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Discussion of femininity

Ace of Amethysts

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On 19/01/2017 at 2:13 PM, aussiekirkland said:

Prom/ball culture is a huuuuge thing in Australia.

People are shocked when I say I didn't bother going. I had a dress and a date, but I couldn't bring myself to cough up $60 to pay for a night of finger food, Michael Jackson music (it was the year he died) and seeing the hetero couple with the rhyming names be awarded the sash for 'Best Highschool Couple'. No one I have talked to had particularly good memories of their formal, religious school or otherwise, it was all about the burnouts in the carpark drinking beer at the afterparties. 


On 20/01/2017 at 6:51 AM, SoulWolf said:

One of the girls in my class actually said many years later that when she heard that all girls have to shave, she thought she was supposed to shave everything... legs, arms, hands, toes... everything.

I knew a girl like that. I asked her 'why?' because she had dark hair, I asked her 'why?' because it looks better she said, I asked 'to who?' her mother she said. And she was the shiest person I have ever met. Some messed up stuff going on in that fam. 


On 22/01/2017 at 4:06 AM, Untamed Heart said:

that he liked women who "took care of themselves"

this is so funny! All of my friends see this sentence in a sexual way after one girl went on a rant email to a guy from a dating website. A basic translation is "Seeking female who can supply all her own pleasure as I can't"



I like wearing dresses in the house, but outside doing things pants are just so much more useful. Especially pants with pockets that actually fit stuff. 

I find my armpits slimy if I shave, it just feels wrong, that may have to do with the deodorant I use. But I would prefer to not shave than change my deodorant. My grandmother hates armpit hair, but she doesn't discriminate, man, woman, whatever, they are all 'under jungles' and hideous. I occasionally wax my legs because I am weird and actually find it a mix of fascinating and pleasurable, and maybe there is some social pressure too. I have been publicly judged and shamed before about not shaving my legs, and the thought of it happening again makes me sad rather than angry or ambivalent. Shaving is prickly, I don't get why anyone would do it. Waxing is fun, getting the angles right by yourself can be hard though :( 


I don't really get where all this pink for girls blue for boys came from. It only started in the 1920s or something, as historically pink was seen as light red, which red was a man's colour and blue was associated with serenity and the Virgin Mary. A colour that wouldn't stir the blood of little girls. 


Due to anatomy bras are a constant companion, but seriously most were designed by men. Who else would have thought to put the adjusting buckles right at the back of the straps, so you would have to take the whole thing off to fix the straps. Most of the time the buckles are somewhere on your shoulderblade so they are visible unless you are wearing heavy material. Is it just to be able to spot at a distance from the back who is or isn't bra-less when wearing thin fabrics?! also, why do only smaller sized bras seem to have cute fabrics? oh, a bra with bees and beehives pattern! and only $1 on sale! I wonder what the largest size.......oh......00A cup :rofl: 

using a gross generalisation from an observation of a very small number of people it seems the larger breasts a young adult cisfemale has, the more classical stereotyped feminine she is, at least for first impressions and acquaintance-ship. 

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  • 2 months later...

Hi, everyone!

I'm collecting video interviews from non-straight women and transgender and non-binary people on their relationships with their femininity.

If anyone is alright with me interviewing them, please let me know! If you know anyone who might be alright with being interviewed, put them in contact with me!

I'm going to be asking everyone questions like "how does wearing a dress make you feel?" and "do you like being described as feminine?" and I plan on asking questions specific to people's orientations and gender identities as well, such as "how do you respond when people say 'you don't look like a lesbian'?" or "as a trans-girl, do you feel obligated to wear make up to indicate to other people that you are a girl?" or "do people expect you to be available to men as a woman, even after you tell them you are aromantic?"

I'm going to edit all the interviews I get into one cohesive film and then show it in a theater at my school for a suggested donation of about a dollar. I'm going to donate all proceeds to the Urgent Action Fund for Women's Rights, an organization that grants money to activists for women's rights and LGBT+ rights, especially their intersection.

I need to have this finished by March of 2019.

Thanks for your time!

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  • 4 years later...

Make up with what I see in western world popular atm where u absolutely cover ur face completely seems so crazy tbh. Like you can't even see what the person looks like and often the make up i'm sorry to say makes them look worse than b4. I think it is to appeal to men romantically or something but then ppl mostly women or feminine ppl often say its for themselves so i'm not too sure. Seems like a waste of money anyways, unless u have a condition u need to cover or cope with but if it is a skin condition you would end up making it worse more than likely. I can understand make up as an art form however, or for cameras etc. But it is unfair that it is more expected on Women than Men, when plenty of cultures do not use it at all or didnt at least until western culture brought it in (not to say other cultures didnt have their own form of it just in more recent times). It should not be expected as a thing at all, workplaces should never pressure ppl nor should special occasions. Nor should women be pressured to dress a certain way.


also nothing wrong with a bit of hair on women, even a little beard on women haha 

Industry marketed it this way in advertising, just seems like another way to sell things on to ppl and make them feel anxious that their bodies r not good enough or to make other ppl judge on ur behalf. Media has warped ppls perceptions a lot.

I can understand shaving for hygiene purposes tho that is important. And for certain sports apparently. But it is double standard that women are expected too (at least if visible) and men not as much in the same places (tho there are beards).


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  • 2 months later...

What bothers me the most and has hurt me the most personally is the whole culture around being "modest". Just today I was at physical therapy and my therapist was telling me to spread my knees apart because otherwise my joints get all tweaked and I thought it's definitely because of being an obsessive rule follower and my mom constantly telling me to keep my knees together for the sake of modesty that I have such a hard time not keeping my knees glewed to each other 

like all that shit still haunts me day by day. I've vented about it more on aven but just like the amount of damage that is put on afab people by constantly telling them to be modest is fucking awful. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Though i’m a tomboy i shave my body hair, wear dresses and wear makeup because i wanna feel feminine and girly. And most important of all i do it because of my own satisfaction and for my own definition of beauty. 

You’re not less feminine for not wearing makeup or shaving your body hair. And yes our society’s definition of femininity is horrible because in my opinion feminism is something you define yourself. I define myself as feminine when i wear makeup, wearing dresses and shave my body hair, it makes me comfortable and i feel beautiful and attractive. And a lot of women feel attractive and beautiful when they don’t shave, don’t wear makeup or dresses and that’s valid and cool too. 


And i’m also genderfluid so whether i feel masculine, feminine or gender neutral, i see myself as beautiful and attractive. Why should i let the society’s definition of feminism or masculinity affect the way i see myself? 


PS: And we shouldn’t be judgmental of each one’s definition of what makes women/girls feminine.

Edited by Cocothecoconut
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