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Loveless/Heartless Aros Thread


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I’m not exactly positive where this goes, but I’ve wanted to make it for a while. It would be nice to have a space to discuss our views and just chat and stuff. I don’t know if there’s enough people here, but whatever. Come to ask questions and what not to, as long as you’re not rude. Hello all!

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Yeah, the flags are awesome. I like the Heartless Aro flag because it’s pink (pink is a great color, but it’s somehow unfortunately associated with romance, which is why this flag is cool because it’s literally a pink flag for those who don’t connect to romance) Also, not one of mine, but the Paradox Aro flag. For people who are in some way both loveless and not loveless.

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4 minutes ago, DragonWithAQuest said:

Yeah, the flags are awesome. I like the Heartless Aro flag because it’s pink (pink is a great color, but it’s somehow unfortunately associated with romance, which is why this flag is cool because it’s literally a pink flag for those who don’t connect to romance)

tbf its the heartless aro flag and i personally interpret the pink as flesh rather than romance

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5 minutes ago, LIVI0 said:

tbf its the heartless aro flag and i personally interpret the pink as flesh rather than romance

Um, okay?? I mean, zombies are cool… You do you, buddy. /lh

Edit: Added tone tags so you can tell I’m not mocking you.

Edited by DragonWithAQuest
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2 minutes ago, LIVI0 said:

its mainly bc it has the word heart in it. so it got me thinking

Now I’m thinking too. We need aro zombies.

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27 minutes ago, DragonWithAQuest said:

Yeah, the flags are awesome. I like the Heartless Aro flag because it’s pink (pink is a great color, but it’s somehow unfortunately associated with romance, which is why this flag is cool because it’s literally a pink flag for those who don’t connect to romance) Also, not one of mine, but the Paradox Aro flag. For people who are in some way both loveless and not loveless.

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You know the flag I REALLY like though? The aroace flag. Not the green and purple, but that beautiful orange, yellow, white, and blue one.

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1 minute ago, HelloThere said:

You know the flag I REALLY like though? The aroace flag. Not the green and purple, but that beautiful orange, yellow, white, and blue one.

I mean, if we wanted to talk about nice flags, I could go on all day. Flags are one of my special interests, and I watch way too many vexillology videos. 

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16 minutes ago, DragonWithAQuest said:

I mean, if we wanted to talk about nice flags, I could go on all day. Flags are one of my special interests, and I watch way too many vexillology videos. 

I just like the cool looks, and overall the aroace flag is pretty well done for a pride flag. Still excessive use of colors but it’s very well made overall. (Here I am ogling over a flag more than people).

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I personally connect more to the loveloose label, but I still feel more solidarity with loveless/heartless aro than the rest of the general aro community as they're far, far less likely to call me a psychopath for not being platonically attracted to my friends every millisecond.

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17 hours ago, DragonWithAQuest said:

Also, not one of mine, but the Paradox Aro flag. For people who are in some way both loveless and not loveless.

I never heard of paradox aro and the only thing I find about it is this, that doesn't fit. Do you have a link? Cause it may fit more than what I call myself which is greyloveless (ok it's just that I don't like the word greyloveless even if I ivented it lol).

 

1 hour ago, Lovebird said:

I personally connect more to the loveloose label, but I still feel more solidarity with loveless/heartless aro than the rest of the general aro community as they're far, far less likely to call me a psychopath for not being platonically attracted to my friends every millisecond.

Never heard of it, interesting, I may look into it.

I think loveless and probably lovelose and heartless aros too are more opened cause they don't see love and in particular platonic love as the one thing that redeems us. I remember people telling me how we give a bad image of the aro community, how we should not associate loveless or heartless with aro cause this is not linked to being aro, and that we should even stop ID as aro cause our absence of love is necessarily linked to neurodivergence. There is nothing we love more than people who randomly diaognise others online, right?

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5 hours ago, nonmerci said:

Do you have a link?

Here it is. https://www.tumblr.com/jestcoining/685356345649774592/paradox-aro-arolovedox
It’s also called arolovedox to avoid confusion with the label you linked.

 

5 hours ago, nonmerci said:

There is nothing we love more than people who randomly diaognise others online, right?

Yeah, that’s stupid. And even if you are neurodivergent, so? Why does that mean you don’t belong in the aro community?

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I don't always go through the conscious process of identifying as a 'loveless aro' (hence it not being on my orientation), but I am still loveless, especially when it comes to rejecting the expectations and assumptions of alloromanticism and romance in society, and with whoever I am now as a person, I am one who can not feel the type of love that alloromantics believe to be the only existing form of it, and I don't need to redeem who I am by saying I love my friends/family/pets/interests/etc. I also identify as such when it comes to just owning my aro identity in general, and want to reclaim the "robot" or "soulless" stereotype that often affects the aspec community. I do share sentiments with loveloose and lovequeer a lot, but I just say I'm loveless besides.

Edited by The Newest Fabled Creature
added on to pre-existing sentences
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3 hours ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

but I am still loveless, especially when it comes to rejecting the expectations and assumptions of alloromanticism and romance in society, and with whoever I am now as a person, I am one who can not feel the type of love that alloromantics believe to be the only existing form of it, and I don't need to redeem who I am by saying I love my friends/family/pets/interests/etc.

i really relate to this! i feel like whenever aros are confronted with the "your heartless" stereotype some feel the need to make up for it by reminding people of other forms of love, i think thats fine, but my humanity should not be defined by my ability to love

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15 hours ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I don't need to redeem who I am by saying I love my friends/family/pets/interests/etc. I also identify as such when it comes to just owning my aro identity in general, and want to reclaim the "robot" or "soulless" stereotype that often affects the aspec community.

its weird to say i love any1 in gen bc i dont feel that way. my lack of empathy & attraction plays a huge part in my loveless id; that i only know im attached but even then its mostly subconscious. just lately my grandmas leg starting to hurt real bad so she wanted me to accompany her to the hospital along w my dad; i didnt want to go bc if the news r bad i wont know how to react since i wont feel anything. i wont feel terrible or worried 4 her

im so disconnected from the concept of love in many aspects its insane. also reclaiming the heartless; soulless robot stereotype bc i really want closure despite my traits being sm of a freak according to society

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18 hours ago, DragonWithAQuest said:

Here it is. https://www.tumblr.com/jestcoining/685356345649774592/paradox-aro-arolovedox
It’s also called arolovedox to avoid confusion with the label you linked.

Thanks ! I really like loveflux in the link you posted, I think I will use it.

16 hours ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I don't need to redeem who I am by saying I love my friends/family/pets/interests/etc.

Yeah. I understand if it is a big part of them, they want to say they love, that's normal. But they can do it in a way that doesn't look down on people who don't.

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5 hours ago, LIVI0 said:

its weird to say i love any1 in gen bc i dont feel that way. my lack of empathy & attraction plays a huge part in my loveless id; that i only know im attached but even then its mostly subconscious. just lately my grandmas leg starting to hurt real bad so she wanted me to accompany her to the hospital along w my dad; i didnt want to go bc if the news r bad i wont know how to react since i wont feel anything. i wont feel terrible or worried 4 her

im so disconnected from the concept of love in many aspects its insane. also reclaiming the heartless; soulless robot stereotype bc i really want closure despite my traits being sm of a freak according to society

Yeah. I think I’m low empathy as well. I don’t know if it’s due to autism or what. So I really relate to what you’re saying.

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7 minutes ago, DragonWithAQuest said:

Yeah. I think I’m low empathy as well. I don’t know if it’s due to autism or what. So I really relate to what you’re saying.

its funny bc my bro suspected that im autistic but idt i share many autistic traits. well tbf i wouldnt know unless some1 points it out lmao

Edited by LIVI0
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7 minutes ago, LIVI0 said:

its funny bc my bro suspected that im autistic but idt i share many autistic traits. well tbf i wouldnt know unless some1 points it out lmao

I can’t diagnose you, considering the fact that I’m just an internet stranger, but why does your brother suspect this?

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1 minute ago, DragonWithAQuest said:

I can’t diagnose you, considering the fact that I’m just an internet stranger, but why does your brother suspect this?

yeah ik. im not looking to be diagnosed even if i might be nd since im not really as affected. i never asked xim actually; xe just said it wo any elaboration. i still believe im nt since my bros just saying things but im def not mentally sane regardless

my mom thought i had adhd bc i share some v obv symptoms like hyperactivity and trouble focusing but now she thinks im like this due to the internet; since it does reduce my attention span which makes it hard to focus. but wtvs

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That feeling when you find a cool-looking online math game that is apparently about "love and graphing" and you're like, "Well, I'll take the graphing, I could do without the love."

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  • 11 months later...
  • 1 month later...

I don't always consciously say I'm a loveless aro (as in, I forget lmao), but I am definitely loveless. I'm loveless in the way that even if I experience love in the platonic and familial sense, I won't ever use those feelings to make myself look better or to try to humanize myself for others who don't like me anyway, or who don't think we exist in the first place. I am loveless - because society based what makes us human on just one emotion, when what makes us human (for those that consider themselves as such) is our individual existences; which should ultimately drive us to band together because there's so many things that people can have in common with one another, but... it doesn't. At least, not all the time. I am loveless, because I don't experience romantic attraction and I'm not sorry for it. I am loveless, because I'm not going to try to soothe an allo's hurt from my rejection. I am loveless, because allo people don't care for my comfort, so I'll be loveless to make them uncomfortable. I am loveless, because lovelessness sets me free. I am loveless, because that's an integral part of me.

Edited by The Newest Fabled Creature
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