Response to anyone who insists your friendships are secretly romantic

[DaviM703]

I have the experience of people insisting I was secretly looking for something romantic with friends, and this is apparently enough of a problem for people in the LGBTQ+ community that I wrote this about it: https://medium.com/@DaviMcCrea/other-peoples-relationships-are-not-yours-to-define-7ce6d8e21336

[nonmerci]

I'm pretty sure once, a waiter assumed my brother and I were on a date because we don't look alike at all (we both have the same parents but my brother took everything from my mum and I from my dad... including the skin color) and you know, a woman and a man, what could we possibly be doing ?

Also in middle school, a friend of mine insisted that if I was hated so much one guy, it was because I was in love with him. I told her multiple times I didn't, but she didn't believe me. To the point that she arranged a meeting for him to confess. She must have been surprised when I say no and go away.

 

Sometimes it is funny, sometimes itbis so annoying.

Edited March 5, 2023 by nonmerci

[DaviM703]

One time it kind of became a joke between me and a TA at my high school. I found it invalidating but didn't know how to properly express that it seriously bothered me because being on the autism spectrum makes communication harder, but it kind of became funny when other staff helped me do funny things in response. For example, a teacher helped me write a fake pink slip to her, then she gave me a candy bar as a supposed wedding present for me and someone I was friends with, and we responded by giving her a box for her things, so that became funny even though it felt invalidating and annoying at first.

Edited February 28, 2023 by DaviM703

[hemogoblin]

I love, love, love the comparison/explanation to "Is It Cake?" Genius.

Interestingly, I've surprisingly had this happen multiple times, but I must read as pretty queer to people because all the times I'm aware of were similar-gender relationships/read as sapphic. I've always found it amusing in my cases because it gets pretty ridiculous. Like my advisor told my roommate and I that she was fine with us sleeping in the same bed while we babysat her kid for the week, and it was only afterwords that we were like "wait, what? does she think...?" She just hardcore assumed and dove right in, lol. Or my bff in HS admitted to me that she'd been telling people we were dating when they asked for like...years. I'm so socially oblivious. xD I guess the reason I can find it amusing is because people don't really talk to me or bother me about it. It just...is for them? Which I find kinda funny.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

My brother is my fraternal twin, but we don't look alike that much unless you're looking for shared traits, but we especially don't look alike from him taking on features from our biological father and I from our mom (we also took different features from our grandparents on our mom's side too, more or less). We only look so much alike now, because I cut my hair very short and he cut his recently grown-out hair short too, but I would like to hope that because of my butch-ness I doubt many would think we're dating if someone saw us hanging out - but before I had cut my hair so many people thought that we were a couple - especially people at school. 

Like, I have a very, veeery clear memory of when me and him were in middle school and this girl, who we did not know at all, saw us goofing off in the gym and asked if we were a couple - to which we said, "No, we're not. We're siblings, twins to be exact" - and she asked the age ole creepy ass question, "Oh! Well.. if you two weren't siblings, would you date?'' Like... no? What type of question is that? I guess she saw us so much like a couple that she thought that that was okay to ask so that she could have an excuse to still see us as "coupley".

Edited May 29, 2023 by The Newest Fabled Creature

[HelloThere]

9 hours ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

My brother is my fraternal twin, but we don't look alike that much unless you're looking for shared traits, but we especially don't look alike from him taking on features from our biological father and I from our mom (we also took different features from our grandparents on our mom's side too, more or less). We only look so much alike now, because I cut my hair very short and he cut his recently grown-out hair short too, but I would like to hope that because of my butch-ness I doubt many would think we're dating if someone saw us hanging out - but before I had cut my hair so many people thought that we were a couple - especially people at school. 

Like, I have a very, veeery clear memory of when me and him were in middle school and this girl, who we did not know at all, saw us goofing off in the gym and asked if we were a couple - to which we said, "No, we're not. We're siblings, twins to be exact" - and she asked the age ole creepy ass question, "Oh! Well.. if you two weren't siblings, would you date?'' Like... no? What type of question is that? I guess she saw us so much like a couple that she thought that that was okay to ask so that she could have an excuse to still see us as "coupley".

That’s a VERY creepy question I’d probably respond with “no, I can enjoy being with someone and not date.)