Someone told me that I might be aromantic and now I'm very confused

[Guest page28]

Hello, I'm very confused since someone told me I might be aromantic I can't stop thinking about it, sorry about my English 

So, all my life  romance was very important to me, I used to daydream about me marrying or dating someone, I've never been in a relationship but I've flirted with men on Instagram and I really liked that, I used to spend all day waiting for them to text me, and I could imagine me going out with them, on the beach and etc, I thought about me posting a picture or video of us on Instagram and all my friends and family sees it, I had a best friend in highschool that i thought he was beautiful so I started talking to him, we loved to listen to Taylor swift together play video games and etc, at one point I didn't felt anything for him anymore, but there was a year where I used to listen to love songs and think about him, I watched the movie lovie Rosie and think about us, I remember when he started to date and I felt so jealous and angry that I deleted all of our photos.

And I've always had some feelings towards women that idk what this could mean.

I had a teacher that I thought was so pretty and so interesting and everytime she talked to me I immediately blushed, I couldn't look at her, when I was seated next to her I felt so nervous, I wanted her to notice me.

There was a friend of mine back in school,that I thought was really beautiful too, I felt nervous around her and I couldn't talk to her like I talked to my other friends, I remember when I arrived at school and it was just her and me I felt really nervous, then one day, I was playing video games on my phone and my hair fell on my face, then she put her hand on my face to put my hair behind my ear, I immediately blushed and it was like the world stopped for a second.

In highschool there was this girl that I couldn't stop looking at her,I wanted to impress her, I wanted her to look and me and notice me, in a room full of people I could still feel her presence, I had dreams about her.

But I've never thought about doing something romantic with them, since I thought I was straight and that all women felt that way, so for me it was normal 

Last year I was in a restaurant and a woman so beautiful (imo) sat next to me and I felt really nervous, I started to fix my hair and my posture, I remember looking at her and she was looking me back and I looked away from being nervous, until this day I remember her hair, her clothes, her voice, what she said, I was pretty depressive at the time and I remember going back home so happy and energized, I wanted to go out again, to have a relationship.

 I have celebrities crush, like really crush, I think about me with them, and I feel desire.

The problem is that when men asked me out I really wanted to go but I felt anxious and nervous so I didn't

I really want a girlfriend, like really really, I can imagine me kissing a woman and hugging her, and I feel so much desire

But since this person told me that I can't stop thinking about it, someone told me about cupioromantic and now I'm panicking

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

If you don’t mind me asking, what prompted this person to say you might be cupio? I’m not saying you’re not, if that’s something that resonates with you that’s great, but most of what you’re describing just sounds to me like pretty typical shyness regarding romance. Is there something I’m missing here?

Edited August 3, 2023 by Jot-Aro Kujo

[Synthetic Adrenaline]

You don't sound aro. Don't worry about it and just live life.

[Holmbo]

The only way to know is to experiment. Go on some dates and see how it feels like. If you're too anxious that doesn't have anything to with your romantic orientation likely, check with a therapist about possible treatment for anxiety.

[nonmerci]

You sound more anxious than aro.

[Guest page28]

17 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

If you don’t mind me asking, what prompted this person to say you might be cupio? I’m not saying you’re not, if that’s something that resonates with you that’s great, but most of what you’re describing just sounds to me like pretty typical shyness regarding romance. Is there something I’m missing here?

I don't even know the person, I posted on reddit about a video of a woman doing kiss pov, and that I felt uncomfortable by it, then this person told me that. And now I'm very confused, I don't know if what I felt for men and women was a crush or just a squish, I'm confused, I wasn't even thinking about it before this person told me that.

I read about qpr and I don't feel comfortable with it, I feel like i will miss something, I really want to marry a woman, have kids and etc. But now my mind is convincing me that I can't, before this person told me that, my biggest fear was "what if when I finally kiss or start to date a woman I realize I don't like it" and now I'm very confused, I'm so confused about cupioromantic because they have the desire to it

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

1 hour ago, Guest page28 said:

I don't even know the person, I posted on reddit about a video of a woman doing kiss pov, and that I felt uncomfortable by it, then this person told me that. And now I'm very confused, I don't know if what I felt for men and women was a crush or just a squish, I'm confused, I wasn't even thinking about it before this person told me that.

I read about qpr and I don't feel comfortable with it, I feel like i will miss something, I really want to marry a woman, have kids and etc. But now my mind is convincing me that I can't, before this person told me that, my biggest fear was "what if when I finally kiss or start to date a woman I realize I don't like it" and now I'm very confused, I'm so confused about cupioromantic because they have the desire to it

Ah, I see. Well, this is just my opinion, but it sounds to me like you're probably just a lesbian who's nervous about stuff- Which is perfectly normal and ok! Relationships can be scary and confusing. Take things at your own pace and don't worry too much about labels. If the aromantic spectrum sounds right to you sometime in the future, then it's worth returning to, but as things stand right now I think it's better to take it easy than to worry too much about. well. A stranger's reaction to your reaction to a weird video online, lol. I really don't think it's that big of a deal. Take care!

[Guest Page28]

14 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Ah, I see. Well, this is just my opinion, but it sounds to me like you're probably just a lesbian who's nervous about stuff- Which is perfectly normal and ok! Relationships can be scary and confusing. Take things at your own pace and don't worry too much about labels. If the aromantic spectrum sounds right to you sometime in the future, then it's worth returning to, but as things stand right now I think it's better to take it easy than to worry too much about. well. A stranger's reaction to your reaction to a weird video online, lol. I really don't think it's that big of a deal. Take care!

In your opinion what I described sounds like romantic attraction?? 

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

16 hours ago, Guest Page28 said:

In your opinion what I described sounds like romantic attraction?? 

Yeah, pretty distinctly. Is there something in particular that makes you think it might not be?

[Guest Page28]

12 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Yeah, pretty distinctly. Is there something in particular that makes you think it might not be?

Idk whenever someone asked me out I felt pretty anxious and didn't go