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Have you been able to keep a sustainable relationship??


Ted guy

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A romantic-like relationship or a QPR ? Not for me, I won't even try.

But am I friends with two people for years (though for one we only recently talk again after a long silence). We son't see each other a lot, once or twice each two months, but that's still friendship and that's sustainable.

I also have this with my parents and brother.

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3 hours ago, nonmerci said:

A romantic-like relationship or a QPR ? Not for me, I won't even try.

But am I friends with two people for years (though for one we only recently talk again after a long silence). We son't see each other a lot, once or twice each two months, but that's still friendship and that's sustainable.

I also have this with my parents and brother.

Yes, romantic.

But actually your answer is interesting..... I wonder if being an aro could make us lack the feeling of bonding in friendships too.

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Yes I am able to continue my friendships. We usually meet during the summer for some beach days and stuff, text and what not.

But for me personally to sustain isn’t necessarily a good thing.

The word sustainable, I have some thoughts on this word. This word means to continue, to maintain, etc. 

Now when I think of that word for my friendships it means they are surviving, staying in tact. I want my friendships to thrive not stay on life support.

Also for me seeing my friends only a few times a year, or every couple months which is more than I see my friends is a rather lonely existence. 
 

So yes my friendships are surviving but not thriving. 

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11 hours ago, Ted guy said:

I wonder if being an aro could make us lack the feeling of bonding in friendships too.

Except for aplatonic aros, for what I see, it is the opposite : friendship is usually important to aros, as this is where the support and human contact is find. A lot of aros have squishes (platonic crush) and have friendship heartbreak when a friendship ends. The friendships can be deep. Being aro can reinforce the need for friendships, as not having a romantic partner makes your friendships more important (relying on them for emotional support, for instance). So usually aros don't lack bonding in friendship, it is quite the contrary.

 

But as I said there is also aplatonic aros. Aplatonic means nit feeling platonic attraction : aplatonic people don't see a stranger and feel the need to befriend them, a mot don't feel the need to initiate friendship or don't miss their friends when they gone. So if you want to talk about lacking "the feeling of bonding in friendship", it is the word you are looking for. It is not linked to being aro : you find aplatonic alloromantic too.

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