Guest Phoebe Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 For about a year now i have been debating whether i am aroace, but tonight everything just kinda snapped into place ig. I always thought i developed crushes on legolas or draco malfoy, but im thinking that that was more aesthetic attraction overall. Every time there were new people and classes in my school, i scouted out for a potential love interest, found one who looking back on i never interacted with or truly cared about and forgot about over time. I LOVE romantic comedies but ive realised that it wasnt the characters not being attractive that confused my perception of it, but me just not being attracted to them. Gotta thank Alice Oseman's Loveless which really brought this to light for me. Sorry for ranting just kinda excited. So yeah im pretty sure thats me. Knew there was a reason i always felt a bit lost talking about romance in lessons or with friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AroAcedragon13 Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 congrats! 💚🤍🖤 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhoebeFrog Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 15 hours ago, Guest Phoebe said: For about a year now i have been debating whether i am aroace, but tonight everything just kinda snapped into place ig. I always thought i developed crushes on legolas or draco malfoy, but im thinking that that was more aesthetic attraction overall. Every time there were new people and classes in my school, i scouted out for a potential love interest, found one who looking back on i never interacted with or truly cared about and forgot about over time. I LOVE romantic comedies but ive realised that it wasnt the characters not being attractive that confused my perception of it, but me just not being attracted to them. Gotta thank Alice Oseman's Loveless which really brought this to light for me. Sorry for ranting just kinda excited. So yeah im pretty sure thats me. Knew there was a reason i always felt a bit lost talking about romance in lessons or with friends. Hiiiii!! That was me just testing the waters, now im obsessed with this site and will be staying here for quite a while i think! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhoebeFrog Posted December 8, 2022 Share Posted December 8, 2022 Update: lets just say this last month has been a mix of anxiety induced debate over if im actually aroace which i know is all in my head and kinda hope it stops one day. Celebrated my bday which was nice. So yeah ive really been trying to fully accept this, and i was okay with it, until today. Sooo i came out to cat lol (dont worry hes chill), just so i could test out these words and phrases to myself. Then today i was walking home from school with a friend and we were talking about the future and relationships and stuff. Thats okay, then i sorta told her that yknow romance is good and all but the reality is just not appealing. I figured i could come out to her without reprecussions because i knew she would be chill and shes more of a distant but still close friend nowdays. I mentioned the book loveless and its subject in passing, then when we continued talking about this kind of stuff, i told her that i think im aromantic asexual. She was sooo nice and just accepting of it which made me feel happy. But now at home, its kinda made me think. i guess that saying it to an actual person reminded me that this is real, and this will be my life. So now im sorta going through this mini crisis thats like omg this is happening, and also my mind constantly telling myself that i was kidding and i could fall in love one day (nah). I think i never really considered how it would just affect me being out. im not sure if i wanna come out to my friend group, they are all LGBTQ, but i like how things are and i dont want to feel, not the odd one out, but some indescribable outcast in a way i suppose. So yeah, im coping both really well, and coping rubbishly. Had to write an english mock essay on Romeo's love in Romeo and Juliet, so fun... But yeah life update. Sorry if this is too long and hard to explain, just felt i needed to tell someone, and why not loads of interent strangers? :) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted December 10, 2022 Share Posted December 10, 2022 @PhoebeFrogThanks for sharing 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonmerci Posted December 11, 2022 Share Posted December 11, 2022 You are not forced to come out, you need to be ready for these things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm_leopardcat Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 On 12/9/2022 at 3:19 AM, PhoebeFrog said: Update: lets just say this last month has been a mix of anxiety induced debate over if im actually aroace which i know is all in my head and kinda hope it stops one day. Celebrated my bday which was nice. So yeah ive really been trying to fully accept this, and i was okay with it, until today. Sooo i came out to cat lol (dont worry hes chill), just so i could test out these words and phrases to myself. Then today i was walking home from school with a friend and we were talking about the future and relationships and stuff. Thats okay, then i sorta told her that yknow romance is good and all but the reality is just not appealing. I figured i could come out to her without reprecussions because i knew she would be chill and shes more of a distant but still close friend nowdays. I mentioned the book loveless and its subject in passing, then when we continued talking about this kind of stuff, i told her that i think im aromantic asexual. She was sooo nice and just accepting of it which made me feel happy. But now at home, its kinda made me think. i guess that saying it to an actual person reminded me that this is real, and this will be my life. So now im sorta going through this mini crisis thats like omg this is happening, and also my mind constantly telling myself that i was kidding and i could fall in love one day (nah). I think i never really considered how it would just affect me being out. im not sure if i wanna come out to my friend group, they are all LGBTQ, but i like how things are and i dont want to feel, not the odd one out, but some indescribable outcast in a way i suppose. So yeah, im coping both really well, and coping rubbishly. Had to write an english mock essay on Romeo's love in Romeo and Juliet, so fun... But yeah life update. Sorry if this is too long and hard to explain, just felt i needed to tell someone, and why not loads of interent strangers? :) That's great to hear! It certainly sounds like you have had quite a journey! Welcome to Arocalypse; I hope you enjoy it here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EternallyTBD Posted December 18, 2022 Share Posted December 18, 2022 (edited) As another newly discovered aroace, yeah, the whole never-going-to-fall-in-love part scares me too. You’re not alone if that’s what you’re saying Edited December 18, 2022 by EternallyTBD 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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