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is it normal to like songs about romance as an aroace? (i didn't know what forum to choose for this-)


glitchy
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i like a few songs but they're about romance, i don't like looking at kiss scenes or other romantic stuff, just songs and maybe some fanfics...and au's.....okay yea at this point i only like imagining it and don't like experiencing it in reality or looking at all that, so i may or may not be aegoromantic, i'm not sure if that's a normal aroace thing or a certain aro-spec thing, i started asking that myself with the music and quickly started the whole romantic orientation crisis yet again, so please for the love of the pride lord, give me an answer....please

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frustrating answer: everything and nothing is normal!

no but truly, do not worry about this. LOTS of us revel in fictional romance, lots of us like imagining it but not actually experiencing it. humans in general like imagining/reading about stuff they'd never want to experience! there's a reason horror is such a popular genre, or murder mysteries, or thrillers. which is not to compare romance to those things, but more the example of enjoying the fictionalised version of something/fantasising about it =/= necessarily wanting it. 

you don't have to find a label that fits this specific thing. if you'd like to, of course you can, but I wouldn't stress about it. I myself love romance stories, and write quite a few myself (i also write Complicated Aro Feelings™ stuff!), and consider myself firmly aro. when you see a thread on here like "romantic songs we dislike" or something similar, that's often an expression of the frustration with how heavily society in general is amatonormative, and view romantic love as something necessary to the human experience. there's nothing wrong with enjoying romantic songs, or films, or stories, and also be aro.

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Seems quite a few people do.

I suppose it is a similar idea to enjoying fictional writing with romance in. There is a difference between enjoying something in abstract and enjoying that same thing when its happening to you.

As for what forum to choose, doesn't really matter. Sometimes music stuff ends up here, sometimes it ends up in pride and culture, could also go in the general discussion channel. As long as something isn't completely out of place, e.g. arcade game in the welcomes or whatever it is fine.

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I think, because the vast majority of songs that get onto the radio are about romance, that eventually most aro people will have a couple of songs about romance that they like, if only for the music, or maybe because they sing about romance in a way that feels relatable, or just because you like the metaphor they're using and want to pretend that the song is only about the metaphor. [thanks, Aqua]

Like, I'm ace and 'get lucky' should annoy me on principle, but its such a bop that I can't even vaguely dislike it. I also got massively into Taylor Swift *after* I knew I was aroace to the extent of owning all her albums, though I mostly prefer her breakup songs and angry songs. And the songs about bad relationships. But I also like 'love story'. Liking things doesn't really reflect on your orientation.

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Not aroace but some of my favorite songs are love songs 😄 Like Florence + the Machine's Cosmic Love- it's really dramatic and I can't relate to it, but it's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

Even if I can't share the experiences, I can still appreciate the sound and lyrics. I don't think I've ever disliked a song specifically for being a love song or for being "too romantic."

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Music is music. I like to listen to all kinds of music, even romance. In this case, my current favorite possible-romance song is "Forever and Always (feat. Becks)" by Written by Wolves. It is about loving someone until the end of the world, which I can always get behind, but whenever they talk about kissing I always imagine a kiss on the forehead rather than making out.

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I don't really read into the music I listen to so much. For me, it's the beat I can dance too. Or the gloom in a heartbreak song that will get to me. Even if I don't particularly relate to the song. I just listen to the artist tell their story through their lyrics. The song's about them not me. I'll not relate to everything. And that's okay.

The way I see it. The artist wrote their lyrics. Maybe someone will relate to the lyrics. Maybe someone will enjoy the beat. Or maybe someone will like how their voice sounds. You don't have to be a romantic to like something about a romantic song.

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