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Am I an aro?


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Ok I can't sleep so I'm gonna post this.


I just made an account for this one post (but I might keep using this)

also, sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm kinda in a hurry to write dis.


so I have to post some personal info first... ok so I'm a 13 year old female, and I've never ever felt love or had a crush. I feel like I've gone under all the changes (I'm a early bloomer) I've had my period, felt sexual desire, etc. I'm mature for my age so ye.


this originally wasn't much of a concern to me... until someone at my camp started to talk about boys.


"hehe how many crushes have you guys had?"

"hmm maybe 3?"

"around 6"

then it was my turn

"uhh I've never had a crush..."

they all were saying something along the lines of 

"WHAT?! Oh I get it, you're too embarrassed"

I didn't want to start an argument so I kinda just said I was too embarrassed.


So as of now I've dubbed myself as an aro, but I may change. I'm still kinda iffy on calling myself that, but for now it works.


I forgot to mention. I have a girlfriend. Now, earlyer this year one of my good friends confessed to having a crush on me, so one thing lead to another and we decided to try something out. 


She lives a little far away, so we've only hung out as girlfriends 2 times (both sleepovers). I told her that any "lovey" thing was fine with me, because I don't really view it as anything. So if she were to kiss me on the cheek, I wouldn't think anything of it really.


The main reason why I'm iffy on calling myself aromantic is well...

IM 13


The main point of this post was to seek advice on what to dub myself 


(I make it sound like I don't want to be 'dubbed' but it actually makes me more comfortable)


P.S I've done lots of research on the feelings of an aro, and I agree with almost all (I'm saying almost because I haven't read EVERYTHING) 


thanks for your time!


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Hey, first off a big welcome to the site! Hope you have a great time here :icecream:


I was 13 myself when I discovered aromanticism, so don't feel worried about labeling yourself aro if that's what you find yourself identifying with. Your feelings now are just as valid as some hypothetical future where you discover you aren't aro.


Hope this helped in some way!

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I mean....so what if you're 13? If the label aromantic resonates with you, go with it. If you're mistaken, or simply grow out of it, who gets hurt? Not really anyone, if you keep yourself honest. 


I wish I had had a word for my feelings at 13, but such is the world and time. And we all figure ourselves out in our own time.

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I'm not sure really. I was also an early bloomer (started puberty around 9) and 10 years later I'm still aromantic. Hell, my second cousin is 9 and she has a "boyfriend". Although I never had the language to describe it until almost two years ago, I still felt a disconnect between myself and a lot of people my age at that time, and it only got more noticeable throughout my schooling.


So I'm not sure whether you'll be aro forever, but it certainly sounds like you're aro right now.

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I discovered aromaticism last year when I was 14 and I think if you feel that label describes you well then for the time being I personally find it to be useful because if my experience has a designated word then I'm not alone and that's somewhat reassuring. But you use it if you feel good with it 'on' you.

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Welcome! Feel free to read around the forums if you have other questions or want to know what being aro is like for us.


I know you asked us to help you determine whether you're aro or not, but we cannot tell you. You have to tell us. If you think you are aro, then we accept that you are aro. And if you are aro now and discover you have a different romantic attraction or are somewhere else on the aromantic spectrum, then we will accept that. And if you find out that you were never aro, then it is perfectly ok to say you're aro now until you find that out! You are who you say you are. No one is too young to know their own experiences in life.


 If it helps and you haven't done this already, try imagining your girlfriend having romantic feelings for you. Then try imagining what romance with her would feel like. Talk to her about what romance means to her, if you're unsure. Uncertainty can feel uncomfortable, but sometimes it helps us discover things about ourselves. I hope you have a steady journey, and we will be here to talk if you will have us.

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