Picklethewickle

That's cool. Do you think I should add something to the poll to include you?

What he is describing sounds like he wants an actual romantic relationship, one where you are supposed to carry out romantic acts for his benefit and the benefit of your parents. If it feels wrong to you, then it is wrong for you. It could also be wrong for him, when he comes to realize that his feelings aren't returned it could cause him a lot of unhappiness and hurt feelings. Romantically-inclined people don't always fully realize what we mean when we say we are aromantic. They get the idea that we can still do the romantic stuff for them, and don't realize these things can be upsetting for us and the performance will never be fulfilling for anyone. You said you expect to have to enter a conventional relationship one day, but is that day today? Even if you do enter a relationship one day, it doesn't have to be with him.

It's called self-sabotaging, and it isn't silly. It happens to a lot of people who fear rejection or failure. The reasons for this fear, and why people compensate by ending a relationship before it can fail, are personal and complex. It's not a simple matter of saying "Okay, I won't self-sabotage anymore", it takes a lot of reflection and healing. Give yourself time to develop healthier interpersonal skills.

Do you identify as aromantic asexual or aromantic allosexual? This means any identity on the aromantic spectrum, the asexual spectrum, and the sexual spectrum. Do you feel there are better terms and labels in place of the ones used in the poll? Let me know. Also feel free to reply with personal notes on your identity.

I'm not out in the sense that I've never sat anyone down for a conversation or explained my labels. However, I do make it clear to everyone that I'm not interested in romance, or sex, or relationships. If any of the people I know were to come across the term "aroace" they would know immediately that the word was describing me.

I'm also aroace. This thread does make me curious: are there more aroaces or aroallos on this site?

I love being aroace. It feels right, more than that, it feels good. I'm glad to not be tied up in relationships and romantic and sexual needs.

I don't really understand the romance genre myself, but I am interested in other people's thoughts. Are there specific things about it that make you happy?

I'd rather commit murder than get into a romantic relationship.

Having feelings doesn't mean you're obligated to act on those feelings. You can reflect on those feelings without doing anything with them, or let them pass in time.

Sometimes people have trouble adjusting their words and behaviour because they are still emotionally invested in who they thought you were and how they interacted with you before your transition or name change. Maybe you could let you know that while you still value the friendship you two share, you want the continuing friendship to build on who you are now.

I'm not a dream reader, but I will share my thoughts. Lots of times when I encounter sexual content watching shows or reading, I perceive the characters as being anxious and unwilling, even though they are clearly not. It took a bit for me to realize that was me projecting. What I'm seeing in the dream is that it opens with people expecting you to have sex, and pressuring you to do so. The part with the girl undressing sets up the sexual expectations. When she says "I don't want to do this" she is voicing your feelings about not wanting sex, and she is giving you permission to acknowledge this feeling. Her supporting you afterward is the support you need in society as an aroace. The part with one parent saying it's okay and the other saying that you would still be forced represents the mixed messages life sends, and the mention of the government shows how even with the help of some supportive individuals the dominate view in the world is that you should have sex eventually.

You really don't owe anyone an explanation. You can turn people down no matter your orientation. If you do want to tell people about being aroace, only tell it to those who are trustworthy and respectful. Unfortunately, telling people you are aroace doesn't protect you from being harassed, it just opens you up to new forms of harassment. Can you block him on instagram? Can you tell him "I don't want to get closer to you, I got bullied into sharing with you, and this whole thing has really offended me and put me in a bad situation." Can you say that to your friends? The words are admittedly harsh, but they are the ones in the wrong. When your friends show you pictures asking "Would you hit her?" can you tell them "Don't send me pictures of people, that's creepy."

What's wrong with "You're assholes, bye." What's wrong with never speaking to them again? (Yes, I know it's rude. That's the point.)

Wow. I don't know what it is. I find it unfathomable. I like it.

I'm aplatonic. I can find people interesting and likable, but I don't feel a need to bond with someone as a friend. Friendships can be nice in small doses, but overall maintaining a friendship is a lot of work and can be more burdensome than anything. I very much prefer casual acquaintances and communicating with people through the internet over pyhsically getting together and spending time with people. I've also noticed that I don't find the end of friendships painful. I've seen many other people grieve the end of a friendship, but to me these kind of life changes are healthy, normal, and easy to accept.

Do you hate your body? While many developing girls hate the way their bodies are objectified and sexualized, it isn't common for girls to hate their bodies simply for being. What would feel like a comfortable body to you? As for having difficulty determining your gender as an internal sense of self, have you explored the thought that you don't experience gender this way? If you don't relate to gender, what are your thoughts on being agender?

When Frey is taken in by the First Order, they promise to give her everything, and the only thing they take in return is her name. She doesn't question the cost of living as a number, or the worth of a name. (It's from a fanfiction I wrote for Star Wars)

It sounds like it's not so much transphobia, but risk-aversion. For medical risks, see if you can do research, talk to doctors, and talk to people who have transitioned so they can tell you what the associated risks truly are, how likely is it for those risks to occur, how to minimize risk, and how to cope if issues do occur. For social risks, such as threats or rejection, build a support network. Are there people in your life now who are supportive of you transitioning? Can you get to know other people who have transitioned, so that you can all support each other?

Relationships are often portrayed as the peak of life, and being out of a relationship is something you come to terms with until you can change matters. Me, I really like being single. Does anyone else feel like being single is their way of living their best life?