Cassiopeia

birds

(I have been doing a research on how animals do sex/romance, and....

I guess it could be worse. We could be birds.)

You do, effortlessly. And you get way to comfortable with your perfect score, and you forget how to study, and loose all motivation to succeed. Or never learn how to study in the first place.

I wish I would see the possible paths of the future.

You could fly, but you will consider it a sport and end up being too lazy to actually do it.

I wish I could concentrate on stuff that really matters and pursue my interests without having to worry about the material stuff.

I STOPPED USING IT FOR THAT REASON. I'D USUALLY GO WITH "PEOPLE" OR "FOLKS"

ANYWAY, THE VIDEO GAMING SCENE CAN BE AWFULLY SEXIST SOMETIMES, THAT'S ALSO A REASON WHY I NEVER REALLY GOT INTO IT.

On 2016. 04. 08. at 4:28 AM, Cassiopeia said:

Also Shane from the L word. She might not be full-on aro, but I think we can say she is on the spectrum.

She was definitely aro-coded.

Anyway, not exactly a positive role model, I can thank this show for half of my aro identity related insecurities.

I have just started to rewatch it. There is no way she is not on the aro spectrum....

3

33 minutes ago, Zemaddog said:

BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO COPY THE ART STYLE OF THE ORIGINAL EMOTICONS[Q] IF YOU WANT TO MAKE EMOTICONS, WHY NOT MAKE THEM YOUR OWN[Q] IT'LL GIVE THIS SITE MORE ORIGINALITY AND IT'LL FEEL MORE... OURS, IF THAT MAKES SENSE. ANYWAY I'VE BEEN COMPILING A LIST OF EMOTICONS THAT PEOPLE IN CHAT HAVE SUGGESTED, SO IF YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU THAT, I'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TOO.

WELL I GUESS WE HAVE THAT ORIGINALITY NOW, AS THEY ARE SO BLOODY BLURRY ON THE PHONE...

ANYWAY.

YES PLEASE. ALL THE IDEAS.

AND NOT TO ME, TO THE GENERAL SUGGESTIONS FOLKS, SO PEOPLE CAN SEE THEM, DISCUSS THEM, AND TOGETHER WE CAN DECIDE WHAT WOULD BE NEEDED, WHAT WOULD PEOPLE ACTUALLY USE.

On 2016. 06. 28. at 3:55 PM, aihpen said:

I GOT A "NEW" PHONE ("NEW" MEANING NOT AS OLD AS MY OTHER ONE, NOT ACTUALLY NEW) AND ALL THE EMOTICONS HERE SUDDENLY LOOK DIFFERENT  THE ONES THAT WE ADDED LATER ON () ARE ALL BLURRY,

I KNOW•••

THAT'S MY FAULT, I'M TRYING TO FIX IT. PIXEL ART IS HARD, AND SO IS TRYING TO MIMIC SOMEONE ELSE'S STYLE AND COLOURS WITHOUT THE PALETTES THEY USED•

I'LL TRY TO TINKER WITH IT LATER ON, I WANTED TO MAKE SOME NEW ONES ANYWAY•

13 hours ago, aroMa(n)tisse said:

 

THERE SHOULD BE LIMITATIONS ON THE USE OF THE QUESTION MARK IN GENERAL. TOO OFTEN, I SEE IT USED IN AN AFFIRMATIVE OR NEGATIVE SENTENCE THAT THE AUTHOR IS JUST NOT TOTALLY SURE OF. I WONDER WHERE THIS FASHION OF QUESTION MARK USE CAME FROM.

iTS SARCASM AS WELL, WHEN THE AUTHOR PROMPTS THE READER TO QUESTION THE CONTENT•

AND I WILL USE THE BIG DOT TOO•••

I'M BACK TO THE SHOUTING THREAD. YESSS

9 hours ago, Nightnurse said:

A million dollars, but you can never read a book again.

I'm dyslexic so it's a pain in the back anyway. I'll listen to them... win/win

A million dollars but you may only talk for one hour a day for a year.

I read fanfics, but I don't ship stuff like people would usually do.

I don't have OTPs, everything is fine as long as the characters are realistic together, and there is enough connection in the canon or created in the fic. I like fluff, smut, pwp, depending on my mood, but I usually end up with the former two as fluff gets way more lovey dovey than sensual. I tend to interpret romantic content as deep friendship or if its heavily shippy, as bad writing. (It's not necessarily actually bad, but because the emotional part feels so alien, in my head it gets filed under 'exaggeration')...

I'd go for fandoms that are either poly af like Sense8, or where the romance is kept very subtle like in Star Trek. I don't like reading about jealousy, s/D dynamics, cheating dramas, the out of the blue demonisation on exes (or the canon love interest) in order to solidify the main pair. Those are not just alien but also creepy.

The fetishised grey romanticism is also a cringe worthy thing writers like to use to emphasise the intensity and importance of romantic feelings. (I have nothing against grey romantic people, I just don't like when it's implied that aros should be fixed and one will turn into a whole different person once Their True Love walks through the door. It's the same nonsense as when bi/pan people are suddenly 100% gay or 100% straight cos They Found Love. Dafaq?!)

And then there are the damn soulmate AUs with the connecting red strings, count down tattoos, colour blindness, and the rest. I'm not sure if these were meant for lovesick teenagers or adult alloromantics like them as well. Anyway, not really my cup of tea, I never really understood it, its just eww or meh depending on how it's done.

Yeah, it's a mine field. I quite often tend to look for the smut or poly themes. Half of the aromantic and QPR tag is written by alloromantic aces, so it usually gives me the exact opposite of what I'm looking for. 

Clea DuVall

10 hours ago, UncommonNonsense said:

We've all seen stories and shows that feature an Aro character.  And most of them are undeniably cringe-worthy.  

Mostly, that's due to certain incorrect ideas that romantic society has about people who don't experience romance, romantic drives, or romantic idealism.

 

Which of these really chaps your hide?  Which bugs you more than the rest?

When people fetishize greyromanticism? You know the trope with the guy who has never been in love, was a heartless womanizer, did not care about romance, and the The Girl appears...and he starts seeing colours, his life is fixed, his personality changes...and doing so while throwing all arospecs under the bus.

Anyway, its quite triggering for me, as it can lead to the deepest pits of self hate for aros. I stopped reading fanfics due to this phenomenon.

Nah. Bad hygiene is yuck.

You get a million dollars, but you have to live in the poorest country in the world, you have to keep all of it in the local currency and you can only shop locally?

This isn't something I have really thought about. I guess when you experience something, you don't really talk about it or try to vivisect it to see how it works, just go with the flow.

For me there is the "hmm nice" type of attraction, that happens quite often. Its not really attraction in a sense of it being an intense pull or an urge to engage in anything, more like recognition. Its kind of like aesthetic attraction, I just acknowledge the fact that the person is hot. Certain body parts do attract my gaze, but usually its not hard to keep it civil at all. It is attraction, I do want to look at hot people, but it can be super awkward if its unwanted or in the wrong situation. Suggestive eye contact? Okay. Randomly staring at someone's parts? Nope, try not to, cos its embarrassing, creepy, distasteful and rather pathetic thing to do.

Quote

In particular, is it common among those aro (gray)sexuals who do experience the spontaneous form of sexual desire to actually visualize a potential sexual contact with the other person, as opposed to just admiring their appearance and behavior?

Nah, not really? Not like that anyway in my case.

I don't really fantasize about irl people at all? More like general scenarios, stuff I wanna try, but with made up fantasy people? But not like "hmm, there is this hot person in my friend group, I like to imagine that we do X things". That is kind of weird? Objectifying? Anyway, it would feel gross.

Quote

Speaking of responsive desire, what exactly triggers it in you (gray)sexuals?

There is the "could do" type of attraction, as the "hmm nice" escalates. This usually includes some sort of indication of mutual interest, sexual chemistry, enthusiastic consent...its like a multi-person dance performance.

Its hard to describe, as this is mostly body language, mood, and intuition. From this on usually its seduction, and I get new ideas as we go along. 

I can't really separate this type of attraction from sensual attraction. For me there is sensual desire on its own, but if we talk about sexual desire, I always want the sensual stuff as well. I can't really have sex without cuddling and hugging anyway.

But it does not start with just looking at someone and instantly having an intrusive thought about them in a sexual context.

This still isn't an uncontrollable urge, more like something nice and slightly tempting I can resist if I want to do so.

For me fetishes will not make somebody suddenly attractive, the whole phenomenon is more like those multiple charisma points by 2 items in RPGs? So an unattractive person having some of these things on is still meh, whatever. But others do go from hot to hot damn...its just the cherry on top. But its still great without the extra thing.

Does this answer the question?

Not a problem, I'll just buy a huge piece of land and grow some food together with my friends. I'd take it.
 :is a goddamn hippy at heart:

You get 1 millon dollars, but you can only shop online?

I'll just ban myself for epic fail of an attempt of sarcasm then.

Banned for bullying Zema and calling him dirty.

• "you are just playing hard to get"  (@unwanted suitor)

Consider this: I do not want to date you. When I say no, its not a game. Its not code for 'convince me'.

• "I you can't get a relationship, maybe just try having casual sex, the Feelings will soon follow." (@motherly advice)

I kid you not. I got this exact advice when I mentioned my general frustration with the impossible quest of looking for a QPP/intimate friend/non-romantic companion in an amatonormative society. (I did not use the terminology, but I explained the concept). Wow. Brand new information. Guess what, alloromantic people are likely to follow you around like lost puppies if you touch them in an intimate manner...that's why I generally avoid doing so.

Its just hilarious that alloromantic people expect us to be socially inept and completely oblivious to the workings of a romantic relationship. Its not like the school system and the media spoon feeds us romance since infancy or something. How would have I, the naive aromantic adult, figure out how to attract a (completely unwanted) suitor?

Is it true that people can't help falling in love? How does that even work for alloromantic people? Is it quick? Is that love at the first sight really a thing?

41 minutes ago, Rising Sun said:

You should go to France if you want to drink under 21 / 18, it's theoretically illegal but people don't care, when they don't sort of encourage it LOL. Kids start drinking at 12 or 13 and are initiated by their own family on holidays most of the time !

That's true about the majority of south Europe, cos when wine making is the family business, its not seen as a recreational indulgence but as tradition and an art form. The culture is a bit different.

35 minutes ago, Simowl said:

I used to think grape juice was wine when I was a kid. I remember seeing it in the fridge and being scared to drink it...

I was introduced to the real deal quite early, fruit, juice, and the whole production process and all, so I don't think I was ever scared by it. I was more disappointed by the bland store bought grape juice. (Not that we had it often...home made cordial ftw.)

@aroMa(n)tisse well, non alcoholic wine is the unfermented grape juice. All wine is grape juice...(except for the very bad ones, but those usually are a quality that may cause blindness so lets not talk about those)

But 'tastes like wine' is kind of a vague concept, as there are lots of varieties. I'm by no means a pro wine taster, but the differences are quite distinct.

Yes, I like wines, ales, cider, vodka, cocktails...I don't drink much, as for me it is a part of the gastro culture, and not a tool to knock myself out. I guess its a cultural thing, some dishes just have to be paired up with wine (and fresh bread), otherwise its just not a proper meal.

I also consider cocktails a type of dessert, so I usually have only one of them.

I absolutely love hugs and cuddling.  Kissing is not so straight forward.

Kissing anywhere but the mouth is great. On the lips I like short kisses, and french kissing is okay, but but after a while, I'd probably move on to kiss her neck or start biting her lip or something. It just gets really boring after a while.