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I need Tips for coming out to parents


Blake

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Hiya everyone who will read this. So i will get straight to the point. I am thinking on coming out to my parents as non-binary transfemenine aroace. I started talking with doctors first, I drafted and have a letter with websites for resources for parents/guardians. I have a backup plan in case things go south, and I would be starting with my mother and step-father because they are who I currently live, but I would be expanding in the next weeks to more close family members.

However I am scared. I know I can answer any question they would have about aro/ace/trans issues (most questions here since I am still learning about this part of me). I can set up an evening when both of them (mother-stepfather) are relaxed, but any tips on how to start the convo? How to deal with rejection? what should I prepare for additionally? I want to do it because it is part of who I am and living a lie is killing me since maybe they will accept me and I can show them all I have learned and expand their knowledge. My brother has my back and I can live with him, I have friends who I can stay for some days in case of bad bad rejection. :3 I just need some motivations/tips or anything on how to put the subject on the table and start developing. My bro is queer and is open to my fam and he got some rejection from my father but he came around eventually. my mother was supportive of him, so maybe she will for me, but i am scared to take that step. help? and ty for reading this

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Congrats on taking the step! I'm sorry I don't have too much advice since I have very little experience coming out to family. But it sounds like you've thought it through and you're prepared. You got this!

Maybe one way to start the conversation is to preface that you're about to tell them something important, and tell them why it is important to you. That will hopefully put them in a more open-minded mindset.

Good luck!

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Woah you sounds like you’ve got it all planned out! I’ve always prepared myself for the “what’s that?” And cynical looks when I mention my orientation.

So I guess you might just need to be prepared for the difference between coming out as gay and coming out as aro. If I told people I was a lesbian, they’d probably just be like “yeah duh i know” but when I say aro, and the little red dotted lines pop up underneath the word as I’m typing in, the little worm of invalidation gets in.

So don’t lose your courage based on what they say, it seems like you have a lot of it! Remember that we’re all here for you and sounds like your brother is too. Good luck!

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Thanks. My first coming out went pretty well. My mother accepted me, she has questions but she handled the news pretty well. So I am in safe, going to wait few months (maybe till december) to come out to the rest of my immediate family). At least I know some of my fam has my back where I am.

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