Cassiopeia

I HAVE TO STOP BRINGING WORK HOME WITH ME.

15 hours ago, Blue Phoenix Ace said:

Going out on a date is a bit like going out with somebody you barely know to talk one to one. For some people, this is very difficult. It was for me at one time. But, the more you do it, the better you get at it. I got my experience through both dating and meeting with clients for my business. Just realize that you have nothing to lose (as long as you feel safe).

Yes, the shyness gets better. But being visibly queer/passing as such in a public place in that context is tough and scary. Especially for women and people who pass as women.

Like really scary. You get the homophobic micro aggressions and the objectification.

When people think of your identity as a porn category, and treat you as such, its both creepy and infuriating. Even if its not a date, just a coffee with a friend, I don't wanna have men twice of our age walk up to us and ask if they can watch?!

I have no idea how homoromantic aces and ace transwomen deal with this, especially if they are sex repulsed. This must be a lot worse for them.

For me it depends on the context.

I'd separate PDA  (public displays of affection) and PF (public foreplay).

A couple on a dinner date, stroking each others hands, making lovey dovey eyes: PDA.

A couple in a bar making out while rubbing against each other, hands in each others back pocket: PF

I'd say there are places where these things are appropriate, and there ones where its not. I am not sex repulsed, but if I see PF on the damn bus, I do find it gross, its code red. If they do the same thing in a gay bar, where sexuality is one of the key concepts, its yellow/green.

If there is some PDA during a lantern lit midnight boat tour, its yellow/green, if they do it while grocery shopping at 10 am, its red.

But the fact that I find it okay, it does not mean it does not repulse me. That's like two different things.

11 hours ago, Vega said:

YEAH, THAT'S TRUE. HARD TO FLIRT IF YOU HAVE TO SHOUT AT EACH OTHER. 

I CAN'T FLIRTY NO MATTER WHAT, BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO MAKE SOME FRIENDS.

BUT YEAH, IT WAS FUN.

common word

YEAH, I DIDN'T HAVE HIGH HOPES. YOU DON'T REALLY FIND PARTNERS IN THESE EVENTS ANYWAY... MAYBE FOR BATHROOM SEX, BUT THAT'S NOT MY CUP OF TEA

(I WAS STILL HOPING, BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T REALLY TALK WHEN ITS SO LOUD.)

American Horror Story is great. The main focus is how people mess up their own lives, so there is romance, but its not cheesy. It has some weird black humour, some like it, some do not.

Sense8 is quite interesting and action packed. There is like one episode with Wolfgang and Kala, but they are easy to skip (its netflix anyway). I was hoping that Kala would turn out to be aro, I mean this was directed by gay transwomen, they are good with representation, but unfortunately not. Anyway, still a good one.

edit: just that you know, both shows are quite sexual.

SO I WENT TO THIS LESBIAN PARTY. IT WAS ALL RIGHT I GUESS.

SUMMARY:

• THERE WERE LOTS OF CUTE GIRLS
• ALCOHOL+ESTROGEN MAKES ME WILD
• OK, I'M GAY AF ANYWAY, I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DRINK TO GET TO THAT STAGE
• GOT GROPED BY THIS ORANGE FACED MILF WITH THE WEIRD CURLY HAIR???
• SENPAI NO.1 DID NOT NOTICE ME
• SENPAI NO.2 HAD A GIRLFRIEND
• WHATEVER
• HAD A RANDOM AROMANTICISM 101 TALK IN THE LADIES TOILET?
• LESBIANS ARE SINGLE OR MARRIED WITH A MORTGAGE AND 22 CATS, THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN
• BUT SERIOUSLY THEY MOVE IN TOGETHER ON THE SECOND DATE
• WHEN LESBIANS GET COUPLEY, ITS INTENSE
• WHY CAN'T WE JUST BANG LIKE GAY MEN WOULD?

18 hours ago, Spud said:

Also, it may seem a little odd, but I always want someone to like me romantically, but when it happens, I get uncomfortable. And I don't think it's because I'm lith or anything because it's not for one specific person, it's just in general. Maybe it's just my brain misinterpreting what romance is and mistaking "liking" me romantically for just liking me platonically until it actually happens?

I guess everyone likes their ego stroked? What's not to like? You got someone obsessed with you, wanting you as you are, all their attention, their compliments, their adoration. Its hella satisfying for a while.

But it can get really annoying as well, like having a human puppy following you everywhere? And if they start saying overly romantic stuff, trying to win your affections...

FROZEN OR TOASTED, DO NOT WANT

Underwater. I always wanted to be a mermaid.

WYR have extra finders or an extra toes?

@aihpenI'M NOT SURPRISED THAT YOU KNOW THE BOOK

YEAH, ITS ONE OF THOSE NOVELS THAT SPEAK BOTH TO A CHILD AND TO AN ADULT, BUT ON A VERY DIFFERENT LEVEL. I LOVE IT, ITS JUST SO HONEST AND REAL

wobbly chairs.

WYR have a disabled pet or a very old one?

4 hours ago, Vega said:

 

BTW, ARE YOU NAMED AFTER THE CONSTELLATION, THE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE, OR SOMEONE ELSE? 

THE TORTOISE THAT IS ALSO MY PROFILE PICTURE, FROM A THE BOOK MOMO. ITS A FANTASTIC BOOK, READ IT

2 hours ago, Spud said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

THIS IS GREAT WORK, CASSIOPEIA. KEEP IT UP.

IT'S NOT MINE THO. HIS NAME IS CARL WARNER AND HE IS AMAZING

23 minutes ago, Dodgypotato said:

GLORY TO CAPSLOCKIA! WHO SHALL I PAY THE TOLL TO, ALMIGHTY BORDER POLICE?

 

@OPTIMISTICPESSIMIST CAN I PLEASE SEE THE FOOD FIRST?

TO OUR KING, XERCES BLUE.

WAIT A SEC, I THOUGHT CAPSLOCKIA IS FOOD???!

11 hours ago, DannyFenton123 said:

Love my family, but I've had it up to here with the number of times they've tried to convince me I'l marry some butcher and stop being a vegetarian. Apparently ideal boyfriends aren't supposed to respect your differences, but instead tear them down until you're just exactly the same.

 

I actually lost my temper over it: I kind of ended up saying, 'No, I won't!' and then storming off

I get this from the distant, but really traditional, countryside part of my family. Not sure how to tell them I already eloped with a handsome bucket of greasy pork gelatin about ten years ago.

Also, the "you are such a wonderful cook, your husband and children will be so lucky to have you" discussion. Wut? Really?

I don't even know where to start. Usually, I don't even argue, because I know its pointless, and also try to avoid eye contact with my siblings, cos the shrieking laughter would be hard to explain.

Anyway, I see them like once in every four years, for only a couple of hours, so...

Yeah, it is overdone, and its a trademark thing for a major site, so...

The one we have now is nice

Is there an ice cream one? That would be amazing

Most of the  jedi order in Star Wars? Like the whole non attachment thing is the norm because its so common.

Wait, its not meant to be the rebel alliance thing? What's next, the cake is a lie too?The ice cream got salmonella?

I guess its my inner geek, because I just totally accepted, that yeah, on this site we don't like stuff. We are in alliance with each others rebellion? Okay, nevermind

Btw how about using something like this

Or is it too facebook?

Well, if you squint its even aro themed?....She probably says it ironically, but whatever.

(Just that you know, there is something like a very mild, PG13 fight/orgy in the video? But also there is a cake fight? I guess that would be the closest to an equivalent, so we can say kinda there is something for everyone, whatever floats your boat...)

yum

blue cheese?

22 hours ago, Epicfailingagain said:

Possibly. I think it's more common than you'd think. I also don't think it would necessarily have to be a bad romantic break up either. Like, a family member just died? Or something else emotionally but not romantically traumatic happens? That could take away your alloromanticism for a period of time. I thing long term caedromanticism is fairly rare and would most likely be brought on by a toxic relationship post breakup, but short term caedromanticism is not called that, because the word is not in the mainstream vocabulary, but is still widely a thing. 

By the way, is there a thing like a romance libido? Like in case of sexuality, the libido switches off if something like depression hits, but it comes back if the issue goes away. And if romantic libido is a thing, then when is it orientation and when is it just the lack of desire? I'm not trying to nit pick, just curious. Someone please explain 'cos I have no idea how this works for alloromantic people.

But yeah, the concept isn't exactly new to me, I think maybe two years ago I have watched this video documentary about a couple who were both aroace due to a trauma (two separate events). It was using a fairly simple language so nobody was talking about qpr or using any fancy latin terminology, but they seemed very content with each other.

13 hours ago, omitef said:

Usually, I only see trauma brought up to invalidate queer identities, like, "oh, so you're only lesbian/ace/trans/aro because you were abused as a kid." This is the first time I've seen trauma brought up as a part of identity.

I think its really important to be accept these folks to the community and not to silence them. Its a silly concept that everyone with the same orientation has to conform to some cookie cutter, elitist gold star standard to be an authentic person. That's not how life works.

hang out

banned because your blues don't even match. like all three of them different?

WHY DO PEOPLE THINK 'CIS' OR 'ALLO' IS A SLUR?