How did y'all know you were aromantic/asexual?

[Nessa]

14 hours ago, NotHeartless said:

@Nessa I understand the struggle of making (new) friends. I'm younger than you, but it certainly isn't an age thing. In my age (late 20s) people tend to settle down, get married, etc. which isn't a great phase, especially when you're aro but still desire to feel a deeper connection with others (just not on a romantic basis).
Greetings to France btw, I'm your friendly neighbor from Germany. The land in which being aromantic is just as unknown. Je ne peux pas parler français...alors que j'adore la langue. Eh bien, peut-être un peu mais c'est rouillé. 😅

Thank you. Yes being aro is not easy and I don't think it change with the age. 

Well I've tried to learn German but never been able to talk I remember a few words. I wish I could speak it one day. 

17 hours ago, Storm_leopardcat said:

For the last part (I seem to be unable to select that), try messaging in the visibility and pride forum page to see if anyone else lives in France and wants to meet-up? I think I saw someone else in the forum who lives in Paris.

As for friends, I was wondering, do you have any friends from high school or university? Any long time ones who stuck around and are still friends with to this day? What about siblings? Co-workers?

 

You have an interesting life, I have to say. 

Do you maybe have any hobbies that might enable you to meet-up with others who share the same hobbies or interests as you? Attend a convention, perhaps? Maybe you’re part of a fandom. 

Thank you for replying to me, and answering my questions:). I appreciate it!

I will check it I didn't think about it. Thank you!

Actually my friends from high school were the ones not accepting me and they hurt me a lot.

I am trying to become an actress so I take acting class, try to find projects in which acting and I already did some extras in movies and tv shows. I meet a lot of people but didn't really got closed to many of them. I talk with 2 of this people sometimes.

 

[NotHeartless]

On 9/28/2022 at 12:46 PM, Nessa said:

I am trying to become an actress so I take acting class, try to find projects in which acting and I already did some extras in movies and tv shows

Uh, that's really cool. I wish you the best for your ambitions and hopefully, you will never have "friends" again who don't accept you for who you are in your life. I dealt with this kind of people too. It can mess with your mental health and it's not easy to trust again.

[piroshki101]

There were a lot of signs when I was younger, as I'd never had any crushes. I kinda just ignored it (did the same thing with my gender identity). Then I read loveless and watched Jaiden's video and I was like "I might as well just accept it!". I did figure out I was ace before though because I legit thought sexual attraction was a joke, but figuring out I was aro was harder for me to accept so it took longer for me to find out.

[alien]

I figured out I was gray ace first

After watching Jaiden Animations's video, I learned that sexual attraction..exists

I do experience some sexual attraction I guess? But it's been a long time and I sometimes forget that I can experience that

Then I questioned my romantic orientation, and I kinda still am,but grayro feels right so grayro it is

 

Edited October 1, 2022 by alien

[Harvest-Unity]

1 hour ago, alien said:

After watching Jaiden Animations's video

Ha I feel like the community got suspiciously more crowded when she released that video

[Terra Branford]

It started to express itself around late elementary/early middle school. As a kid I watched all the fairy tail movies and grew up expecting romance and marriage. But something shifted when I got around real people. When it came to getting close and being with someone I was never really comfortable. I would admire people from afar but I never told them how I felt. And when it seemed they would reciprocate, I would lose interest. As I got older and encountered more people who talked about dating/relationships, I was always left with a feeling of why don't like anyone? After really learning about romantic attraction is, I realized that a lot of what I believed to be crushes were based on fantasies. The more I forced myself to see things more logically, I lost interest in romance. I have only been emotionally attached/attracted to one person in my entire life. But nobody else really does it for me. 

[SilentShadows]

I vividly remember reading stories as a kid and finding myself interested in the lead-up and the tension before-hand, but once there was romance...? It felt odd. Confessions of love and adoration just didn't see realistic, and I remembered saying I liked slow-burn romance the most when in reality, I just liked the lead-up and could understand the result a bit better at the end. To me, the idea of romance just never really made sense. I had squishes of sorts on people where I wanted to be close to them physically, but in a platonic way. Imagining myself dating them would make me deeply uncomfortable. 

I first heard of asexuality significantly before I heard of aromanticism. I did relate to it a little, but not one hundred percent (I'm gray-ace) and I definitely couldn't understand the appeal of romance without sex.  The logic overall just... didn't make sense. How and why would you fall in love? Was it even possible to really know that person after only a few dates? For a long time, I felt there was something wrong with the way I was. My family was (loosely) Catholic, and the whole anti-lgbt+ thing didn't help either. I was terrified I was secretly Gay™ because of my lack of interest in romance. I guess I kinda sorta failed to realize 0 + 0 is still 0 in the end!

I... probably should've taken the hint from me being young and getting distraught after being told you should get married or you'll be lonely, though. I think it was a few years ago when I really was like "hey, this is YOU" to the whole idea of being aromantic. Hearing other's experiences really helped, too. 

 

[Nessa]

On 9/29/2022 at 6:06 PM, NotHeartless said:

Uh, that's really cool. I wish you the best for your ambitions and hopefully, you will never have "friends" again who don't accept you for who you are in your life. I dealt with this kind of people too. It can mess with your mental health and it's not easy to trust again.

Thank you so much!! :-D Well I prefer being alone that with this kind of people again. Yes it is really hard I am working about it with a specialist and it helps a lot it is good to talk about it with someone she is really openminded and nice. And this forum really helps too I feel less alone and it is great to see I am not the only one.