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Asking straight girl to be your QPP?

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So I have this friend (well best friend) who I have a huge squish on and I've wanted to ask her to be my QPP for quite a while now. The problem is I think that she will think I like her romantically and she's straight (I'm afab).


I've told her many times I'm Aromantic and Asexual but she still thinks I'm lesbian because I mentioned that I don't like boys. 


I'm also scared that being in a QPR with her would make people think she's bi/lesbian and/or get her bullied. I love her to death (platonically of course) and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. I also know she really likes this guy and I don't want to ruin her chances with him.


I don't know what to do?! Please help!

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I'd be really leery of trying to be QPPs with someone who doesn't get that you're not romantically interested in her, personally. Especially with using the word, because to straight allos 'queer' kind of implies gay and 'partner' implies romantic. So given that she's shown she doesn't listen to explanations, I'm guessing that she'd assume you're wanting a gay romance with her.

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@Ettina had really good points, and I'd also like to add that: A) you know she's interested in someone of her preferred gender and you don't want to mess her chances up with him - especially as it doesn't seem either of them would understand what kind of relationship you're trying to forge with her beyond regular friendship. I'm not sure either of them would appreciate you trying to be more involved than a close friend would be either, if they did happen to get together. Having spent some time on here and AVEN, I'd like to think I understand a bit better what it is you'd like than they would, but I can still see what their POV might be. To them, you might seem like an unwelcome third wheel in their relationship, and the guy might think you're just trying to come between him and your friend, as well, possibly further cementing her conviction that you're a lesbian rather than aroace.

And B) you already know what the consequences could be for her - that just leads me to think it wouldn't be fair to ask her to be your QPP.

I don't doubt that you love her platonically, but I think this is one situation where you should try and put your own feelings aside, for her sake, as well as your own down the line. The bullying and speculation over her sexuality alone, (from equally non-understanding people), would likely hurt whatever relationship you have with her, anyway.

Good luck, whatever you decide on doing in the end.

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I think before you can even consider talking about QPP stuff with her, you'd need to educate her on the whole aro/ace thing first, to make completely sure that she actually understands your intentions 100%.


Until that happens, like Ettina and Untamed Heart have said, it's probably just going to cause misunderstandings. :(

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