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I think I might be in a abusive household


Perseus

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So, um this is gonna need a tw for obvious reasons. Now I know, this site probably isn't the best place to get help from but its the only site like this I can access right now.  I have been suspecting this for a while now and I finally decided to to some research into what abusive homes are like. I am currently living with my parents and my 2 sisters, I would say all but my youngest sister could be considered  abusers. I will be giving reasoning as to way I say this starting with my older sister. I definitely the one that gets the most physical, I have been shoved into countless things by her and dragged many places by her as well. She has done way worse before but stuff like that rarely happens. She tends to be a very manipulative st times and as tried to guilt trip me into doing many things. She wasn't always like this though, she isn't that much older than me and we've got a lot of similar interests; in fact, when we were younger we used to be best friends. About 3 or so years ago I decided to come out to her as a demiboy. She was well aware of the fact that I am not very comfortable with this information being shared with everyone yet; basically I'm trying to say she outed me to our kinda homophobic family. She calls me a lot of names like "bitch" and other stuff like that, she will also yell at my little sister for the tiniest things she does no matter what they are. Now onto my mother, she will basically just have me do things for her, like grab her a drink if shes in a bad mood, and yell a lot. She loves to make comments like "i just cant see you as a boy you know" she'll also acting like the most loving person ever if people are over, but a lot of my friends say they can tell its a facade. Now time for the last person my father, he pretty much neglects me and acts as if i don't exist, unless my mother tells I'm to come get me because he will then go find me and yell at me until I go. I will say, he loves to yell at my older sister, he has even smacked her multiple times so i guess I should be grateful I don't have to deal with that. So yeah, that's why I think I'm in an abusive household and I don't know what to do about it. So help please

Also just so you know, these are not the only things they do, these are just the things I deemed to be most important.

Edited by Perseus
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I cannot give much advice unfortunately, however what I will say is this. That behaviour is abusive. Plenty of abusers will act nice sometimes or put up a front to make you doubt yourself.there is no doubt that what you have described is abuse, there is no defense of 'but it rarely happens', abuse is abuse.

I do not know why this is the only site you have access to now but when you can, if you feel safe to do so,  make a point to find out for where you are what forms of child protection are available and how to contact them, also what organisations are around that offer advice and support. I have no idea what these would be as I do not know where you are but if you are safe to do so, find this out and at least then  you will know what your main options are. I cannot know your situation well enough to tell you what to do, however understanding what you can do should be useful.

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There are a lot of resources online for what you can do in those kinds of situations. I can't say I have much experience with it myself, but I'd recommend looking for resources that are local to your area if possible. You should also try reaching out to trustworthy adults outside your immediate family- Teachers, your friends' parents, maybe distant relatives, etc. Good luck, stay safe.

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18 minutes ago, roboticanary said:

I cannot give much advice unfortunately, however what I will say is this. That behaviour is abusive. Plenty of abusers will act nice sometimes or put up a front to make you doubt yourself.there is no doubt that what you have described is abuse, there is no defense of 'but it rarely happens', abuse is abuse.

I do not know why this is the only site you have access to now but when you can, if you feel safe to do so,  make a point to find out for where you are what forms of child protection are available and how to contact them, also what organisations are around that offer advice and support. I have no idea what these would be as I do not know where you are but if you are safe to do so, find this out and at least then  you will know what your main options are. I cannot know your situation well enough to tell you what to do, however understanding what you can do should be useful.

my mother is a teacher highly trusted by the district so idk if people would believe me

also this is like the only site like this that isn't blocked on my chromebook

15 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

There are a lot of resources online for what you can do in those kinds of situations. I can't say I have much experience with it myself, but I'd recommend looking for resources that are local to your area if possible. You should also try reaching out to trustworthy adults outside your immediate family- Teachers, your friends' parents, maybe distant relatives, etc. Good luck, stay safe.

like the only person i can think of isn't very mentally stable and is already low on money as is so i would probably just be a burden 

Edited by Perseus
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On 11/4/2020 at 11:06 PM, 2 Spirit Cherokee Princess said:

How are you doing?  Have you found any help yet? ?

eh could be doing better and no I haven't found help yet

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You should speak to someone. People may listen to you. If you feel like it there is also social association I guess (don't know how it works where you live, where I live there is a free number to call child protection and they send someone to investigate).

If things are linked to you being demiboy there is also LGBT shelters  I guess.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm really sorry you are in this situation. One option is that if you are thinking about going to college, college can be a good way to get away, even temporarily. This is obviously is not a solution. But colleges, especially if they have a good, well funded LGBT center, can be helpful. 

I don't know your full situation, but I want you to know that there is hope. 

Best of Luck

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