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Untamed Heart

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About Untamed Heart

  • Birthday 04/05/1983

Personal Information

  • Name
    Anne
  • Orientation
    Hetero, grey, lithro? Aroflux?
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She, her
  • Occupation
    Dirt removal person

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  1. Untamed Heart

    Stuff I've been pondering lately: have any women suddenly started having crushes on other women later in life, when they never did before? (I've never had crushes - romantic or otherwise - on other women, but I have sometimes felt a bit confused and questioned how straight I actually am and wondered if anyone had ever experienced that, rather than being bi or lesbian the whole time and either in denial or not realising how they actually did feel thanks to heteronormativity), and is it possible to gradually become aro over time? ALSO: I love indulging in romantic fantasies now and then, but I nearly always sabotage them in some way - e.g. I'll have a nice 'fantasy boyfriend' but after a short while I might make him want kids or do something else unforgivable... it rarely ends up being 'happy ever after'. Does that mean anything? xD LMAO!!

    1. omitef

      omitef

      Not gonna answer the first question since I'm not a woman; as for "is it possible to gradually become aro over time?"

       

      I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me, although I'm also questioning whether my past "crushes" were actually special-interest-style squishes whom I were aesthetically attracted to. In any case, my desire to have any connection that could be remotely classified as romantic has gradually plummeted to the point of nonexistence (which is why I went from identifying as lithromantic, to identifying as totally aromantic). The most romo thing I did recently was consider the possibility of being my squish's boyfriend rather than queerplatonic partner, since I'm not sure if he has a squish, or an unrequited crush on me. Then my squish mentioned the idea of marriage (not even in the sense of anyone getting married--just the concept of marriage) and I was so romance-repulsed that I decided I could never be anyone's romantic partner under any circumstance ever. 

    2. Untamed Heart

      Untamed Heart

      Thanks, that does make sense - I really don't think I could get married. The idea doesn't repulse me as such, but after feeling so awful and confused in most of my relationships (2 - 3 months on average), it doesn't seem like a good thing for me to do. I'd only do it if I met someone extraordinarily well matched to me and we still felt like being together after at least two years - IMHO that's not a realistic expectation (and I don't care if I'm never proven wrong). I also abhor the fact it costs so much to separate and there's so much upheaval involved, even if it's done on good terms. 

      Even if I'm not growing more aro, I'd still rather avoid romance, as well. I'm still happy being single and living on my own terms, even though I'm not fully independent yet :) 

    3. Untamed Heart

      Untamed Heart

      And I just read that special-interest style squish link... I've definitely had that more than once, but it never actually occurred to me it could be linked to autism. I was diagnosed at 17, didn't know until my late 20s though and I'm still learning new things about how it affects me :P. I had a very long term obsession with an ageing rock star (5+ years) for one, and several obsessions with other non-celeb people along the way.

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