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BDSM Relationships


ladyasym
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Let's keep it PG! 

 

Is anyone else involved in BDSM type relationships while Aro? How is it working out for you? I'm pretty active in the scene and curious about how other Aro-spec people are experiencing this type of relationship. 

 

For me personally, it goes way beyond the sex, and I truly enjoy the non-romantic type of deep connection that comes with BDSM. To me, it is a really great compromise between an intimate romantic connection, and a purely sexual one - kind of an ideal middle ground, and one that's working out really well for me so far. 

 

Thoughts? Also, I'm open to questions here or over PM, in case anyone doesn't want to ask or discuss openly. (And if this is crossing a line, please let me know!) :)

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I'm a Sir/Daddy/pup sister to a pup/little, a Daddy to a pup/boy, a Trainer to a pony, and a pup/boi to a Sir. On top of that I have other casual play partners and the majority of my social circle are Leatherfolk. I pretty recently wrote about how kink relationships are my ideal, and how my involvement in BDSM helped me come to terms with being aro-spec. 

https://www.pupplay.info/2018/01/03/how-pup-play-helped-me-realize-im-aromantic/

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On 07/01/2018 at 5:09 AM, ladyasym said:

Is anyone else involved in BDSM type relationships while Aro? How is it working out for you? I'm pretty active in the scene and curious about how other Aro-spec people are experiencing this type of relationship.

I've found that my local scene can be very couple centric.
To the point that many events are very much "couplefests".

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16 hours ago, Mark said:

I've found that my local scene can be very couple centric.
To the point that many events are very much "couplefests".

 

That's unfortunate! I haven't had too much trouble finding play partners, but I'm looking forward to going to an event next weekend and hopefully meeting some more people in a casual context. There's always a few couples looking for a third, but so far, the scene here seems pretty inclusive. 

 

On 1/7/2018 at 1:38 PM, Phobe said:

I'm a Sir/Daddy/pup sister to a pup/little, a Daddy to a pup/boy, a Trainer to a pony, and a pup/boi to a Sir. On top of that I have other casual play partners and the majority of my social circle are Leatherfolk. I pretty recently wrote about how kink relationships are my ideal, and how my involvement in BDSM helped me come to terms with being aro-spec. 

https://www.pupplay.info/2018/01/03/how-pup-play-helped-me-realize-im-aromantic/

 

I really enjoyed your article - very interesting, and I definitely appreciate your perspective. Thanks for sharing! 

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  • 3 years later...

I never associated sex with love in the first place. My previous partners were confused that I play with friends and people that I just want to connect with. I think the scene is like a conversation held with actions too and lots of kind words, exploration. It's people being friends and doing things to enjoy themselves and free their minds. My 'romantic' or thereabout scene attempts were the most difficult ones as I refuse to power play in LTRs. There is just no total play. I prefer my plays casual and friendly. Or with strangers after careful introductions.

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I've been very involved with my local scene for years now, and have a few play partners. BDSM is completely non-sexual for me, but I love the trust and connection, and of course the playful fun of it.

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i'm domme af but it's just sexual for me, like when my fwb and i are just hanging out we're, well, just hanging out.  but yeah, that's how i am with any sexual partner, it's kind of non-negotiable.

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