Cassiopeia

You have one, and because no-one else can see it, people stigmatise your unresponsiveness, so they put you through tests and endless theraphy sessions that occupy most of your free time. It gets more and more overwhelming, so you spend most of your life isolated in a bubble.

I wish I felt more creative, I just have an art block recently and I miss the satisfaction of creating something new.

sugar

fizzy

49 minutes ago, cute kitty Meow! Mewo! said:

altho, movies about two people in a romantic relationship I am fine with, as they are often more focused on other things. such as jenny's wedding, which is definitely a coming out story before anything else.  

Yeah, its really strange. Like I absolutely love love But I'm a Cheerleader, and it does have romance. But the focus is on the discovery of her sexuality, ridiculing conversion theraphy, and loosing her family in the process and finding a new one. There are a few squick worthy scenes, but the rest is brilliant.

and this too. (tw. drugs, alcohol)

Its basically the same topic as aces having sex for whatever reason.

Some aro people who date perhaps like the physical affection, perhaps the attention, the sex, the emotional intimacy, etc. An aromantic person is fully capable of performing to the standards of romance (I have done so myself), but perhaps has to remind themselves how to act around their person. I'd consider a cupioromantic person still aro (or greyro), the same way as for example lesbian who does full service sex work and has male clients is still a lesbian.

If you are not romance repulsed, it does not distess you in any way, and your partner is cool with you not having romantic feelings for them, then why not?

Youtube's comment section is a lynch mob with perverted imagination and homicidal urges. The average vlogger would do anything for money, melodrama and views.

spinach

SO MANY GHOSTS AND ITS NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN ANYMORE. 

cone

doctor

Yeah, whatever, the phone has a calculator.

A million dollars but you can only stay awake for four hours each day. You can choose when to wake up though.

24

still life

lizard person

6 hours ago, Mark said:

The primary focus of AVEN is asexuality.

With aromantic asexuals being in a minority within the asexual community. Similarly aromantics are a minority within the LGBT+ and straight communities.

I know. It was a reply to @Saaaro's rant about aro aces not fully understanding the alloaro perspective.

What I was trying to say is that just because someone is part of this or that  part of the alphabet soup demographic, it does not necessarily give them an insight to the perspectives and struggles of some other parts of the community. To them, asexuality and aromanticism probably is quite hard to separate. If you have no sexual or romantic attraction, you have no way of telling what goes into what category-the same way romantic sexuals quite often can't apply the split attraction model to themselves.

And being lgbtq+ does not give you an automatic cleansing from amatonormativity and/or other stereotypes, so people may have said something upsetting as well without even knowing. You have to unlearn that type of bs, but there isn't many of us to actually point it out...

off

1 hour ago, Jade said:

I think you're misreading the diagram--it's saying "both aromantics and romantics have a sexual orientation, etc.", not "you have to be both aromantic and romantic in order to have a sexual orientation". 

Edward Gorey? I have seen some aroace rumours about him. He said he was ace and the aro part is just a theory.

@Holmbo

wow, that diagram. So, you have to be aro and romo at the same time to be possibly homo...otherwise not a chance guys, sorry.  Charming.

It looks like someone let a drunk chimpanzee cut out sentences from a gossip mag and make a collage.  Where is it from? What kind of point is it trying to make? I'm truly curious.

Let's see.

Coming out as alloaro is hard, because people have some very negative stereotypes. Talking about the kind of relationships we (would like to) have is also hard, because of the same stereotypes.

I think the best way around it is choosing well how, when and to whom you come out. You have to have the right mood, enough time, and your answers ready, you have to be emotionally prepared. As with any kind of coming out I guess.

Its not really the fault of those aven users, if you aren't out to someone and you try to describe an alloaro person to them you get the same reactions. Its basically (internalised) amatonormativity.These stereotypes are cultural, people have grown up with them, aro, not aro, ace or gay or poly or whatever. Everyone was taught that success is settling down with someone attractive in a monogamous romantic/sexual relationship with 2.5 kids a dog and a house. People who don't end up like that are considered unhappy losers, even if they actually are happy and their 'lifestyle' is a conscious choice based on their natural needs.

And as far as I have seen, we aren't really fitting that 'heartless slut' stereotype everyone seem to think we are. (I don't suppose its out of spite to prove the world wrong... More like romance repulsion and not really being able to decode other people's romantic interest/advances and other things...at least it is for me.)

On 2016. 09. 03. at 4:10 PM, LunarSeas said:

I'm like a cat, I swear. Sometimes OMG I NEED SNUGGLES RIGHT NOW and most times I want to be left to my own devices with the option to engage if I wanted.

I'm kind of like that with sex...but my sensual drive is a lot higher than my sexual one actually, which is quite confusing to people. There so many who can't tell affection and attraction apart. I have to hold back and have to remind myself that most people read physical touch as a romantic or sexual advance even if its just a hug.

I think most Marvel movies are guilty. Funnily so are the first three Star Wars movies. Just because the romance is essential to the plot, somehow it still fails the kiss and the friends test. So I guess the last two are more of a test of how well written the romantic subplot is than a test of pointlessness...

I usually try to explain it as a personal experience, what it feels like... This way it's less clinical, and more easy to emphatise with. If I would quote Latin at them like some medieval priest, I would just alienate them, because they don't really get the concept so the labels would just be like pretentious white noise. Instead I would try to make it simple and relatable. It usually goes like this: imagine that you find lots of people hot. They are also lovely persons, maybe you want to be friends with them, maybe not really, but the spark just isn't there. Would you date someone who you have no feelings for? Imagine that you are paired up with someone randomly, like an arranged marriage. You are lucky, they are a decent human being but there is no chemistry at all. It's not something you would want for yourself, right? And imagine that this person is actually into you. A lot. They would want to be with you all the time, totally in love with you, follow you like a puppy. And you are just not into them. The attention is nice but in the long run its a bit suffocating. Sounds crap isn't it? Well, that is what's it for me with everyone. I can't help it, it's not like you can force yourself to develop feelings for someone. 

FINE, I WILL YELL  DID YOU PEOPLE LIKE THE NEW STAR TREK? ANYONE EXCITED FOR THE NEW STD SERIES?

The Ghostbusters had no romance so all the leads are aro, I don't make the rules

@comedyofaros Wow, that's some proper mess you have there.