely am unable to develop significant romantic feelings. i do still have "crushes", but they are not nearly the same as they used to be - they feel very weak and not the same romantic emotion that i have felt in the past, but they are also not platonic. i wonder if this is the feeling that people call "alterous attraction"?

That you have experienced romantic attraction before does not mean that you cannot be gray-/aromantic. What I'm saying is that it is a lot more complex than a yes/no, and you said it too. I cannot speak from a gray pov, since I am aromantic, so I will tell you about my experience. When I had 12 years, I got my first "crush" (now I believe it was a squish) and that moment 12 years old me was convinved that I experience "love" because all the signs where there. Now to the present, when I think about that person now I feel nothing at all, and this is because what I understood that it was love, really was me wanting that person to be with me until we die. But it wasn't romantically, it was because of personality (and a bit of aesthethic). The same moment, but from different times yield different results, because we change how we see things. This is why I believe that you can still be aro even if you have experience love, because is how you are perceiving it at that moment, and it is valid.

56 minutes ago, stegosaurus said:

i am hesitant to identify as gray romantic because most of the aromantic experiences i've read don't match my own. for example, it seems like most aro people don't care for romance or desire it at all; meanwhile, i feel like i do desire romance, love, and a romantic relationship, but i feel like i can't achieve the feelings necessary for one.

Every experience is different, yes it has similarities, but it is not always 100% the same. I am aro and sometimes I wish I could feel romance, because then I wouldn't think I am broken. There are days that I want nothing more than experience "falling in love" because then I could feel normal. But that won't happen, and even though is a little sad, deep down I am proud of not feeling those things. Because I learned that those things that I am missing out, really are not as important as people make them out to be. Also, your experiences will play a role in how you interact with people.

1 hour ago, stegosaurus said:

i guess the bottom line is, i can't tell if i genuinely experience a lack of romantic attraction, or if my emotions are just stunted from something that happened in high school: i fell HARD for my best friend. i can confidently say that i was in love with him, and have never felt the same way about anyone else as i had for him. he didn't feel the same way about me. i don't get into details, but it was extremely painful and difficult to cope with. following that, i ended up in an abusive relationship with someone i didn't even like. it was after this experience that i stopped feeling romantic attraction (for the most part). i've seen some people say that you cannot be aro if you have ever felt romantic attraction. but i've also seen others say that for some, sexuality is fluid, and that some people do experience shifts in their orientations. additionally, i don't think i'm fully aromantic - i think i'm gray. but i am hesitant to label myself that in case i am just emotionally suppressed from the experience.

Ok ok, here is the part I am interested in explaining (not that I wasn't interested before but this is something I know firsthand). Be it that you lack romantic attraction or that something happened that stunted you, you are not less valid nor can't be grey/aromantic. Now, you experienced, what doctors may call an emotional trauma (your friend who you fell hard rejected you) and then you got into an abusive relationship (which further the damage that you had). Both of these events shaped you, and when you got out of the abusive relationship, what happened is that your body did not like those experiences that you had and started a process of coping. What your brain did was block possible emotions related to the trauma (you fell hard for your friend and now your body won't let you do it again with anyone; you went in an abusive relationship and now your brain is not letting you enjoy your current relationship because it is associating it with the bad one). I am not diagnosing you, since I am not a doctor, but as a survivor of traumatic events I understand a bit of how your body copes with traumatic events (again this is fom my experience). And you ca be aro/greyro if you like that label ^^, it is just that, a label and everyone who is inside it shares some things, but we are not 100% the same. You being emotionally supressed has nothing to do with the fact that you want to call yourself greyro, it is an experience that you had, the same way people don't experience romance the reason behind the action do not make it less that you are doing the action.

1 hour ago, stegosaurus said:

here are some reasons i think i could be arospec:

 

 

- i currently have a boyfriend. throughout our relationship, i have struggled to feel romantic attraction to him. i do love him, really! - but i don't think i can label my feelings as romantic. though our relationship has drastically changed and we are very romantic with each other, and i have mostly been comfortable with being romantic with him, my love for him feels more like that of a close friend. we have not seen each other in three months due to the coronavirus. we talk every single day, but without his physical presence, i feel absolutely incapable of experiencing attraction and i have become very uncomfortable with his romantic affection, compliments, and "i love you"s. i don't know if this is normal or not, or how other couples are faring with quarantine and distance. 

- though i know i have felt romantic attraction and even love in the past, i feel almost incapable of it now. when i do have crushes now, they feel weak, not quite romantic or platonic, and i feel like i would probably lose interest in a short time (a few weeks to a couple of months) if we were to start dating. 

- i know that i experience attraction to other people in some way, but struggle to label it, understand it, or distinguish between platonic/romantic, romantic/alterous, and romantic/aesthetic attraction.

- "experiencing attraction that is only ambiguously romantic" may be an accurate way to describe my experiences over the last few years.

All your reasons are valid, but this ones I think I want to tell some things. Firstly, do not force a relationship, this only ends in making the people inside a relationship bad. Do not force something that you are not feeling. I am not saying you are not feeling something, but tell the other person exactly what you think you are feeling. If you think is not romance, tell him. If you think is romance tell him. Whatever you are feeling, make him know how you are feeling it. Your past trauma may play a role in what you are currently feeling (see above) so take it in mind. You do not have to tell your current partner your past if you do not want to, that is up to you. Now if you are uncomfortable with his affection, tell him. You do not have to accept his affection if you do not want to, a relationship is not only affection, it has so much components, that if one cannot be done, then others can be done. Talk to your partner and put rules in the relationship, so both can know the boundaries. Your second point may be because of how your body does not want to go again and have another traumatic experience, so it blocks you from developing emotions toward your current partner. You can work this out, but it will take time and a mental health proffesional to help you navigate your past trauma (That is what it took for me). Another explanation is that you may be grey, and then if you do not have an emotional bond with the person, you do not develop romantic feelings toward them.

For the last points, well I cant help much cuz for me I do not have romantic feelings toward anyone, and I had time to label my types of attraction (I am pansexual so it is a bit easier for me to see someone and say 7/10 aesthetic; 2/10 sensual; etc etc. :3 I see someone and deconstruct the person in my mind and continue doing analysis while speaking to the person until I get satisfied.

1 hour ago, stegosaurus said:

if you actually read my long ass post to try and make a helpful reply, thank you! i really appreciate it, as i don't know any aromantic people to actually talk to about this

As an aro, I love to speak about all sort of themes that people have questions. I may not hold all the answers, but thats why we are a community and we can help one another. Here some coffee and a key lime pie made by me (Insert tasty coffee and key lime pie)

Hello there Feather, so glad that you got yourself figured out ^^ and also that your mental health is better. Hope that your life continues being that good or even better ^^. Here (insert tasty key lime pie and coffee)

Ufff mate this is a rather complex question. Ok, I shall try my best to help you. It is good that you are keeping conversation with T, idk how much you share with T, but I will base my assumption that you have a strong connection (since that is how I am seeing it from what you described). You both have boundaries, that is good, but what interests me is how you described your attachment to sex. I am guessing that sex is something you are doing and is kinda important to you because it is your way of compensating. You feel that you have a strong point with sex, and that if you lose that point, then you are scared that T won't stay with you or something bad happens. Let me tell you something, people have lots of strong points ^^, that you are losing one because of meds doesn't take the rest of you. Yes it sucks that some meds basically take your libido and put it 10 km under ground (I have this issue but this is about you so won't speak about my experiences). 

You can always sit down with T, and say: "Mate, this is not easy for me, but rn I don't think that I can provide you with X, Y, Z, because I am on meds that don't let me provide you with this parts of whatever we are having" Be honest with T, if they want to be with you, it won't be a problem ^^. You talk about boundaries, so you can set up a new one, it can be temporary since maybe the side effects will go away, or maybe they stay. Both cases are fine, and just deal with them one step at a time. Really, if T cares about you, they will understand you, you just have to tell him (cuz thankfully people can't read minds).

Ok, this next part is me explaining how side effects of meds impact sexual life. Skip if not needed.

If you came as ace and aro to T, that is good and T should understand your position (if not then why being with someone that doesn't put effort into what you both have). I am sure as hell that you are attractive af, and I am sure T can see that too, so not providing for something is totally ok, you can work something out with the cards that life has given you ^^. Hope it could help you

Hello again ^^, it is I the coffee addict. So...I am sorry about you having the horrible experience of finding out your friend was arophobic. Well you are better off without someone like that in your life, friends should not judge, but instead help one another. Now, on to the topic of this thread, if you have a difficulty in speaking to him, you can always write your thoughts on paper and give it to him. (I did this with my friends before and they understood me a lot more cuz I am much better at writing what I want than expressing it on the moment) Now I don't have to do this, but that method helped me before. This way you will have a certain degree of confidence in that you are communicating what you want. Now, I would talk to him about wanting something more than friends, but you have to leave clear what is it that you want. Does it include romantic gestures (i.e. hand holding/ kissing/ cuddling) and to what degree; does sex is allowed (yes/no); dates (to what degree); pet names (for me I don't like them but that is me); (insert any other theme to discuss). This is what I can offer, I can give more, but I think that you know him better and can navigate the situation. Cheers, and break a leg (drama joke ^^)

Hey there, so you identify as  aego-romantic/-sexual. That is good, now the beauty of an identity is that it is not explicitly something, and you don't need to fulfill certain characteristics to be able to call yourself something. If you say you are, then you are and no one can say otherwise, because it is your identity. Just wanted to let you know that. Now on the topic, you have to think that attraction is not something that can be defined easily, it has many different elements (here if you want more info about the SAM model which isn't perfect but is a start).

So since you have many elements, it is not straightforward, think of it like a soup: You have water, pepper, salt, veggies, maybe meat, etc. And you don't have the same quantity of salt than of water or meat, you need balance in the flavor, and for that you need to have different quantities. But what is more, the flavor compliment each other, the salt influence the meat it gives it some of its components, and so on with others ingredients. The salt blends into the soup, the pepper too, every ingredient is special because it adds up to the final product. Now think of attractions as ingredients, you may have a loooot of sensual attraction, but almost nothing or nothing of sexual attraction, and maybe a hint of aesthetic attraction. If you see it as separate, you see only a part of it, a characteristic, but if you see it as a whole, you will see that your attraction influence one another.

Now idk about your life choices, or where you live (it may influence a bit of how you see the world) but I know that you can choose what you want to do with yourself. To answer your question, yes being aromantic can influence who you are attracted, but so can other things. You are aro, but you also are ace, and both play a role in what you want for yourself. You know that you don't want romance, maybe not sex either, but maybe you want someone that has x characteristic (they is dorky, attentive, big muscles?, soft heart, has lore of a certain game you love,...,...) and that characteristic can be fulfilled by this kind of person.

Finally, you may not be attracted by a certain gender because of what you think people/family will think, and that is valid because you may fear the judgement of people around you. There is nothing wrong with having doubts, you have all your dear life to discover the whys of yourself ^^ So no rush mate, if you wanna hold hands with x person do so, if you wanna just watch a movie cuddling/no cuddling then go ahead. If you are unsure of what it may feel to do x thing, you can experiment and do it, maybe its for you or maybe not, but guessing what it may feel like will not make you any closer to the answer (just no murder someone please, that is frown upon by society and police may get you and prosecute you and then you won't be here to talk in the forums.) So yeah, long post but if it can help you then yay!

Hello there mate! Glad that you found this site, and being in the closet does not invalidate your identity.  I also like to bake ^^ rn I am learning but someday I will make a key lime pie worthy for all my friends. (Till then they shall taste my sweet horrors). And a lil secret ^^ every bachelor's degree has the same ratio of getting you a job. Every degree is worth poop at the eyes of big corporations, you have to continue to masters or doctorate to do something. What's important is that you do something that brings the passion inside of you to the maximum point, and everyone around you have to use sunglasses to admire you :3 Don't let anyone dictate your worth, or your jobs worth, every position is needed in this society to function. Imagine no waiters? Who will take your order? Or no trash collectors? Who will get those trashcans? The ones that unplug the sanitaries? Everyone is needed, and should be payed the minimum to be able to have a decent life without stress of not having enough to pay rent/water/electricity/etc. And that kind of thinking should not be seen as extreme, because a basic life is what everyone deserves at the least.

That's the spirit. There is nothing bad in feeling a little anxious when speaking about something that you are unsure of. I think you got a great friend. And you can take your time in speaking to him, it doesn't have to be like now, but you should speak to him some time o both of you can be on the same page. That is something important, cuz when we don't speak we let things be interpreted and that leads to misunderstandings. (This may not be the case, since I speak of personal experience but just a caution). As long as you are yourself, that is what matters the most. Let your intentions be known, that is not pushing, it is just speaking what you feel/want and that is ok. And you said it yourself, you accept the outcome, whatever it may be ^^. Hope everything goes great ^^

Hey there mate! No need to feel sorry for your english, it is great ^^. Now on the topic of the thread, if both of you identify as arospec that is a good initial step. This is cuz you know your identity to a certain extent, and that is awesome ^^ Though the part that piques my interest is you feeling something for him. This is because there are more than one kind of love. It does not have to be romantic so it is a relationship, you can be in a qpr (queerplatonic relationship) and be happy in it.

You are special to him, at least how you describe it it sounded like it. I wouldn't be with someone that I know 4 years if I didn't like that person, so yeah you are already special. What you should ask yourself is if the rules of the relationship where defined by both, that is very important. An example I can give is the arrangement I have with a very very dear friend, they do not like being called by certain titles, and I don't, not even joking cuz that is a boundary, and they know that I do not like to be waken up, because I had some experiences that basically makes that action very bad for me (and I have insomina so any minute of sleep is precious). See? you don't need to be in a relationship to be special. It is the small gestures that makes a moment special (that is what I believe) and I think you are already special to your exbf.

Now, you cannot assume what the other person is thinking. That is something I learned the hard way, you have to ask him what he is willing to do and what not, that way both can be on the same page. Do not let chance and misinformation destroy the bond you made with him. I am not saying you both have to go back to being in a relationship, just that I think that if you want to continue being friends, setting things like boundaries and talking will bring to the table the topics that should be spoken.

Another important thing you have to be ok with yourself first, then be ok for him. You cannot control the feelings, but you can speak them out mate, tell him how he makes you feel special, tell him the reason. Leave clear your intentions, do you want to keep being friends? cool, but if you want something different you should tell him and see if something can be done from both parts. You don't have to understand his feelings, its theirs, but you have to understand yours if you wanna know a bit about yourself. Self discovery should be the first step, since if you don't know yourself and what you want, you can end up hurting people and yourself too. Don't be sad, it is not your fault not theirs, is just the circumstances that lead toward an ending, be it A, B, C. You cannot control the rivers path, just enjoy the ride and do what you can with it ^^

INTP. I knew it before taking the test, but taking it further proves it. Idk how trustable is an internet test but its fun ^^

On 5/23/2020 at 11:33 PM, Qim said:

I'm also completely indifferent about sex; I'm not repulsed by it, but I can live without it, it's unimportant to me.

^ I think this is very important for people to understand. That there are people that just...can live without having sex and enjoy life jusst the same way anyone else does. (Bit of a rant here) It is so annoying that people think they are entitled to know parts of my life just cuz they can. It is my life, and I do whatever they (insert bad word) I want with it. It by no means affect your life so shut the (insert  bad word) up and leave me alone. If I am having sex, it is my business who I am having it with. If I am not having it, it is still my business.  Right now, it has been over a year the last time I had sex, and I haven't died nor I think I am losing anything important in life. (end rant) Like Quim said, it is unimportant to me. Maybe I will have it in the future, but that is up to me and the other part who would be involved to decide.

Also I would like to add (this is more of intersection between sexual attraction and meds), for those of us who take meds: antidepressants; anxiolytics; antipsychotics. They do affect how we feel sexual attraction. I do not have a study that correlates them specifically, but from my personal experience I can speak. Getting aroused was easy before being on meds (I could focus on an image and maybe I could start getting in the mood), after I started taking them, my libido is 10km below ground (I had to really put effort in it and the outcome was so little that I just got tired and stopped trying). When changing meds, my cleaning weeks (1-2 week of not taking meds so I can change from one antidepressant to the other) I got my libido back, and then it dropped again 2 days after starting new med. And the combination of meds, is not something pretty but I am fine with it since it keeps me alive. So I guess that what I'm saying is that doctors don't tell you about the secondary effect of basically losing your libido when taking meds, and it may lead on taking life from a different perspective. It is not bad, not having sexual attraction, it just means that we can conquer the world easier :3 (also that we are dragons)

Edit: I forgot to mention why it happens. Ok, a bit of anatomy and science. If you  have a male body, the penis gets it's erection because of the increased blood flow, so what the meds do here is (not every drug is exactly the same way but the concept is similar) regulate your blood flow and levels of some neurotransmitters (serotonin) and hormones (dopamine). So when you think an image that makes you aroused, your brain see it and treats the rise of blood pressure as something that should not happen so it kinda blocks it, but since it can only block some and not all, you still get an effect, but not the one that originally could have happened. For the female body is basically the same effect, but the blood pressure doesn't play a huge role, what plays the role is that the brain blocks rises of dopamine levels, and this leads to the brain shutting the body of arousal. So yeah, this is a lot more complex but this is somewhat the gist of what is happening

Welcome mate, it is great that you joined in ^^ hope we can help you discover your label. You got some ice cream, so here some coffee (insert tasty coffee)

Ideally, 3 or more persons not sharing the sleeping space. But it is because I have insomnia and basically can't sleep with anyone nearby, cuz I wake up at the slightest of sound/movement nearby. I have tried sleeping in the same bed with someone but it is not a pleasant experience for me since people move a lot when they sleep. Also I have certain rituals that help me sleep and I do not expect someone that wants to sleep with me to do (I need to have a constant sound like a/c or fan all night to damp the sounds of animals at night; I absolutely cannot have sunlight in the bedroom before I wake up or when I wake up it is like I haven't sleep at all; and some other things). Basically I am not an easy person to sleep with and I know about it so I prefer to sleep alone. But if I can share the house with other persons it would be great cuz then more people to hang out, split rent, split food, etc. Also I like the idea of everyone having their own space to hoard their things (like dragons ^^).