Lieden

I know exactly what you're talking about, and I actually met a good aro friend on here! if you wanna chat I'm on discord just as Lieden and also instagram as @dragons_of_sylice . even if i don't hear from you, I wish you the best on your journey

I literally feel exactly the same. I just don't know how to find people and I hate assuming things so I never try and make any moves unless I'm certain it wouldn't make anyone uncomfortable

i feel this too. you're not alone. I wish there were answers for us, but I'm still looking. I wish you the best of luck

damn I relate to you so much. you put it so well into words... I wish us both luck in finding people. if you're comfortable, maybe we could chat over discord or instagram or something, just a thought.

I have not ever been in a relationship like that, and I envy you (your luck with a partner, not the unfortunate stuff with the other friend) I hope everything turns out okay for you, because in my experience, finding a good partner is just the hardest thing in the world

I relate so much to this... a lot of these things have happened exactly to me... the growing distant, less profound interactions, them thinking that everything is fine and the same. But as it's basically been said... friendships tend to take a way lower priority once a romantic relationship comes into the picture... I wish I could offer advice... but I'm struggling with the same thing. The most I can do is be here to tell you that you aren't alone.

I am here again because I need an outlet... and don't know a better place. I just got back from a party with some friends, it was really fun and mostly was really good for me. However, near the end, my best friend started talking about their partner of 1 year. It started fine, just my bf telling the other friends about their partner. But then my best friend is like "It's crazy cuz like, we're gonna get married." No one seems perturbed by this, one of the other friends asks: "Oh so are you gonna get married right when you're 18?" And my best friend says "When we're 22... it's crazy we have our whole future planned." Every time they bring up their partner it rubs me the wrong way, but today I started thinking about what part of it was making me uncomfortable. I envy the happiness they get from their relationship, but that didn't seem like the main "trigger." It also doesn't seem to be solely the common aromantic sentiment of being left behind (still a small factor though) So then I was like maybe I'm jealous about how certain they are about the future, which seems to be closer but still not the entire story. And then I started wondering if I was feeling bitter that my best friend is confident about a partner who, in my perspective, is a complete stranger. I've met the person, hell I had a fling with them! but that's another story. My point is, I basically know nothing about the partner, and that makes me feel a little bitter. And so here comes the conflicting feelings. I feel bitter about their relationship, but in my head I know I have no right to be so I try and be happy and supportive despite occasionally hoping their relationship fails. But I don't actually want that!! That'd be awful of me! So then I feel guilty for thinking sh*t like that. But all during this I'm basically mourning my relationship with my best friend before it's gone, which eventually makes me feel stupid because my friendship is fine, for now. But there is a sadness that comes with the "being left behind" that it seems a lot of aros feel. Anyway there's that.... I'm not necessarily looking for advice or anything.... I guess I needed to just vocalize my feelings

I feel the same way with my best friend. I wish I could offer some insight. For me I feel like I'm now never a priority, when I used to be. One moment in particular is a while ago, before my friend got a partner, they explained to me how when they hang out with their friends they always put away their phone so that they are fully present for their friends. Now their actions have gone back on that statement and whenever we hang out I see them texting their partner, they aren't fully present for me anymore. That's what makes me jealous, the fact that I am now somehow less important to them and therefore am less of a priority. So I understand your struggle, and I send you good wishes

Yesterday I hung out with my best friend. They brought their partner (I agreed to it) and we worked on some projects. But at one point my friends partner had to go because they had to work, and my friend kinda pouted and went over and started cuddling the partner... while I was literally sitting right next to them. It was like I wasn't even there. I felt that a lot during the hangout. They would randomly kiss and be all lovey dovey. It made me really uncomfortable. But I don't know if I should say anything about it because I don't ever really hang out with the two of them at once. But I don't want to feel uncomfortable hanging out with friends, so I just don't know what to do.

I'm not sure what I hope to accomplish by writing this. I'm feeling really alone right now I guess and maybe I'm just looking for validation and community. Regardless, I'm putting myself out there. I have only recently settled in with the aromantic identity, I always have been aro but only now do I have the words for it. I attempted 2 romantic relationships, naturally they failed, but lucky for me both of those people were cool enough to be cool about it. My first ex is supposed to be my best friend, and they are, but just like many other aro people I feel them drifting away from me and having less time for me. Because they are now in a relationship with my other ex, all due to me getting them together. I tell myself that I am happy for the two of them, but deep down I'm not. I want my best friend back. And I feel bad for feeling that because it feels selfish. And now that I know for sure that I'm aro I fell lost on what I can do. I know things aren't going back to the way things were, but how do I move forward? I keep trying to figure out how I can achieve what I want. I want a relationship, I used to describe it as "a best friend who can also be my cuddle buddy." Now I have the words to express that it is just a queerplatonic relationship that I want. But why does it have to be so hard? Being aro just brings my potential partners down so much. How do I find people? I just want to not feel alone anymore.

So I keep seeing this kind of thing on a lot of posts here. My main question is what about the in person aspect? I mean, meeting people online is wonderful, and totally valid. But meeting someone random on social media or something isn't helpful to me if there's no (simple) way to meet them irl. Does that make sense?