Celebrity crushes and the definition of romantic attraction

[lindi]

I haven't actually had celebrity crushes myself, but what I was thinking of, was how they fit with the definition of romantic attraction being "a desire to have a romantic relationship". I mean, there might be some deluded stalk-happy individual, who literally wishes for a relationship with the celebrity, but I bet most celebrity crushes are not like that.

 

The reason why I bring this up is, that my experience of romantic(?) attraction is close to having a "celebrity crush" on someone I actually know (altho usually not that well/closely). I feel the butterflies and kind of "worship them in my mind", but that doesn't translate into a desire for a relationship. In some cases I want to get to know them a little better (but not even as close friends), in some cases not at all - I just take the fleeting crush-like feelings as they come.

 

So, am I just a rare exception (maybe in the same way as autochorisexuals are an exception to both sexuals and asexuals), or does the definition of romantic attraction leave much to be desired?

[Elluna Hellen]

Hmmmm... I think it's maybe not just the stalkers who would WANT it (or at least would want to be noticed by the person), but I just think that with most people it translates to wishful thinking rather than actually attempting something? Possibly? I don't really know either though.

[AlexisS]

I've also wondered about the similar topic for a while. The definition of romantic attraction is quite a mystery to me.

 

Is it the desire that makes you want romantic closeness and exclusivity with someone you like?

Or is the intense feeling like 'butterflies' itself what counts as romantic attraction? 

Or do you need both to call it romantic attraction?

 

These were the questions I've been curious about. 

 

[paporomantic]

Does it count as romantic attraction when a fantasy in maladaptive daydreaming features hypothetical intensely passionate friendship with a 'celebrity acquaintance', but outside of daydream trance, I don't want to interact with them in any way?

[Cassiopeia]

I have actually wrote about this in another thread, as I also found the definition problematic. I don't want to double post, but tl,dr wishing for things and attraction isn't the same.

 

Attraction can be the motivation behind a wish, but there are lots of other things that can make you want things.

I had "a (vague) desire to have a romantic relationship", but the motivation was not romantic attraction, but internalized amatonormativity, and the lack of information that would have made it possible to realize that I wanted a QPR.

 

I haven't actually had celebrity crushes either, but I had lushes and squishes on unattainable people. Chances are, Ellie Mayday is straight, or if not, the whole thing is quite unrealistic, she lives quite far away, I'm probably not her type etc, but a girl can d̶r̶o̶o̶l̶ ehm, I mean dream. On a rational level, I'm okay with that, but still...